


Start Spilling Our Sweat (And Not Our Blood)

by Safaia



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Chuck Lives, Cuddling, F/M, Herc dies instead of Chuck, Language, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 23:53:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 52,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7129586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Safaia/pseuds/Safaia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The EMP blast from Leatherback does more damage than they originally thought and Pentecost is forced to ground Chuck. After Herc and Pentecost clear the way and Mako and Raleigh save the world the last three jaeger pilots must learn to heal now that the world isn't ending. However, not everyone in the world is happy that the Kaiju are gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mako

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic took me forever. I started this about six months after the movie came out and I just finished it the end of last year. I've spent the better part of several months trying to find someone to edit this monster but was only able to find one person who was only able to make it part of the way through. I don't like posting stuff that isn't beta read but I decided to just post this and get it over with. Then I hesitated because the Pacific Rim fandom felt kind of dead but now with casting announcements I figured now was the best time. 
> 
> This is inspired by the fact that cuddling is seriously the best thing ever and that I will forever be sad that Chuck Hansen is dead. I've played fast and lose with the canon but tried to keep things as close as possible. Please excuse any mistakes and let me know where they are. Also, I tried as hard as I could to keep Max in the story as much as possible but there were moments where I felt like I forgot he was there? So that's my bad.

_It's when we start working together that the real healing takes place... it's when we start spilling our sweat, and not our blood. - David Hume_

There had been too much going on in the fight between Leatherback and Otachi for Mako to truly comprehend everything that had happened. She knew that in a few hours it was going to hit her that the Kaidonovsky’s and the Wei’s were dead and that they were now two jaegers short for their Operation.Everyone around her was cheering as if they’ just closed the breach. Mako could only smile as everyone congratulated her and Raleigh for a job well done. 

Herc Hansen walked over and offered Raleigh a hand, expressing his gratitude. Both of the Hansen's were a little bruised around the edges and Herc was particular was lucky, if he’d gotten out of the harness even a few seconds earlier he could have gotten seriously hurt. As Herc and Raleigh talked, Mako took the time to scan the crowd. She saw Chuck a little off to the side, looking a little on the pale side but otherwise okay. She would’ve been lying to herself if she wasn't more than a little relieved. 

Pentecost walked out and congratulated them all, but it was short lived, he left soon after his nose started bleeding. Raleigh glanced at her and Mako looked back at him sadly. There wasn't anything anyone could do for her sensei at this stage. Raleigh followed after Pentecost, no doubt to question him about the illness, but it was another thing that Mako was trying not to think about. A Gipsy tech helped her out of the drive suit, Mako couldn’t help but stare at her shaking hands. She wasn’t really afraid but facing down two Kaiju left an impression.

Sleep, she decided, was the best course of action. 

Mako was about halfway to her bunk when she heard Max barking. It was a bit surprising, Chuck had had Max well trained regarding barking in the halls near the bunks, but still, Max was barking insistently. She wasn't sure what it was, but it was weird enough that Mako decided to follow the noise down the mostly empty hall. Mako turned a corner and froze.   
Chuck was on the ground, his back arched in a terrible way and having what appeared to be a seizure. His limbs contorted and twisted in ways that made Mako wince. She was halfway down the hall without thinking twice, struggling to turn Chuck on his side. Max was barking, most likely worried because he couldn’t understand what was wrong with his master. Mako called out for someone, anyone, and was fortunate enough that someone came running. "He's having a seizure, get someone from medical," she ordered. 

In the brief moments it took for medical to get to them, Raleigh has pushed his way through the crowd. If he was surprised to see her helping Chuck Hansen he didn't show it. Herc was at his son's side when medical managed to get Chuck on a stretcher. The seizure was ending but that didn't make Herc look any less worried. Raleigh placed himself at her side close enough that they were shoulder to shoulder as they watched medical roll Chuck away. The contact helped ground Mako back into reality because this wasn't the academy. 

+++

In the excitement of two category four Kaiju, her first battle, and losing two crews everyone forgot that Chuck and Herc were still in the drift when Leatherback used the EMP blast. No one had ever thought a Kaiju could do something like that so no one had any idea how a mind was going to react. It took Pentecost to convince Herc to leave Chuck's side and get tested. There were many scans, a lot of blood, and Chuck had another seizure mere hours later. Someone having a seizure in the drift was not unheard of but Chuck hadn't had one before. That didn't make Mako any less worried as she watched Chuck sleep through the small window in his room. 

Herc thanked her for staying when they released him with a clean bill of health but an order to get some rest. Pentecost wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders and held her close. Mako knew he hated to leave a ranger's side but there was far too much to do. Mako didn't have any else to do so she stayed. Raleigh joined her after an hour and stood at her side. From the drift Mako knew all of Raleigh's tells when it came to asking uncomfortable questions. She didn't take advantage of this knowledge and waited for him to ask. 

"It's really kind of you to watch over him like this," Raleigh said.

"Of course; he'd do the same for me," she replied.

"Considering what he said earlier I'm a little surprised to hear that." Raleigh shifted so their arms were touching again. Mako wasn't sure if it was the drift or just Raleigh but there was something about that touch that she found comforting. 

"We practically grew up together," Mako explained. "Our dad's were always very close and worked together often even after the Marshall retired. We're about the same age and I remember the attack on Sydney. His mother was killed in it and Herc only had time to rescue one of them. He chose Chuck. I met Chuck about two weeks later and he was understandably angry. He was sitting on a couch with Max and I sat down next to him. He tried to get me to leave but I didn't want to. I understood and when he realized that he let me pet Max."

"I never would have guessed you were close," Raleigh said and Mako shrugged.

"Chuck is a perfectionist. Operation: Pitfall is extremely important to him and the thought that someone could ruin it is an understandable grievance. Chuck's just not one to hold back when it comes to voicing his opinion about something he doesn't agree with."

"Like a rookie and a has-been who had a bad drift that nearly took out the Shatterdome," Raleigh said. Mako hummed in agreement and watched Chuck sleep. Raleigh stayed with her until medical ordered that they go and get some sleep. They ran into Tendo with Max on the way back to their rooms. Apparently Herc persuaded the doctor's to let Max sleep with Chuck now that they thought they had the seizures under control. Mako silently agreed that Max might placate Chuck a bit when he woke up. If there was one thing Chuck hated just as much as incompetence it was weakness and Mako knew he was going to blame this on his own weakness. Like he could have somehow prepared his mind for an EMP blast from a Kaiju. Mako parted ways with Raleigh and nearly collapsed into her bed. She had purposely avoided the diagnosis but she had a terrible feeling that it wasn't going to be anything good.

Mako fell asleep with the sounds of Otachi roaring at them in her head.

+++

The prognosis was not good as Mako feared. Something about the EMP blast yanking Chuck out of the drift had damaged something in Chuck's mind. They were confident that it wasn't permanent but there wouldn't be enough time for him to recover before Pitfall. Chuck wasn't happy about that and the fight that followed was one that Mako wished she wasn't present for.

"You can't ground me for this," Chuck snapped. 

"I absolutely can," Pentecost replied. "And I believe I just did. You are grounded Ranger and this isn't up for discussion."

"I'm fine, I haven't had an episode in hours, I need to be there for this," Chuck said and Mako closed her eyes to the desperate edge his voice was taking.

"We don't know if you'll have another one though," Herc said softly and Mako knew what Herc was going to say before he said it. "What if you have one at the bottom of the ocean before we launch the payload? You could jeopardize the entire mission." Chuck opened his mouth to say something but snapped it shut. There was no better way to convince Chuck than to stay the statement 'jeopardize the mission' because the mission was everything. Chuck wouldn't tolerate failure, failure wasn't an option right now because this was the last hurrah, and Chuck knew that. Herc also knew that it would end the argument and that was why he said it. Chuck nodded stiffly, turned on his heels, and stomped out of the room. Mako didn't wait to hear what Herc or Pentecost had to say, she followed him, but Chuck was around the corner and out of sight before she could get a word in edgewise. 

Herc couldn't pilot Striker alone and Mako wished she was surprised when Pentecost emerged in a drive suit but she wasn't. Pentecost and Herc would drift well and while she knew that getting into a Jaeger would kill him when he said 'not getting into one would kill us all' Mako could only agree to protect him. While Pentecost talked about canceling the apocalypse Mako glanced over her shoulder and saw Chuck standing in the back. Raleigh followed her gaze and Chuck steadfastly ignored both of them in favor of glaring at the floor like it personally offended him. Mako hoped Chuck and Herc would say something to each other.

Deep In the Pacific it all went to hell faster than anyone had anticipated. Water poured into the conpod and there was nothing her and Raleigh could do to protect Striker. Scunner and Slattern were converging on Striker to take it out because it was the dangerous one in their eyes. A pit formed in her stomach when she realized what Pentecost was suggesting. She also knew for a fact that Chuck was in the LOCCENT right now listening as Herc and Pentecost made the decision to detonate the payload to clear their path. In the drift Mako could feel Raleigh reaching out, trying to ease her mind, but there wasn’t anything in the world that could make this okay.

“It’s like I always told my son; if you have a shot you take it,” Herc said. 

“You can always find me in the drift,” Pentecost said. Mako told him she loved him in her mother tongue and braced herself for impact. She only vague remembered falling into the breach but it wasn’t long after that everything started to go dark around the edges. They weren’t done, they hadn’t detonated yet, if they didn’t detonate soon it would all be for nothing. Raleigh said something through the drift but Mako only vaguely heard it. Everything went dark.

Mako woke up to the smell of the ocean and salt on her tongue. As soon as she saw Raleigh’s pod she dove in and swam over to him ignoring how heavy the suit was and how it nearly dragged her down. For a brief moment Mako was sure he was dead and it felt like she lost a limb. This was how it felt to lose a drift partner and she understood Raleigh’s apprehension to drift with someone even more. The moment he said she was holding him too tight Mako felt a weight lift from her shoulders. They grinned like idiots and pressed their foreheads together. The choppers were here to collect them and Mako held onto Raleigh like she was sure he would vanish. 

It wasn’t until they were settled into the chopper that the reality of the situation truly began to sink in. They had done it, the breach was closed, they canceled the apocalypse just like her sensei said they would. The cost, however, wasn’t something Mako could think about yet. She knew that Pentecost was dying and that he didn’t have much time left. She also knew that, if given the choice, he would pick dying in a jaeger over any other option. Logically she knew this but Pentecost was the only family she had since Tokyo took her heart all of those years ago. It was Pentecost that gave Mako her heart back by letting her into a jaeger when by all odds it was a terrible idea. She couldn’t dwell on him being gone yet. 

Everyone greeted them like heroes. Everyone was cheering, laughing, alive in a way no one had been since K Day. Tomorrow they were going to wake up and not have to worry about Kaiju tearing the world apart. As Mako accepted a hug from Tendo it nearly stunned her to silence. Her entire life was built around the Kaiju and now they were gone. A massive part of her life, a terrible part, was gone. It made her feel a little lost. Mako scanned the crowd and saw the Striker crowd toasting and taking shots but no sign of Chuck. She didn’t really expect him to join in the celebration and Mako wasn’t really feeling it either. She accepted a glass of champagne and sipped on it until she spotted Raleigh. Maybe it was the drift but they both headed toward the exit. They reached the elevator at the same time and Mako felt exhausted in a way she had never experienced. She was exhausted from piloting Gipsy, she was exhausted from the drift, she was exhausted emotionally, all Mako wanted to do was sleep for a week. 

“We don’t have any obligations,” Raleigh said as if reading her mind.

“We should report in and—“ Mako began because they had plenty of obligations.

“We don’t have any obligations. We don’t owe them anything,” Raleigh repeated. He wasn’t wrong and no one would blame them for taking some time to sleep. It wasn’t like they hadn’t earned it. Raleigh walked with her to her room and he smiled that infectious, puppy like grin because one of them needed to smile right now so maybe it had to be him. He kissed her forehead because he knew that her father and Pentecost used to do that to make her feel better and Raleigh knew that from the drift. Mako accepted the gesture for what it was and went into her room. She was barely out of her gear and onto her bed when Mako passed out. 

+++

Two days later and the parties in the Shatterdome were still going strong but in a much more solemn way. After the initial joy of knowing it was over wore off everyone remembered everyone they had lost recently. They thought about the lost lives and massive property damage over in Hong Kong. There was still plenty to celebrate but just as much to mourn. Mako kept her focus on healing physically. She went to medical and they told her that it was going to take time. Her mind thought a Kaiju tore her body apart and now it was confused by the lack of injuries. The phantom aches in all of her limbs would fade but she needed to give it time. Mako just accepted everything the doctors told her and promised to report in if she noticed anything different. 

Mako wanted to tell them that everything was different but not in the way they thought but it wasn’t their job to teach her how to live in a Kaiju free world. That was also going to take time and more than just the week it would take her body to heal from injuries that didn’t really happen. 

She was debating whether a trip to the kwoon or a nap sounded like a better idea when Mako noticed one of the Striker techs knelt down in front of Chuck’s room. She stopped and watched him switch out one full tray of food for another. He turned and blinked at her.

“Miss. Mori,” he said with a polite bow.

“What are you doing?” she asked. The tech frowned deeply and glanced over his shoulder at the door.

“He hasn’t left his room in two days. Won’t open the door for anyone and all of the trays of food come back full. No one knows his passcode either,” the tech explained. “Herc would want us to look after him, you know?” 

“I understand,” Mako replied. The tech smiled wearily and walked back toward the mess with a plate of spoiled food. Mako studied the door in front of her carefully. She thought about everything she knew about Chuck and what he would use a password. Mako picked up the tray and walked up to the door. She was fairly sure Chuck would ignore her if she knocked so she had to forgo manners. Mako typed a four digit code into the door and wasn’t surprised when it clicked open.

It was Chuck who was clearly surprised to see her standing in his doorway. There were dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in days and Mako guessed his red eyes were less from tears and more from lack of sleep. He was on his feet in seconds and Chuck just stared at her like he had never seen her before. Mako closed the door behind her as Max ran up to her clearly excited by the company. 

“How did you get in here?” he asked.

“I guessed your password,” Mako replied. She set the tray on the small end table and knelt down to scratch Max behind the ears. Mako didn’t miss the way Chuck tensed up when she said that but she chose to ignore it. 

“You didn’t knock,” Chuck said as Mako stood up.

“Would you have let me in if I did?” she asked with a raised brow. Chuck opened his mouth, closed it, and scowled. “Eat before I force it down your throat.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Chuck snapped.

“You know I can.” He didn’t deny it because they both knew out of the two of them Mako was the more skilled fighter and she could easily put him on the ground if necessary. Chuck looked like he was going to try and fight her on that but settled down on his bed and put the tray on his lap. Mako waited until he was already eating to sit down next to him on the edge of his bed. She made sure to keep some distance between them because she wasn’t sure Chuck wouldn’t lash out at her. Mako knew this Chuck; it was the same Chuck she met when they were kids. The deja-vu made her feel a little sick to her stomach. 

“How did you know it would be that day?” Chuck asked after twenty minutes of silence. 

“The same reason you could guess my code,” Mako replied honestly. Chuck looked at her out of the corner of his eye. Mako guessed Chuck’s code was the day his mom died, the day that changed him, that day that defined his entire life, because hers was the day her family died. For her it was the constant reminder of what she had lost, what she was fighting for, and Mako guessed it was similar for Chuck. He didn’t deny it but at least he finished his food. She covered one essential that Chuck was missing and now she intended to cover the other. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“What? Why?” Chuck asked incredulously. 

“Because Max needs it,” Mako replied. That was the best way to get Chuck to do anything. Chuck frowned and looked at Max who barked happily like the idea of a walk was the best idea he ever heard. Chuck scowled but gave in almost right away. Chuck clipped Max’s leash on but didn’t really hold onto it. Mako took Chuck’s arm and pulled him down the hallway and Max followed. They weren’t going far and she felt Chuck tense up when they stopped in front of a door. 

“Why are we here?” Chuck asked.

“Do you remember when we were kids and there was a meeting that both of our Father’s needed to attend?” Mako asked as she typed a number into the keypad. The door opened easily and she had to nearly pull Chuck into the door.

“I remember,” Chuck said slowly. Mako let Max walk into the room and let the door close and lock.

“We had nightmares, both of us, during that time.” Mako explained as she released Chuck’s arm and began to move things around Pentecost’s room. There was a heavy feeling in her heart but this moment wasn’t about her. There was time for her at another date. “And it helped when someone else was with us while we slept.” 

Mako sat down on the edge of Pentecost’s bed and raised an eyebrow at Chuck in challenge. He narrowed his eyes at her like he was trying to discern her intention. It hurt a little more than Mako was willing to admit that Chuck didn’t trust her anymore but she couldn’t dwell on that. Mako wasn’t sure how long they stood there staring at each other like idiots but eventually Chuck kicked off his boots. Chuck grumbled when Mako tried to wrap her arms around but she shushed him. Eventually Chuck lay down so he was resting on her chest his arms around her waist. Mako carded her fingers through his short hair in the way that she knew he liked. It took some time but eventually Chuck relaxed. Mako knew the moment he fell asleep and she was content to lie there for hours if that’s what was needed.

+++

Mako drifted off to sleep and only woke up when Max shifted in a way that startled her. Chuck, however, was fast asleep and Mako was reluctant to move him. He was frowning in his sleep so deeply that she was halfway tempted to move him just so his face wouldn’t get stuck like that. Someone would be looking for them soon, however, and they couldn’t hide in here forever. Chuck must have sensed that she was awake because he woke up not long after. He didn’t jump out of the bed but he didn’t linger either. Mako wasn’t expecting that though and she laced up her own boots with him in silence. Every now and then her arm would brush against his and it reminded her of Raleigh. 

Chuck walked out of the room without a word but Mako wasn’t expecting one. When she got back to her room she also wasn’t surprised to see Raleigh waiting for her. He tilted his head to the side in a way that made Mako smile because it reminded her of a puppy. She tried to hide the smile but Raleigh must have noticed it. He stood up and walked over to her. 

“Where were you? I was worried,” he said. Mako thought about it for a moment. There was a good chance that Chuck would need some time to relax tomorrow. Mako was also very sure that Chuck wouldn’t want anyone to know about this. At least not yet. He was still too fragile and this was going to take time. 

“I just needed some time,” she said which wasn’t really a lie or the truth. Raleigh no doubt knew that she was keeping something from him but he was wisely didn’t push her. Instead he walked with her to the mess hall to get something to eat. When they passed Chuck’s room the Striker tech was picking up an empty tray. He gave her a thumbs up when she passed and Mako smiled back.

The next day Mako was half expecting for Chuck to have changed the code to get into his room. She spent a majority of her morning trying to think of what other alternatives he could chose just in case. When Mako arrived outside Chuck’s room she was pleased to see an empty tray of food. That meant that at least he was eating if nothing else. Mako knew Chuck though and she knew that he wasn’t sleeping. Mako typed in the code and smiled to herself when the door opened.

Chuck was on the floor petting Max who seemed very eager to play. The dog was probably more than a little stir crazy and she tried to think of someone that could take him for a walk but wouldn’t ask questions as to what her and Chuck were doing behind closed doors. It wasn’t likely anyone would believe Newt and Mako had a feeling she could scare him into being quiet. The Striker crew would keep quiet but talk amongst themselves because that was what jaeger crews did. Tendo was more than likely her best option. 

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to come back,” Chuck said without looking up from where he was playing with Max.

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to let me in,” Mako replied. Despite the fact that Chuck wasn’t looking at her she could see a small smile on his lips but it faded quickly. Mako could see him withdrawing and wasn’t going to let that happen. She put a hand on his shoulder and knelt down to pet Max. 

“Look, Mako, you don’t need to come here,” Chuck said softly. “I’m sure you have other things to worry about besides babysitting me.”

“I’m the same age as you. I can’t babysit you,” Mako replied. “But we can look after each other. Like when we were kids.” Chuck frowned deeply like he was going to argue but sighed heavily instead. When she stood up Mako offered him a hand. Chuck stared at it like he was trying to discern some sort of hidden meaning in her intentions. He must not have found one because Chuck let Mako pull him to his feet. This time Chuck followed her without a word and when they walked into Pentecost’s old room he kicked off his boots. As soon as Mako laid down Chuck wrapped himself around her like an octopus and was asleep almost instantly. Mako smiled to herself; helping Chuck gave her something else to focus on. That way she didn’t have to think about all of the people they had lost in the last few weeks or how she was an orphan again. 

Mako pulled Chuck a little closer and took comfort in another person’s presence.

+++

On the third day Mako knew two things for sure; one: Chuck was not sleeping unless it was with her and two: this couldn’t go on forever. This time Chuck was waiting her when she arrived and he didn’t even bother to lace up his boots. Mako was trying to come up with a way to word this that wouldn’t make Chuck angry. The thought of him shutting her out now made her chest constrict. This couldn’t go on forever though and they both needed help moving on. Chuck was just getting comfortable when Mako decided to breach this particular subject. 

“You know that there’s someone else who has gone through what we have,” she said. 

“It was war. Everyone lost somebody,” Chuck replied. 

“Yes, but not everyone understands what we go through. There is someone though,” Mako said. Chuck sat up and frowned at her. “Raleigh.”

“No,” Chuck said as he lay back down.

“He knows what we’re going through,” Mako repeated but Chuck scoffed.

“He doesn’t want anything to do with me. I was an asshole.” Chuck shifted so they were shoulder to shoulder on the small bed. “What I said the other day—“

“You don’t need to apologize,” Mako interrupted. “We almost blew up the Shatterdome. We were about to go on an extremely dangerous mission. You were right to be angry.”

“If that has been hadn’t been there then there wouldn’t have been any problems,” Chuck snapped. “You could have handled it with someone better to drift with.”

“Like you?” Mako asked. It was an unspoken assumption in the academy that she was going to pilot with Chuck. They talked about it when they were kids and the older they got the more obvious it became. Then Chuck’s Uncle Scott fell apart and Herc needed a co-pilot. Chuck graduated and became a pilot while Mako was left behind. They stopped talking after that, drifted apart, because Mako thought, at the end of the day, they were disappointed. They could have been brilliant and they never even got a chance to drift. Chuck’s ears turned a little red and he glared at her. 

“You deserved better for your first run,” he said without answering her question.

“And now?” Mako asked.

“Now it doesn’t fucking matter because the program is done. No more jaegers, no more pilots, no more Kaiju,” Chuck replied as he settled back down next to her. Chuck was like her; neither of them had much of an identity outside of jaegers or Kaiju. “Becket doesn’t want anything to do with me. He doesn’t give a shit about me or any of this.” Mako didn’t believe him for a moment; Raleigh had a good heart and Mako was confident that he could help both of them. Mako didn’t push it anymore and let Chuck’s even breathing lull her off to sleep. 

+++

After three hours Mako walked with Chuck back to his room for the first time. He looked at her like he wanted to say something but had no idea what to say. The Hansen family wasn’t known for speaking their minds about tough issues. It wasn’t that Chuck wasn’t willing to speak his mind but more that he couldn’t say important things out loud. Mako squeezed his shoulder and he relaxed a little. Chuck nodded sharply and vanished into his quarters. Mako turned to go back to her own room when she saw Raleigh standing at the end of the hallway staring at her with raised eyebrow. Mako gestured toward her room and Raleigh followed her without question. He didn’t say anything until they were behind the safety of a closed door. 

“Want to tell me what’s going on?” Raleigh asked. He didn’t sound angry, more concerned, like Chuck was going to hurt her in some way. 

“We aren’t doing well, Raleigh,” Mako replied. Raleigh’s features softened instantly because she didn’t need to voice what she was talking about. “He’s doing worse than I am. Pentecost raised me as his own but we never drifted. Chuck and his father had a complicated relationship but Chuck lost his right side. You know what that’s like.”

“Yeah, I do.” Raleigh pulled her into a tight hug and Mako let herself hug him tightly. 

“He needs your help just as much as I do,” Mako said when they broke apart. Raleigh frowned.

“Chuck hates me, why would he want any help from me?” he asked.

“He doesn’t hate you. He was just lashing out because a critical mission was in jeopardy,” Mako explained.

“He isn’t going to want me there. It’ll be even worse,” Raleigh said. 

“I want you there. Chuck can be a hard person to be around and he will lash out right now but he needs help from someone with experience. You know what he’s going through, what we’re going through, and we need your help.” Mako knew that Raleigh was going to agree long before he said anything but she still felt relieved when he nodded. 

“I even know what he’s going to be like. I wasn’t exactly a joy to be around after Knifehead,” Raleigh said but he was smiling. Raleigh took Mako’s hand and they walked out to the mess hall together. After a fairly filling dinner Mako walked back to her room with Raleigh. She didn’t ask him to follow her into her room but he did anyway. They got dressed into more comfortable clothing with their backs to each other. Mako let Raleigh wrap himself around her like an anchor much like Chuck did. He was asleep fairly quickly but Mako watched the ceiling for a long time. She wasn’t sure how this was going to go and it made her a little nervous. There was no telling how badly Chuck could react. Mako just hoped that he wouldn’t shut down on her.

+++

When Mako made her way to Chuck’s room Raleigh followed quietly behind her. The tray outside the door was empty and Mako was very pleased to see that. Raleigh, however, looked at the tray like he didn’t know what it was doing there. After a moment he seemed to understand and then Raleigh just looked sad. Mako wanted to tell him not to show Chuck any pity because it wouldn’t go over well but Chuck opened his door instead of waiting for her to let herself in. He stared at the two of them and narrowed his eyes. Mako wondered if Chuck would slam the door in their faces if her foot was in the way.

“What’s he doing here?” Chuck asked.

“She asked me to come,” Raleigh replied before Mako could. Chuck sneered and crossed his arms across his chest.

“I don’t requesting any has been’s coming to my door,” Chuck said. “Kind of surprised you didn’t run away as soon as the breach closed?” Raleigh tensed and Mako needed to get this under control before blood was spilled.

“I don’t need to stand here and take this,” Raleigh snapped. He turned to leave and Chuck scoffed.

“Go on then,” he said with a flick of his wrist and Raleigh paused. “No one wants you here.”

“Chuck that’s enough,” Mako said harshly. Raleigh turned and glared at Chuck. They were staring each other down like if they glared hard enough the other would cease to exist. 

“She deserved a better pilot than you,” Chuck said. That was apparently all the abuse that Raleigh was willing to take. Raleigh shoved Chuck back a few steps into his room. “Truth hurts, yeah?”

“You need to learn to watch your mouth Hansen,” Raleigh spit out.

“Both of you need to calm down,” Mako said as she tried to put herself between the two of them.

“Jaeger pilots are supposed to die together, didn’t they teach you that in the academy when your old ass was there?” Chuck said angrily. There was no holding them back now because Raleigh picked Chuck up by his shirt and slammed him into a wall.

“Yeah, they are, so why aren’t you down in the ocean with your Dad?” Raleigh asked. There was no stopping the punches they threw at each other. Mako wasn’t really sure what to do about them. At this rate they were going to tear each other apart. Raleigh hit Chuck hard enough that Chuck spit some blood onto the floor. One of Raleigh’s eyes was already starting to bruise. It was the sight of blood on the floor that really made Mako snap to attention. She slipped between the two brawling men. She blocked Chuck’s punch and kicked his feet out from underneath him. Before Raleigh could react she twisted one of his arms back painfully. Mako put a boot on Chuck’s chest to keep him down and twisted Raleigh’s arm.

“I said calm down,” Mako snapped. Chuck stared up at her like he couldn’t believe what had happened. Raleigh stood completely still because he knew that she could break his arm from here. “Now, are you two going to act like adults or do I need to send you to corners like children?” 

“Yes,” Raleigh said softly as Chuck nodded carefully. Mako nodded; she released Raleigh’s arm and took her boot off of Chuck’s chest. Surprisingly, Raleigh was the one to offer Chuck a hand. Once again Chuck stared at the hand like there was some sort of motive behind the gesture. Raleigh didn’t say anything; he just waited for Chuck to accept. Eventually, Chuck took Raleigh’s hand and got to his feet. 

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Raleigh said without releasing Chuck’s hand. 

“Me too,” Chuck replied. Mako figured that was the closest to an apology that she was going to get from these two. Mako placed a hand on Chuck’s back and took Raleigh by the arm as she led them down the hallway to Pentecost’s room. Raleigh seemed apprehensive but followed her through the door nevertheless. As soon as the door closed Chuck turned and stared Raleigh down.

“Does it get better?” he asked frankly. Raleigh opened his mouth as if to say something then paused.

“No, it doesn’t get better. It’s never okay because they were important to us, they were our family, but it does get easier,” Raleigh replied. Mako knew this from previous experience but it helped to hear it again. Chuck nodded and sat down on the floor. Mako and Raleigh followed and they sat in silence for a moment.

“Should have been me down there,” Chuck said softly. 

“We had no way of predicting how an EMP blast would affect a drift,” Mako said but Raleigh nodded.

“I sometimes think it should have been me instead of Yancy or both of us. Pilots are supposed to die together,” Raleigh said.

“Knifehead would have torn Alaska apart if you hadn’t finished the job,” Chuck said. “Piloting Gipsy by herself takes stones.” 

“Yeah and my brain was the consistency of baby food for a month,” Raleigh said with a smile.

“So no different than now?” Chuck said. 

“I seem to remember someone else was a little out of sorts after their first drift,” Mako said.

“I saw some things in my Dad’s head that no teenager should ever have to see thank you,” Chuck replied grimacing. 

“Imagine watching your brother have sex. It’s just as bad I can tell you that much,” Raleigh said and launched into some stories from his days at the academy with Yancy. He spoke about his brother in an easy going way that made Mako want to hug him. He was healing, she could see it, and it made her happy to see it. Chuck tried to avoid any embarrassing stories about his time in school but Mako poked him in the arm until he fessed up. The tension that was nearly palpable when they first met slowly began to ease as Chuck and Raleigh held actual conversations with each other. The bags and dark circles under Chuck’s eyes were still prominent. Mako wasn’t too worried about Raleigh and Chuck getting along but she wasn’t so sure about this part. The second time Chuck nearly drifted off Mako decided that it was best to get this done quickly. 

Chuck looked up and met her gaze like he wasn’t sure if they were going to do this tonight. Mako smiled and nodded. Chuck glanced at Raleigh and began to untie his boots. Raleigh frowned from his spot on the floor as Chuck climbed into the bed and closed his eyes. Mako kicked off her shoes and watched Raleigh as she climbed into bed with Chuck who attached himself to her like a barnacle. 

“Don’t say a word Becket,” Chuck muttered. Mako chuckled to herself because Chuck was asleep within seconds. Raleigh stood up and he was eyeing the door like he was supposed to leave. Mako leveled a stare at him and gestured to the spot on her right. It would be tight but there was enough room and all the talking about the past made a lump form in Mako’s throat that wasn’t going away anytime soon. 

“Are you sure?” Raleigh whispered.

“Yes,” Mako replied answering on behalf of herself and Chuck. Raleigh carefully climbed into the bed and did his best not to wake up Chuck. “He’s dead to the world for now.”

“So this is where you’ve been running off the past few days,” Raleigh said as he prompted himself up on his elbow.

“We used to have nightmares,” Mako explained. “They were easier to deal with if there was someone else there to help chase them away.” Chuck shifted and Mako knew that he was awake now but was pretending to be asleep. Raleigh looked down at Chuck sadly and then at her. 

“Yancy used to keep my nightmares away too,” Raleigh said. Mako ran her fingers through Chuck’s hair and tugged on the strands just enough that she was aware he was awake. It was important that Chuck heard and understood this. Chuck’s fingers twitched which made Mako smiled because he was acknowledging that bringing Raleigh in on this was a good idea. Raleigh needed help healing just as much as she and Chuck did. The pain from losing Yancy was still prominent in Raleigh’s mind and Mako intended to help him the best she could. 

Chuck eventually fell asleep and Mako felt herself starting to drift off as well. Raleigh lay down next to her and put an arm across her stomach. Mako didn’t miss the way Raleigh’s finger barely touched Chuck’s arm. She wondered if that was going to be enough to ground him. Mako looked at Raleigh and pressed their foreheads together. This was going to be good, for all of them, and Mako fell asleep with two strong arms holding onto her tight. She felt safe in the knowledge that she could fly apart right now and both of them would help keep her together. 

+++

It wasn't until Mako started to wake up that she realized waking up with Raleigh and Chuck in the same bed might be awkward for someone. There was no telling how many steps that could set them back in recovery but soft voices slowly woke her up. Mako blinked and realized she was alone in the bed. Raleigh and Chuck were on the other side of the room talking lowly to each other about Herc and Yancy. Neither of them looked like they were about to hit the other and they were both petting Max. They turned to her, as if they knew she was awake, and Raleigh smiled while Chuck nodded. It wasn't awkward and Mako's relief was palpable. 

Over the next few days Raleigh spent more and more time with them. He started coming with Mako and Chuck to their naps every day and Chuck didn't seem to mind. Mako thought it was good and she would watch them talk quietly to each other when they thought she was asleep. Mako knew what it was like to lose family but she didn't know what it was like to lose family and a co-pilot. That was something that only Raleigh could relate to and he seemed to be walking Chuck through the grieving process. By the end of the week they were all a little stir crazy from lack of anything to really do. Grief was exhausting but they were all used to running around all the time that even though that exhaustion they still had extra energy. 

"I'm about to crawl out of my skin," Chuck said one afternoon. "If one more person tells me that I need to go relax I'm going to punch them."

"Hey Chuck," Raleigh said. "I think you need to go--" The glare that Raleigh received from Chuck was soul melting but Raleigh just laughed. 

"I've already punched you once Becket don't think I won't do it again," Chuck warned. 

"Same to you, Hansen," Raleigh replied smiling. 

"We could spar," Mako suggested. Chuck and Raleigh nodded and the three of them made their way to the kwoon. Mako hadn't set foot in the kwoon since Operation: Pitfall and it made her heart feel a little heavy when she did. She remember Pentecost giving her permission to kick Raleigh's ass after he taunted both of them. Mako kicked off her shoes, picked up her hanbo, and smirked at Raleigh. Chuck sat down near the edge of the mat. 

"I wonder which of you would win best out of five," Chuck wondered idly.

"I would," Mako and Raleigh both replied at the same time. 

"Prove it," Chuck said though Mako wasn't sure who he was talking to. Mako swung her hanbo around and began to spar with Raleigh. He matched her step by step and Mako loved this. It really was like having a conversation and Mako understood every word that Raleigh said. He tried to kick his leg out to knock her off of her feet but Mako jumped and landed her first hit. "First point to the lady."

"Thanks for your input Chuck," Raleigh deadpanned but Chuck just grinned. Mako took a step back and they began their second match. Raleigh did a neat little twist and nearly threw Mako over his shoulder and onto the mat. Mako loved that Raleigh didn't hold back because she was a woman. She felt a twinge in her back but ignored it in favor of standing up. 

"Point to Becket," Chuck said. Mako swung her hanbo and they exchanged blows a few more times. "Speed up old man," Chuck called out in the middle of their match. It proved to be the perfect distraction as Mako swung her hanbo faster than Raleigh could react and stopped it mere inches from his head. "Point to Mako."

"You distracted me," Raleigh grumbled. 

"Suck it up buttercup," Chuck replied. Raleigh charged and they began to spar again. The entire world began to fade away as they fought. Mako barely heard Chuck call her victory on the next match because she charged in for the next without hesitation. Raleigh got the fourth point by swinging his hanbo upwards in a way that had he hit her he would have taken off her head. Mako swung her hanbo and began their final match. Raleigh seemed faster and their connection was just as strong as before. They were truly drift compatible in a way that made Mako feel stronger just being in Raleigh's presence. Their hanbo's clashed hard enough that Mako was half convinced they were going to snap. She ducked a well placed blow toward her head and knocked Raleigh back a few steps. He was off balance just long enough for Mako to knock him down hard and stopped her hanbo directly in front of his face. 

"I win," she said and Raleigh grinned. Mako set her hanbo aside and offered Raleigh help up which he took. She was sweating and a little sore but it was a good kind of sore. The silence of the kwoon set her on edge and she looked over to where Chuck was sitting. He was completely silence and judging by the clench in his jaw Chuck looked almost a little ill. He had trained like this with Herc and seeing two co-pilots train must have brought forward some bad memories. Mako glanced at Raleigh and he seemed to notice it as well.

"Chuck," Raleigh said and Chuck jerked like someone just slapped him. "I bet I could take you best out of five." Chuck glared like he was trying to set Raleigh on fire with his mind. 

"Don't make me laugh," Chuck said dismissively.

"Scared?" Raleigh wasn't trying to taunt Chuck in a cruel way but it made Mako laugh a little to herself how quickly that one word got Chuck out of his boots and onto the kwoon mat. 

"Maybe of her but never of you Becket," Chuck said. He stuck a hand out and Mako handed him her hanbo. Chuck barely waited for Mako to get out of the way before he turned on Raleigh like a storm. Mako raised both of her eyebrows as she watched the two of them fight. It was very different from when she spared with Raleigh where it was much more fluid. Raleigh and Chuck clashed like two titans but two well matched titans. Mako couldn't believe what she was watching; Raleigh and Chuck were drift compatible. Perhaps not as strong as her connection with Raleigh or Chuck's with Herc but there was something there. The first time Raleigh knocked Chuck down and got his point Mako wasn't sure who was more surprised. 

As they continued to spar Mako could see the harsh lines of Chuck and Raleigh's connection. She wasn't sure what an actual drift between them would be like. Chuck was a perfectionist and had excellent control while Raleigh was more spontaneous. She wasn't sure how they would work in the end. What she did know what was that four matches in Raleigh made a mistake that he shouldn't have. He took a step forward and opened up his defense that left him completely vulnerable. Chuck knocked Raleigh's hanbo from his hands and put the end of his hanbo over Raleigh's heart. Raleigh held both of his hands up in surrender. Chuck could have broken a bone with that kind of opening but instead he just knocked Raleigh off his feet. It was like Raleigh knew that Chuck wouldn't really hurt him. 

"Good match," Raleigh said. He and Chuck were practically panting as they struggled to get their breath back. 

"Yeah, good match," Chuck replied softly. He looked a little stunned; Mako knew that Chuck hadn't tested for drift compatibility with anyone else after he started to pilot with Herc. She once heard him say, right after he became Herc's co-pilot, that no one else could handle him besides his Dad. The few times she spared with Chuck in the academy it was fairly obvious that they had some sort of connection but not one as strong as the one Chuck had with his dad. In fact, as Mako remembered those matches, their fights were quite similar to the one Chuck and Raleigh just had. A connection, a strong one, but a rough and dangerous one. Pentecost warned her about revenge being an open wound and her anger. Mako wondered if Herc and Pentecost knew that her desire for revenge and Chuck's anger could be a dangerous drift. 

Chuck and Raleigh stared at each other like they couldn't believe what had just happened either. Mako wanted to get rid of the tension in the air but she had no idea how. Chuck released the hanbo and let it fall to the ground as he offered Raleigh a hand. 

"Next time I won't go easy on you," he said.

"Same goes for you kid," Raleigh replied. Chuck clasped Raleigh's hand and they grinned at each other. They slapped each other on the back like old friends but Mako didn't fail to notice that they held onto each other's hands a little longer than necessary. 

"Dinner?" she offered and they both nodded. They walked side by side toward the mess hall, Mako between Raleigh and Chuck as usual, but neither of them pulled away when she linked her arms with theirs. Instead Raleigh smiled and Chuck rolled his eyes though there was a hint of a smile on his lips. 

+++

Mako spent so much of her time trying to heal that the other things in the world escaped her. It wasn't that she didn't care but more that she had to tunnel vision focus on what she could control. The Shatterdome didn't have a Marshall and people were going to get nervous. Tendo was doing what he could but he was only a commander. Mako helped him when she could but he would just shoo her away most of the time. He knew that she was hurting and needed time so he was more than willing to take the brunt of the responsibilities. If she didn't already love Tendo like family that would have sealed the deal. So when Mako wasn't trying to help run the Shatterdome or helping Raleigh and Chuck she was worrying. It was only a matter of time before the United Nations decided that the Shatterdome needed some sort of leadership. She wasn't sure who they would try to promote if anyone and it worried her about what they could ask.

Drift technology was far from perfect and to any scientist the three remaining Jaeger pilots formed an interesting combination. Raleigh was one of two people to pilot a Jaeger by himself and come out without massive brain damage. Chuck survived an EMP blast that gave him seizures and grounded him in a way that no one had ever seen before. Mako realized that out of the three of them she could be considered the 'control group' because while she chased the RABIT she didn't have any strange reactions to the drift. The idea of becoming a lab rat made her feel more than a little sick to her stomach.

"There's no telling what they'll do now that the breach is closed," Tendo said. It was the middle of the afternoon and they were sitting outside on a break for lunch. Eight days had passed since the closing of the breach and everything was still relatively quiet. "The world doesn't have a common enemy anymore so for all we know the three of you could be become the shining weapon of your respective countries."

"Or guinea pigs for drift testing," Mako replied and Tendo hummed in agreement. "And I don't want to become a weapon for anyone, not anymore. I've spent my entire life training to be a weapon against monsters that the idea of using these skills against people makes me sick."

"Not disagreeing with you Miss. Mori." Tendo stretched and cracked his neck loudly. "You guys might have saved the world and given up everything to do so. However, the higher up always think that soldiers have more to give." Tendo rolled up his garbage and tossed it into a can like a basketball. He stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. "Mako, you and Raleigh and Chuck have given enough. Don't let a bunch of assholes in suits who hid behind walls tell you that you need to give more." Tendo turned and walked back into the Shatterdome like he hadn't just turned Mako's world upside down. The thought that she'd given enough, that she didn't owe the world anything else, hadn't even occurred to Mako.

That night Mako decided that something needed to change when it came to sleep arrangements. She was fairly sure that Chuck still wasn't sleeping on his own and that wouldn't do. She wanted him to sleep at night and get some real rest. So she went down to the dark halls of the Shatterdome and dragged an extra cot up through the hallways. It was a loud and annoying process for those around her but Mako ignored them. She was in the middle dragging a second bed when Chuck opened his door and stared at her.

"Need a hand?" he asked.

"Sure," Mako replied. Chuck walked around to the other side of the bed and together they picked up the cot to carry it down the hallway to Pentecost's room. Chuck stiffened when he saw that two beds were already pressed together and Mako walked them over so there were three. "I thought we could use more than just afternoon naps."

"Did you now?" Chuck said.

"Don't be an ass," Mako chastised. Chuck held up his hands in surrender but he looked a little amused at least. "What do you think?" She honestly wasn't sure what he was going to say to this because sleeping through the night together was a little different than just the sporadic nap here and there. She was also curious what he would say about there being three instead of just two.

"Becket will pitch a fit if we don't invite him to the slumber party too. I'll go get him." Chuck turned and walked out of the room as Mako smiled to herself. She liked that Raleigh and Chuck were getting along now. She knew once they got over their differences they would get along just fine. Mako had the three beds made by the time Chuck, Raleigh, and Max joined her. Mako went back to her room for more comfortable clothes but before long the three of them were sitting on the three beds. Mako didn't miss the way Chuck sat close enough to her that their hips touched but also how Chuck's foot touched Raleigh's as well.

Mako had done everything she could to keep Chuck and Raleigh distracted from the leadership problems because they both didn't need more burdens. Not when Raleigh looked happy again and how the tension in Chuck's shoulders was slowly fading. They had to know that it was only a matter of time before the UN descended on the Shatterdome.

"I'm sure as fuck not letting them pick my brain metaphorically or literally," Chuck snapped when Mako voiced her concerns about drift technology and where it would go from here. "Maybe if someone bribed me I'd consider drifting with you two losers but no one else." Raleigh chuckled and kicked Chuck's foot.

"They'd have to offer a lot of money to let you into my head, Hansen," Raleigh said.

"Please, I don't want anything to do with your brain damaged mind." Chuck was trying to brush this off as a joke, so was Raleigh, but Mako knew them both too well to be fooled. They were saying they wouldn't want to drift with anyone else without having to say it out loud because they were both a little stunted.

"Tendo said something that surprised me today," Mako said as both of them looked at her. "He said we've given up enough but the rest of the world won't agree." Raleigh and Chuck didn't say anything about it for the rest of the night but Mako didn't get much sleep that night. Despite the fact that the point of this experiment was to help them all sleep more Mako knew that Raleigh and Chuck didn't sleep much either.

+++

The UN descended on the Shatterdome the next day. It was Tendo that came and found her to tell her that they were on their way. There was a good chance that things were going to get bad. Mako knew that Chuck and Raleigh didn't want to separate and Mako hated the idea of losing either one of them. That meant she would have to do some fast talking if she was going to keep the status quo for at least a little longer. Raleigh and Chuck weren't stupid, they knew that something was bothering her, but Mako managed to convince them to go spar in a far off room. 

"We'll be fine," Tendo said as they waited for the UN representatives to arrive. "These people don't know anything about us."

"That's what worries me," Mako replied.

"No, it means they'll agree to things because they don't know any better. Remember, these are the same people that thought walls were a good idea. We can handle them," Tendo said. Mako often forgot that Tendo was a commander and had experience with these types of people. Mako straightened her shoulders and watched as several leaders of the world strolled into the Shatterdome like they owned it. For some reason it made Mako angry because these people had left them to fend for themselves but she pushed those feelings down. 

"Ranger Mori, it's a pleasure to finally meet you and please accept my condolences for your loss," the American representative said. He bowed politely, which Mako returned, and said hello to Tendo. She met a few more people from all over the world. They were grateful to her and what they did but they were also keenly aware that they were the reason it almost didn't happen. Tendo was right; these people had no idea what was going on.

"We're still debating what is to be done with the Shatterdome but for now it seems that you and Commander Choi have things under control," the English representative said to Mako which was a relief. "However, the world wants to know about the jaeger pilots that saved the world. The people could use the emotional stimulant. So we were thinking we could send you and Rangers Hansen and Beckett on a press tour."

"Together," Tendo said before Mako could and she could have kissed him in that moment. 

"Each Ranger will start in their respective country of origin and---" the US said.

"Together or not at all," Mako said and everyone looked at her. "We will go on a tour together and in a month's time."

"Sooner is better," the Japanese representative said. 

"The three of us are recovering still. Operation: Pitfall took a lot out of all of us for different reasons. You want us to give strength to the people and we cannot do that if we aren't strong ourselves," Mako explained and none of it was a lie. 

"Jaeger pilots always travel in pairs and we can't make Ranger Hansen travel alone so together makes sense," Tendo said because he understood. The representatives looked at each other and mumbled a few words amongst each other. Mako glanced at Tendo and he winked at her.

"In a month we will also re-evaluate the leadership in the Shatterdome," the US representative said. "From there the three of you will go on a press tour. Those are your orders." Mako and Tendo both saluted and the representatives walked out of the Shatterdome. Mako felt the tension leak out of her shoulders and she smiled at Tendo.

"Thank you," Mako said.

"Go tell Raleigh and Chuck. They know something is up," he replied. Mako nodded and went off to find the boys. She just hoped they were as relieved as she was that they had a month to heal and they didn't have to separate.

It didn’t take long to find Chuck and Raleigh. She told them to go train in a room far away from everyone else. Neither of them looked very impressed when Mako told them to go away but they went anyway. Tendo was right; they knew that something was going on but they didn’t confront her about it. That actually made Mako feel a confident. It meant that despite the fact that they knew that something was wrong they trusted her enough to not confront her about. That made Mako pause in the hallway as she made her way down the hall. She knew that Raleigh trusted her but the fact that Chuck didn’t say anything was surprising. 

Mako opened the door and found Chuck and Raleigh sparing like she told them to. They weren’t using hanbo’s like she thought they would be they were practicing hand to hand. It looked like the fight they had in the hallway after her and Raleigh’s failed drift but with less bloodshed. Raleigh countered each of Chuck’s attacks effortlessly but Chuck was relentless. 

“Come on, is that the best you have, Charlie boy?” Raleigh asked. 

“I don’t need your washed up bum judging me Ray,” Chuck snapped. The words were sharp but they were both smirking so Mako knew that they didn’t really mean it. Raleigh swept out a leg to take Chuck off of his feet. That move would have sent Chuck onto his back before but now Chuck dodged it easily. Mako was so distracted watching them fight that she didn’t even notice that they had stopped and were watching her silently. “You going to come clean about what’s going on, Mori?” Her first instinct was to deny that anything was going on but Mako knew it was time to be honest with them. 

“I just came from a meeting with the UN,” Mako replied. 

“And you didn’t think it was a good idea for us to be there?” Chuck asked.

“Me maybe but not you,” Raleigh mumbled and Chuck glared at him. Raleigh held up his hands in surrender and took a step back but he was smiling. “Would you have kept your opinions on the wall to yourself?” Chuck narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything which was an answer to itself. 

“They want us to go on a press tour,” Mako said. Raleigh and Chuck both tensed in a way that broke Mako’s heart a little. They both knew they weren’t ready to go out there and they assumed what she did as well; that they would be separated. “Tendo and I managed to convince them to give us another month to recover and then we’re going on a press tour together.” 

“You and Tendo managed to convince the leaders of the world to not only give us four more weeks to heal but you also managed to tell them that the three of us had to travel together,” Raleigh said. He looked like he was a strange combination of relieved and impressed. Chuck raised an eyebrow but he smiled just a little. Mako knew how relieved he really was that he wasn’t going to have to travel alone with probing reporters asking about how he was dealing with the fact that Herc was dead and if he was okay with the fact that he didn’t go on the final run. Mako had a feeling she was going to end up punching the first reporter that asked Chuck about his Dad or Raleigh about Yancy. 

“Another month it is then,” Chuck said and he turned his attention back to Raleigh. “Maybe by then you’ll be a little less useless.” From there the two of them began to exchange verbal barbs until Mako put herself between the two of them and managed to pin both men at the same time in just a few moves. They both grinned like idiots at her and Mako couldn’t help herself; she grinned back. 

+++

Mako knew two minutes into their lunch that something was wrong with Chuck. He was doing a strange combination of glaring at everything like it personally offended him and moping. Chuck usually had some sort of retort to almost everything but this time he didn’t say anything to anyone. He didn’t even react when Max tugged on his pant leg to beg for food. Raleigh glanced at Mako and called Max over for some food. Mako nudged his ankle with her boot and he just glared but didn’t say anything. There were a few ways of asking Chuck what was bothering him but she wasn’t sure which one was the best way. Raleigh, it seemed, was not as worried about his delicate nature as she was.

“What’s bothering you, Hansen?” Raleigh asked. 

“I’m fine,” Chuck said. His expression gave away nothing which was all the indication that Mako needed that something was very wrong. She knew how to reach Chuck better than anyone else besides maybe Raleigh.

“That’s funny because I don’t believe you,” Raleigh said and he knocked his shoulder against Chuck’s. “What’s bothering you?”

“I’m going to tell the UN that I shouldn’t be on the press tour with you two,” Chuck said softly. “I mean, this is a victory tour, and you two were the ones that actually did the run at the breach. I stayed behind because my head was too fucked up so why should I go?”

“Don’t you ever say that again,” Mako snapped. Raleigh and Chuck both looked at her with wide eyes like they never expected her to take that tone with them. “You’re a pilot just as much as Raleigh and I. Just because you weren’t there at the end does not invalidate every other time you stepped into a jaeger and risked your life for innocent people.”

“You deserve to be there more than I do,” Raleigh said. “You’ve been here since you joined the program. You didn’t run away like I did.”

“If what happened to you happened to me I would have run too,” Chuck said without a seconds hesitation. Raleigh jerked like someone just slapped him and Mako had to stop herself from letting her jaw drop. That was a level of weakness that she never thought she would see Chuck Hansen admit. 

“We all deserve to be there,” Mako said as Raleigh nodded. “We’re jaeger pilots, the last jaeger pilots, and if the world wants to see any of us they have to see all of us.”

“Yeah, we’re all that’s left, so we have to stick together,” Raleigh said. “Face it Hansen; you’re stuck with us.” Chuck went a little pale and Raleigh went back to his food like he didn’t just throw Chuck off of his entire game. Mako reached forward and took Chuck’s hand in hers. He didn’t say anything but he also didn’t pull away when she squeezed his fingers. Max barked and Chuck pulled his hand away to give Max some attention. Mako smiled to herself as she watched the two of them and when she looked up Raleigh was smiling at her as well. Mako knew that this wasn’t going to be the first time they were going to hear Chuck voice his insecurities. He hated that he wasn’t down there with the rest of them even if it meant that he would be dead right now. Mako refused to let Chuck believe any of it and when she met Raleigh’s gaze across the table she knew he felt the same way. They would do whatever they had to to convince Chuck that he was just as much the hero as they were in the eyes of the public.

+++

Mako decided that Chuck needed to blow off some steam that afternoon. It was fairly obvious that there was something bothering him and there was really only one way to get Chuck to calm down. Raleigh had a few more things to take care of so Mako took Chuck by the arm and dragged him down to the kwoon. Chuck sputtered out a few arguments but didn't actually try to fight her too much. It was like he knew that he should just accept his fate and move on. That was fine as far as Mako was concerned because verbal fighting wasn't the type of fighting she knew he needed. She found an empty room and quickly locked the door behind them. 

"What are you doing, Mako?" Chuck asked.

"We're going to work out your anger," Mako replied. Chuck crossed his arms and raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "You're angry and you need to get it out of your system."

"Of course I'm angry," he snapped. "That doesn't mean it's a bad thing. I think I have every right to be angry considering the circumstances."

"Of course you do," Mako said. "However, you also need to work on expressing yourself more when it comes to these types of feelings. We both know you need to work on that." Mako untied her boots and kicked them off. She took off her shirt so she was in her tank top and tried to ignore Chuck's eyes watching her every move. It wasn't uncomfortable that he was watching her like that but it did make her feel different in a way that she wasn't quite willing to examine yet. Chuck didn't say anything but he did heave a sigh like she was the worst thing in the universe and when Mako turned around Chuck was taking off his boots and tossing his jacket off to the side. 

"Fine but we don't have any hanbo's," Chuck said.

"I know. We're not going to use them. I want to see if you can hit me," Mako said. "And if you try to tell me that you 'won't hit a girl' then I'm not going to hold back." 

"I wouldn't dream of it," Chuck said and he grinned. Mako smiled back and walked calm toward each other. As soon as Chuck threw the first punch Mako remembered training with him when they were children. They were always fighting each other and most of the academy thought they hated each other. The truth was so far from that it made both of them laugh. They still had nightmares at that point and would stay together when they could. Mako, for some reason, thought of the night after they announced they were going to consider Chuck for early graduation. He was a nervous wreck about the entire thing, she could tell, and he let her into his room without another word. 

"Is that a bottle of whiskey?" Mako asked. They were fifteen and they weren't supposed to have any alcohol in case it messed up any drift simulations. 

"Yeah, I stole it from my Dad's bunk," Chuck replied. Herc and Scott Hansen were currently visiting the immediate area for 'unspecified reasons' that no one was talking about. Mako knew that Chuck was worried about that too but would never admit it. "I can't decide if I want to drink it or not though. I don't think I'll be able to sleep even if I do." 

"Are you really that nervous?" Mako asked as they both sat down on the small bed. Max was in the corner and he grunted at her when he saw her. Mako smiled at the dog as Chuck tried to make himself look smaller. To everyone else in the academy Chuck was a cocky asshole and Mako knew that she was probably the only one he would let see these nerves. 

"Yeah. I just don't want to have them turn around and tell me I'm not good enough," Chuck said. He picked up the bottle and opened it. Chuck took a long pull and handed it to Mako. She wasn't too fond of whiskey but she took a drink anyway. The whiskey warmed her stomach and was high enough quality that it didn't taste bad. She handed it back to Chuck because they were no way he was going to sleep without some help tonight. The least she could do was keep him company.

"You're the best in the academy Chuck. No one has scores like you. We need active pilots out there, you know that, so why not get you out there?" Mako said and Chuck took another pull of the whiskey. He shrugged and they continued to pass the bottle back and forth. Mako wasn't entirely sure how many times they each took drinks from the bottle but somewhere along the way the entire world started to get fuzzy along the edges. Chuck started laughing about something and when he handed her the bottle Mako was surprised to find that it was half empty. 

"Fuck," Chuck said as he fell back onto the bed. "I got you drunk. I can't believe I got the daughter of one of the most decorated Marshall's in the PPDC drunk. They're going to expel me."

"Oh stop," Mako replied and gave herself bonus points for not slurring her response. She lay down next to him so they were side by side. "You know I'd never let that happen. Besides, I need you around."

"Yeah?" Chuck rolled onto his side and Mako did the same so they were looking at each other. "Why do you need me around?"

"I'll need a co-pilot someday," Mako said. Chuck blinked like he was surprised that she would say that. Mako couldn't figure out why but she was sincerely distracted by Chuck's eyes for the first time ever. She never remembered them being such a beautiful shade of green. Mako had never been drunk before so she thought maybe this had something to do with that but Chuck had always been one of the most handsome people she had never known. He was always willing to do whatever it took to get the job done and was willing to risk everything to do it. If there was anyone she could see leading the final charge against the Kaiju it was Chuck. 

Mako wasn't sure when it happened because everything was a little fuzzy from the whiskey but before she could think about it too much she leaned forward and kissed Chuck. For half a second Mako was sure that she had made some sort of horrible mistake. Chuck tensed up and didn't respond to her at first. She was about to pull away and apologize because even now she wasn't entirely sure where this was coming from. Instead Chuck responded to her, kissed her back even, and then everything changed. 

For years Mako wondered if this was where they were going to end up eventually. The way her and Chuck had always moved around each other suggested they were a lot closer than either of them were willing to admit. Mako wasn't sure why that was the case and it was probably the whiskey talking that made this seem like a good idea. Chuck parted his lips and suddenly the kiss that was once dry and a little innocent was a lot wetter. Chuck wrapped his arms around her and their bodies were touching at every point. 

Mako broke the kiss to push Chuck onto his back and throw her leg over his waist. She looked down at him, lovely and a little broken Chuck, as he stared at her with wide eyes. It looked like he was about to say something but Mako didn't want to ruin this moment. She leaned forward and sealed their lips together. Chuck threaded his long fingers through her hair and Mako let her hands slip under his t-shirt so she could touch skin. This was important, this was going somewhere, and Mako ignored the way her hands trembled when she touched her best friend. 

"Chuck!" a voice from outside the door said. Chuck jerked away from her like someone just shot him and looked at the door with wide eyes. "Chuck, are you in there?" Mako recognized that voice as Scott Hansen and was about to tell him to go away when Chuck placed a finger against her lips and shook his head. Mako didn't understand but Chuck wasn't looking at her; he was staring at the door. "I know you're in there you little shit. You wouldn't be anywhere else. We both know that or did you finally grow a set of balls and get with that Mori girl? We both also know you're never going to be man enough to make that shit happen." There was a slur to Scott Hansen's words that Mako knew all too well and immediately she knew that he was very drunk. Max sat up in his bed and patted over to the bed. He didn't bark; instead he buried himself in the bed and put his paws over his head like he was going to protect himself from something. 

"I hope you and your piece of shit Dad are happy. You got what you wanted, they kicked me out, no doubt so they could let your ass in," Scott slurred. "You think you're good enough to be a pilot? You think you're good enough to roll with the big guy?" A slam against the door made both of them jump as Scott slammed his fist against the door. Mako wanted to say something, tell Ranger Hansen to go away and leave them alone, but Chuck shook his head. Chuck didn't even want his uncle to know he was in the room. At their feet Max whined softly. "Your Dad and I were the best and no matter what you do you're going to be in our shadow. You're just some kid playing pretend in this fight. We don't need kids like you. You don't deserve anything that's coming for you." There was a long pause and for a moment Mako thought that Scott had moved on. 

"Your dad shouldn't have saved you. He should have saved your mom. She would have helped in this fight a lot more than you will." Outside the door Mako heard a bottle break and Scott's voice began to fade. When it was gone, when she couldn't hear him anymore, Chuck removed his finger from her lips. Mako looked down and saw a man she didn't see often. Chuck would shut down in front of a lot of people but he never cut her out completely. When she looked down at him she saw the mask that Chuck often wore to keep everyone away. 

"Chuck," she whispered. Mako wanted to tell him that none of it was true, that Scott sounded drunk and angry, but Chuck wouldn't hear any of it. He eased out from underneath her and carried the bottle into the tiny bathroom attached to his bunk. Mako sat on the bed as she heard the sink run and tried to think of something, anything, to say. She reached over and scratched Max behind the ears and stood up. Chuck was leaning over the sink and breathing heavily. He took a long pull from the whiskey bottle, looked at it in disgust, and poured the rest down the sink. He splashed some water on his face and barely acknowledged her as he sat back down in his bed. Mako tried to think of something, anything, to say that would help Chuck right now but there wasn't. Mako walked over and tilted Chuck's head up so she could look at him. Neither of them said anything and Mako felt considerably more sober than she did ten minutes ago. She still leaned down and kissed Chuck softly. Neither of them said anything as they climbed into bed together and if she held onto Chuck a little tighter than usual then there wasn't anyone around to see. 

Mako kicked her foot out and pinned Chuck to the mat. He blinked at her like he couldn't believe she got the best of him and Mako remembered that night. The next day they announced Chuck's early graduation and that he would pilot with Herc. Mako expected her own graduation to follow not long after and she would be a pilot soon yet it never came. She saw less and less of Chuck and began to even resent him a little for having what she couldn't. It caused a rift and she hated that they had lost time together because her pride was hurt. 

"I'm sorry," Mako said suddenly. 

"For what? You kicked my ass as usual," Chuck replied. 

"I resented you," Mako continued. "I resented you for being a pilot when I wasn't and I'm sorry for hating you a little for it. It was the end of days and I shouldn't have caused a rift between us. I'm sorry." Chuck stared at her with wide eyes like this was the last thing he was expecting. 

"I'm sorry too," he said softly. "I didn't exactly make it easy with my attitude. I should have done better."

"We should have," Mako corrected. She still had him pinned down on the mat and they were staring at each other. Mako wondered if Chuck was thinking of that night as well, if he ever thought of it, but she didn't have the chance to ask. The door swung up and one of Striker's tech began to sputter out reponses when he saw the two of them. Mako moved off of Chuck and offered him a hand up. He took it and squeezed her fingers before he went to join the tech. Mako wasn't sure what the gesture meant but it felt like progress. 

+++

Mako wasn't sure how it snuck up on her but somewhere along the line she forgot that she had her own grief to deal with. She was so busy trying to keep Chuck and Raleigh from falling apart that she managed to block out all of the terrible things that she had gone through. It hit her like a freight train out of nowhere one day while she was walking down the hallway. It felt like someone just kicked her in the stomach and Mako had to lean against the wall to keep from falling over. She thought about how she lost her family and then she lost Pentecost as well. The man that saved her, the man that took her in, was gone and she felt an overwhelming sense of failure. He asked her to protect him and she failed, she failed to protect him, and that was enough to make her feel sick.

Mako slid down to the floor and hugged her legs to try and get her breathing under control. She couldn't let anyone see her like this. Not when she was trying so hard to show everyone how to grieve and be strong. There were too many people depending on her to let this pain show. 

"Mako?" She looked up and saw Raleigh standing at the end of the hallway. He didn't have any reason to be in this part of the Shatterdome yet there he was standing there like some sort of savior. 

"I'm fine," she said quickly. Mako scrambled to her feet and tried to push away the tears that she didn't realize were falling. Raleigh was at her side in seconds and had an arm around her shoulder. 

"You've been so busy taking care of us that you haven't taken care of yourself," he whispered. Mako closed her eyes and tried to will him to go away so she could have her peace. So she could get this out of her system and go back to helping those that needed it far more than she did. "Mako, you need to let yourself grieve."

"But what about--"

"Don't worry about anyone else," Raleigh said cutting her off. Mako didn't even realize that they were walking down the hallway toward their room. Raleigh was guiding her like she couldn't get there on her own. They were about to go into the room when Chuck came around the corner and their gazes locked. Mako panicked; Raleigh was more than a little broken from Yancy and the final battle but Chuck was the one that needed her to be strong. She looked away from him as if she could hide that she was hurting. Raleigh opened the door and lead them in. When Mako turned to close it behind them Chuck stuck in foot in the way and nearly glared at her. He almost looked hurt like he couldn't believe that she was trying to keep this from him. 

"You don't need to do everything by yourself," Chuck said. He pushed his way into the room without waiting for Mako or Raleigh to invite him in. Any protests she had got caught in her throat when Raleigh unbuttoned her overshirt and tossed it to the side as Chuck knelt down and untied her boots. Chuck helped her step out of them as Raleigh pulled her down to the bed. Raleigh wrapped her into his strong arms and within seconds Chuck was at her back as he held her as well. It was like they were two strong walls protecting her from both sides. It was like they were giving her permission to fly apart because they were both there to keep her together. Mako buried her face in Raleigh's soft sweater and, for the first time since Pitfall, let herself cry. 

She nearly jumped when Raleigh began to hum a Japanese lullaby that her mother used to sing to her and that Pentecost learned when she moved in with him. Mako knew he must have seen it in her memories but it still took her by surprise. Raleigh didn't stop though and Chuck rubbed one of her shoulders gently. They were protecting her the only way they knew how. Mako had never felt closer to these two men than she did in that moment. It made her smile through her tears as she let Raleigh's humming lure her into sleep. 

+++

Mako woke up slowly to someone talking. She cracked an eye open but made sure that she kept her breathing even. For some reason it felt like she had to convince whoever was around her that she was still sleeping. Raleigh and Chuck weren't on the bed with her anymore and she was able to see them on the far side of the room. They were sitting together with Max and talking very softly. 

"I told you to keep it down Becket," Chuck whispered.

"Mako is a light sleeper yeah I know," Raleigh said quietly. "I've been in her head so I know these things too." Chuck glared and rolled his eyes as he scratched Max behind the ears. Much to Mako's surprise they began to make small talk. They talked about piloting and what it was like to drift with other people. They talked about the academy and told stories about the various bits of trouble they both got into. If Mako didn't know any better she'd say they were talking like they actually liked each other. She always knew that Chuck and Raleigh had the potential to be friends but she figured it would take a lot more time before that happened. Mako had been planning on introducing aspects of friendship to both of them at a very slow pace yet here they were conversing like it was no big deal. Like they hadn't beaten each other a few weeks earlier. 

"Mako is going to be all right," Raleigh said after a lull in their conversation.

"Of course she is," Chuck replied scoffing. "She's more put together than us that's for damn sure." Raleigh smiled and when Chuck looked up from Max he was smiling too. Mako closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep. There wasn't anything to worry about when it came to Chuck and Raleigh. The two of them were going to be fine and somewhere, deep down, Mako knew she was going to be as well. 

+++

Over the next few weeks Mako let herself grieve the Marshall and everyone else that she lost in her life. It was during that time that she also realized what she had gained. There were so many people around her that cared about her and her well being that it surprised her sometimes. It wasn't a bad thing but it made Mako smile. It was Raleigh and Chuck that she was the most thankful for. There were times that she felt like the entire world was going to cave in on her and one, or both, of them would appear and just like that she felt a little bit better about the state of the world around her. That was enough these days and it made Mako smile more then she cried. Once again she was blindsided by how much she needed both of these men in her life. It wasn't until Tendo mentioned everyone going their separate ways once the tour was over that Mako realized the thought of losing either of them wasn't something she wanted to cope with. 

Somewhere along the line Chuck and Raleigh became the two pieces that helped her feel stable in this world. That was a frightening thought and Mako wondered if they felt the same way about each other or her. It was early in the morning and she was watching Raleigh and Chuck spar in the kwoon that she noticed the way they moved around each other. She noticed her easy it was between them now and how much they both smiled at each other. They were doing so much better these days and the improvements were noticeable by anyone. Mako cared for them both deeply and she just knew that they cared about each other as much as they cared about her. 

The realization that she might be attracted to them also took Mako by surprise just a little. She guessed that a small part of her had been in lust, at the very least, with Chuck Hansen since she was a teenager. Raleigh felt like her soulmate, the missing piece, and Chuck was the glue that kept them all together. She wasn't sure what to do now though. Mako could never chose between them and she greedily wanted them both all to herself. There was no easy to initiate this and before she could think of a way to break this ice the day to leave on the press tour rolled around.

Mako put it all in the back of her mind for now; the press tour was going to be hard on all of them and she needed to focus on more important things.


	2. Chuck

The early morning runs were the only part of waking up early that Chuck enjoyed. The rest of the Shatterdome was still asleep and he had no one else to worry about when it came to someone needing something from him. Chuck often told those people to go away because he didn't know what they were supposed to do. Yes, Herc was his Dad and next in line to be Marshall, but that didn't mean that Chuck knew anything about it. If anything it was the complete opposite; Chuck could tell someone everything they wanted to know about his Dad but any scenario that began with 'what would Herc do?' Chuck was completely clueless. He didn't want to talk about his Dad with anyone besides Mako and Raleigh these days and even then the moments where he said anything of substance were few and far between. 

Chuck leaned forward and rested his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. The first day that Mako dragged him into a shared bed like when they were kids Chuck hated himself. He hated her a little when she dragged Raleigh into the mix but even Chuck had to begrudgingly admit that it was a good thing. There were some things, mostly about Drifting with a family member, that only Raleigh could understand. Mako understood what it was like to lose family but Raleigh understood what it was like to lose a co-pilot. So he and Raleigh became friends much to Chuck's dismay. Now they were a day away from going on the whirlwind press tour that Chuck wanted nothing to do with.

He wasn't there during Operation: Pitfall, he had nothing to do with saving the world, but Mako and Raleigh insisted that he be there with them. He was helpless against them just as much as he was helpless against Max. He tried to take Max on his runs but Max looked up from his comfortable place on the shared bed and went back to sleep. Chuck straightened and began to make his way back toward his own room. He needed a shower and some clean clothes and maybe by then Mako and Raleigh would be awake. Chuck hated to admit that they all seemed to sleep longer and with fewer nightmares since they all started going into the giant cuddle puddles. There was no point in denying it anymore so Chuck just accepted this new form of co-dependence and decided to just run with it. The PPDC would save some money on this tour if they only needed to book one room with a king size bed even if they wouldn't enjoy the implications. 

Chuck straightened and rolled his shoulders. As far as he was concerned they could deal with it. They were making them go on this tour so they weren't going to tell him where he could and could not sleep. 

Chuck stopped when he saw someone standing in front of his door. It wasn't anyone he recognized though and he thought he knew everyone in the Shatterdome by now. He supposed there was always a chance that he didn't know the other crews completely or this was someone who worked on older jaegers. 

"Can I help you?" Chuck asked and the young man turned around. 

"Oh, hello Ranger Hansen," he said. "Someone sent you and Ranger Becket and Ranger Mori fan letters." There were three envelopes in his hands. "Maybe someone was trying to say 'thank you' and didn't want to go through the normal channels."

"I didn't even know people still wrote letters by hand," Chuck replied as he took the letter. "You can give me the other two. I'll bring them to Mako and Raleigh." The delivery boy looked a little nervous by this like he wasn't sure it was the best idea. "If you give them to me the letters will get to them faster." 

"Okay, thank you sir," the delivery boy said with a tight smile. He handed the two letters to Chuck and turned to walk down the hallway quickly. Chuck watched him go and raised an eyebrow. The kid was certainly in a rush. Maybe there were other things he needed to drop off. Chuck opened his door and walked into his room. He wasn't ready to close it just yet though and he dropped Mako and Raleigh's letters on the table. The envelope was sealed tight with tape and it took a little bit of effort to get it to open but Chuck finally got the single piece of paper in hand and began to read. 

Mr. Hansen,  
You ruined everything. You took away our retribution and you got in the way of God's work. God's chosen people aren't pleased with this and God will see you punished for your crimes. 

This isn't a fan letter, Chuck thought. He was about to set it aside and make the mental note to take it to the UN so they could deal with the threats when his hands spasmed. Chuck looked at his hands and saw that there was something grainy on his hands. The first cough rattled his lungs and Chuck was having a hard time getting his breath back. Someone put some sort of poison on the paper and now it was in the air. Chuck tried to walk toward the door but he stumbled. He was coughing so hard now he could hardly catch a breath. There was no chance he could get all the way to the door but he couldn't let this spread. Chuck turned and managed to kick the door closed. Now at least it couldn't infect the entire Shatterdome or someone that came to see him like Raleigh or Mako. 

Chuck crawled across his floor toward the console on the wall. He stopped to throw up all of the water he drank on his run and Chuck could feel sweat running down his back. His hands were shaking so bad when he managed to hit the biological contamination alarm. A series of alarms went off and a voice in Chinese instructed everyone to put on their masks. It was a little too late for that. 

"Chuck?" a voice said over the intercom and vaguely he recognized Tendo. "Why did you hit the alarm? Is everything okay?"

"Don't let anyone else in without protection," Chuck managed to say as he rolled onto his back. There was nothing left in his stomach to throw up and he couldn't catch a breath. 

"Chuck!" Tendo sounded worried. "Chuck, you have to stay awake. What happened? We have a unit on the way but you have to stay awake."

"The letters," Chuck said though he wasn't entirely sure it was out loud. The world was beginning to go dark around the edges and the coughs were too much. He felt like he was drowning and couldn't catch a breath. Tendo was still yelling at him, asking about what letters, but Chuck couldn't keep his eyes open. Everything seemed very far away and all Chuck could think about was that he should have known better. He should have figured out that there could be retaliation. He should have remembered that not everyone would consider the breach being closed saving the world. Chuck just hoped that they got rid of the letters so Mako and Raleigh wouldn't get hurt. In the end that was all he really cared about. 

He let the darkness overcome him just as Chuck heard someone banging on his door. 

+++

Chuck didn't remember much after that. There were a few flashes of things happening here and there. Someone turning him on his side because it made it a little easier to breath. A sharp pierce on his back that he guessed was someone draining fluid from his lungs. There were flashes of hot water and steam which could only be someone washing him down. When Chuck took his first deep breath free from any hindrances he knew he was out of the woods for now. That was enough that he could stop fighting the darkness and actually get some rest. The dreams though, they were worse than normal, and Chuck wished he could force himself to wake up. The dreams brought him back to Sydney and the day his mother died. He remembered watching the nuclear bomb go off from a safe distance and feeling this pinching in his stomach that a part of him had died. 

Chuck had a new nightmare though. If anyone asked Chuck back in the day of the Jaeger program what his plans for the future were Chuck would duck away from the question. There was enough going on that no one ever noticed that he didn't have an answer. The truth was that Chuck didn't bother to think of the future because he was sure that he didn't have one. There was no way he was going to walk away from the program intact. Until his seizure Chuck was sure he was going to die at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean with the rest of them. He dreamed that it was him that died on the bottom of the ocean, that it was him and Pentecost that cleared the path, and there was a feeling of peace before that white hot blaze took him. If he was going to die then dying with Pentecost in his head, a man who was probably zen until the very end, wouldn't be so bad. 

They were vivid and horrible and the best feeling in the world. Chuck almost didn't want to fight the dreams anymore. If he was the one that died then he would have left his father, Max, Mako, even Raleigh, behind but he'd have saved the world. Chuck was willing to die to make a better world for everyone else. Instead he was the one left behind and sometimes he wondered if this wasn't some sort of hazy dream brought on by his seizure. There was no way he was living a semi normal life and spending his time surrounded by two of the most gorgeous people he had ever known. 

Chuck knew that he and Mako had always been close. It had been that way since the first time she crawled into bed with him when they were kids to chase away the nightmares. She was his closest friend growing up and if there was one thing he was grateful for in being left behind it was that they were able to reconnect. Raleigh was a different matter. Chuck remembered the day Raleigh Becket walked away from the program and how much he hated him. It wasn't until now that he was really able to understand what it meant to lose a co-pilot. Mako understood what it was like to lose family but Raleigh was the only one who understood what it meant to lose a co-pilot. Raleigh understood what it was like to lose a piece of yourself. 

There were voices around him and Chuck recognized them as Mako, Raleigh, and a few of the Shatterdome doctors. Someone was also holding one of his hands, their fingers intertwined, which was a strange feeling. It was distracting enough that Mako and Raleigh were both beautiful on a level that made them nearly unreal and sharing a bed was bad enough they didn't need to do anything intimate. If Chuck was honest with himself, which he rarely was, he thought there was something between them. Whether it was the way Mako smiled at him or the look Raleigh got in his eye when he managed to pin Chuck to the mat in the kwoon. There was something there but Raleigh and Mako were soulmates, two halves of a whole, and he wasn't about to get in the way of something like that. 

"Why is it always me in the hospital?" Chuck mumbled before he was even fully awake. It took some effort to get his eyes to open and a few more seconds for the world to come back into focus. Mako was at his bedside, her hand in his, and Raleigh was next to her. 

"I guess you're just lucky," Raleigh replied. 

"Luck, sure, we'll go with luck," Chuck said. "What happened?" 

"The letters we got were laced with a poison. It caused your lungs to fill up with liquid and you nearly drowned," Mako said and she squeezed his hand a little tighter to the point where it hurt. 

"Okay, Mako, I need my hand, why are you breaking it?" Chuck said as he tried to get his hand away from her but Mako glared. He sighed and let her break his fingers. "You're angry at me for some reason."

"Yes," Mako snapped. "You locked yourself in your room with the toxin so they had to nearly break the door down to get to you. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking the first people who would stomp into my room without protection would be you two and I wasn't going to let you get doused too," Chuck said and then forced himself to shut up because that was revealing a bit too much. Mako and Raleigh blinked at the same time, which was a little disconcerting, and then looked at each other. Mako released her death grip on his hand and Chuck managed to free himself so he could flex his fingers. Mako was a lot stronger than people took her for. Raleigh opened his mouth to say something when the door burst open and Tendo walked in. 

"The son of a bitch managed to avoid getting caught on all the cameras," he announced loudly. "Good to see you're up and about baby Hansen."

"Don't call me that," Chuck said venomously but Tendo, the asshole, just looked amused. 

"Has anyone claimed responsibility?" Raleigh asked. 

"Not yet but it could be any of the Kaiju religions that have sprung up in the last decade. BuenaKai is probably the best bet but we have no way of knowing for sure. For all we know none of them are going to claim responsibility. I don't think saying that you tried to kill the saviors of mankind would go over well." Tendo crossed his arms and frowned deeply. "Can you tell me anything about the kid?"

"Just that in retrospect it was odd that he was so hesitant to hand over Mako and Raleigh's letters." Chuck let his head fall back on the pillows and tried to think of anything that could help but nothing came. The kid looked totally ordinary. 

"Chuck should get more sleep," Mako said. He was about to argue until Mako glared him into submission. Tendo hadn't closed the door behind him and from down the hall Chuck heard several people yelling about something. He was about to ask what was going on when Max barreled into the room going mac-5. Raleigh laughed as he picked up Max and set him down the bed. Outside the door Chuck heard someone that sounded like Newt sputtering out apologies and swear words.

"You let Geiszler take care of my dog?" Chuck said. 

"We needed to be here and they wouldn't let him in," Raleigh replied like the answer was that simple. Tendo, however, couldn't have looked more smug. It was like he knew something that the rest of them didn't. Chuck was about to push him for answers when Mako began to herd people out of the room. 

"I'm glad you're okay," she whispered and kissed his forehead. It reminded Chuck so suddenly of his mother that he had to close his eyes and he didn't open them until he heard a door close. Chuck looked down at Max who was already asleep near his feet and sighed. 

+++

They kept Chuck in medical for two more days before they let him out. He was going to argue it until he had a really bad coughing fit and they had to drain some more liquid from his lungs. That was enough to make him sit still for another day or so. By the time he was released he realized that the three of them were supposed to be halfway around the world for their press tour and yet there they were. Mako mentioned that she managed to sway the UN into letting them stay together but Chuck was sure they were going to make Raleigh and Mako leave without him. He was looking forward to it; then he could argue how he didn't deserve to be there in peace. It was after one good meal that Tendo pulled the three of them into the LOCCENT and they saluted a group of floating heads. 

"Ranger Hansen, we're glad to see that you're doing better," one of the representatives said. He sounded American and Chuck wanted to make a comment but Raleigh stepped on his foot before he could open his mouth. 

"Much better sir," Chuck said. 

"The flight for the first press location leaves in the morning since you're all fit to fly," the representative from Australia said. Chuck raised an eyebrow; that didn't make any sense. 

"There was an attempt on our lives. Chuck nearly died from it and if he hadn't taken the letters intended for Raleigh and I we would have been right there in medical with him," Mako said slowly, dangerously, and Chuck wanted to take two steps away from her. "We have no leads and no one has claimed responsibility and you want to send us out there?"

"Every country you will be visiting has promised to give all three of you thorough protection--" one of the heads began.

"Like how we're safe in the Shatterdome?" Raleigh interrupted. 

"You'd do well not to interrupt us, Ranger Becket," the American said and Chuck could hear Raleigh grinding his teeth together. "We can't just hide in case there is another incident. Not when we don't have any leads and nothing to go on. The press tour is important. When the war was going on people didn't notice how bad everything was. Now that the threat of the Kaiju is gone a lot of people are realizing just how terrible everything is. We need the three of you to go out there and remind everyone that we won even if the cost was great."

"So now we're supposed to push propaganda?" Chuck asked. 

"No, Ranger Hansen, you're pushing hope," another face on a monitor said. 

"We've been very understanding of this situation," the American said. "We let the three of you stay together because Ranger Mori thought it was the best idea. We let you take the time to recover. Now you have your orders and you will follow them." 

"Is that clear?" the Japanese representative asked.

"Yes sir," all three of them said with a salute. Chuck bit down on his tongue hard enough to draw blood but managed to keep his mouth shut until all of the heads were gone and they were alone. 

"Bunch of fucking idiots," he said. "Are they going to give us pre-written speeches to give too?" 

"It wouldn't surprise me," Raleigh said. "They always were about pushing a united front and ignoring the fact that half the world was starving and out of money. We're a distraction."

"They know people aren't happy right now," Mako said. "The last thing the people want is to see us parading around and reminding them of everything they've lost." None of them were happy about this but there wasn't much they could do about it either. They were soldiers and they had their orders. It wasn't like they had a Marshall around that could fight for them. If they were going to fight they would have to fight for themselves. The last three Rangers and no one left to lead them. 

"How did it go?" Tendo asked as he walked back into the LOCCENT. 

"We leave in the morning," Mako said.

"Not smart," Tendo said shaking his head. "What if there's another attempt on your lives?"

"We've been assured that we're going to be safe," Raleigh said sarcastically. They stood in silence as it dawned on Chuck that the Shatterdome wouldn't be here when they were done with the tour. It was already in the middle of being shut down but everyone would have gone their separate ways by the time the tour ended. "We should all do something tonight." Raleigh said like he was reading Chuck's mind. 

"Newt and Hermannn have been going over a crate of booze that someone sent us with a fine tooth comb to make sure that it's safe but they should be done by now," Tendo said and he threw an arm around Raleigh's shoulders. "I say we drink until we can't feel feelings."

"Yes," Mako agreed which kind of surprised Chuck. Of all people to agree to binge drinking Mako was one he expected to be the voice of reason.

"Sounds good to me," Raleigh agreed and they all looked at him as if waiting, or daring him, to disagree. 

"Sounds like a plan," Chuck said which was how he spent the night in the LOCCENT with Raleigh, Mako, Newt, Tendo, and Hermannn drinking what appeared to be some local Chinese beer and saki. A few different members of the various jaeger crews came in and out of the room but in general it was just the six of them. Newt was talking at about five hundred miles a minute and Chuck wondered if anyone had given him a brain scan since he drifted with a Kaiju twice. If getting knocked out of the drift gave him seizures then there was no telling what kind of side effects could come from drifting with a Kaiju. 

"You're staring at Geiszler," Raleigh said and Chuck blinked. 

"Has anyone done any tests on him since we prevented the end of the world?" Chuck asked. 

"So far so good medically. They aren't sure about the psychological yet but everyone is keeping a close eye on him and Hermannn," Raleigh said. Chuck was momentarily distracted by Raleigh's throat as he finished the last of the beer but managed to shake himself out of it before anyone noticed. If he kept an eye on Newt and Hermannn than he didn't get distracted by Raleigh or the obscene way Mako drank beer. "You think we're going to be okay on this trip?"

"Worried?" Chuck asked and Raleigh nodded. "I don't know, maybe, but the fact that no one has come forward and tried to brag about nearly killing me gives me the feeling that they're going to try again." 

"We'll just have to look after each other," Mako said as she effortlessly entered the conversation. Chuck didn't want to say that he was going to do that before someone tried to essentially drown him. Chuck considered himself a fairly protective person but now he wanted to put a bullet proof case around Raleigh and Mako to keep them safe. He wasn't going to let anyone out there hurt them. 

"Cheers to that," Raleigh said and he held up his beer in a toast. Mako and Chuck clinked the three of them together and Chuck barely tasted the rest of his beer. He could still feel feelings, in this case anxiety, so he was doing this wrong. Chuck set the bottle aside and opened another; he still had a long way to until he was numb. 

+++

Turned out that drinking heavily the night before they were supposed to travel was probably not the best idea. At least Mako and Raleigh thought that judging by the way they kept their sunglasses on when they got to the airport and ordered crackers and ginger ale from a nearby shop. Chuck could feel the two of them glaring at him despite the fact that he couldn't actually see their eyes. He felt fine but he attributed that to the fact that most of his family, aside from him and his Dad, were raging alcoholics. He was thankful at least that Mako didn't bring that up because the conversation would somehow loop back to Scott and that was someone Chuck didn't want to think about it.

He always thought about Scott when he drank though. He thought about how quickly Scott went under and how fast it was for him to spiral out of control. The night before they announced his graduation Chuck got drunk with Mako and they spent a good half hour making out. It was just starting to get a little heavier when Scott showed up, banging on the door, roaring drunk, and yelling. Dad knew all of Chuck's weak points which meant that Scott did as well. It wasn't hard for Scott to rip open every old wound Chuck had with terrifying accuracy. It kind of killed the mood and he and Mako never touched each other like that again. It wasn't for lack of wanting to, at least not on Chuck's end, but more that they just drifted apart when he got shipped out and she didn't.

"I hate you," Mako said. 

"No you don't," Chuck replied though he wasn't really paying attention.

"No, I really hate you," Mako repeated. 

"No you really don't," Chuck said. Max whined in his dog case that was beneath his feet and Chuck stole one of Mako's crackers and slipped it between the bars. 

"Obviously but I am angry that we're sitting here, hungover, and you're right as rain," she said.

"I know you don't have much practice so that's a good excuse so what's yours, Rals?" Chuck kicked Raleigh in the foot who made some sort of grunt of reply. "Sorry, come again? I only understand the spoken word and not inhuman grunts."

"I don't want to talk about it," Raleigh grumbled. "Actually, let's stop talking all together so we don't make the pounding in my head even worse." Mako nodded and they both pillowed their heads on the table and closed their eyes. Chuck shook his head as he watched them. They were in a lounge for first class passengers so there were only a few people around. Chuck was glad none of them stopped and asked for an autograph or something like that. He couldn't really be bothered to deal with that sort of things right now. He already wasn't in the best of moods. 

It dawned on him, rather suddenly, that one of the stops on this little trip was Australia and, last he heard anyway, Scott was back in Sydney. For one second, a second that made Chuck feel like a horrible person, he wished that Scott was one of the casualties from Multavore. That wasn't right though; he wasn't much of a Ranger if he wished a Kaiju would kill someone. Chuck's phone vibrated in his pocket and he checked the name to see Tendo staring back at him. 

"I'm sorry, I'm not looking to book any Elvis Impersonators," Chuck said by way of greeting. 

"Sometimes I forget that none of you are as funny as you think you are," Tendo replied. "How are Raleigh and Mako?"

"Passed out on a table," Chuck said and they both grunted some sort of noise that could have been interrupted as anything. 

"I can't say I'm surprised." Tendo paused and Chuck knew the real reason he was calling was on the way. "I didn't get a chance to talk to you about this before you left but a lot of the press calls you'll be doing won't be monitored."

"No one standing nearby," Chuck said. It was usually in the best interest of pilots to have a superior officer nearby in case a reporter asked a question that was out of line. That way the jaeger pilots could remain the rock stars and upper management took the heat. There wasn't any marshall so no one was going to be looking out for them. 

"Exactly and you know how those people can be and if there was anyone I could trust to scare them off it would be you. Someone is going to bring up Yancy and Tokyo to try and get a reaction out of Raleigh and Mako because a pilot breaking down is just the sort of thing that sells newspapers," Tendo explained. Chuck glanced at Raleigh and Mako who were both obviously awake and listening to his end of the conversation. 

"Watch Max you two." Chuck got up and walked several paces away and kept an eye on the two of them so neither could sneak up on him. "I know and I was already planning on it. Those little fucks aren't going to get a chance to poke at any wounds while I'm there."

"They'll be poking at yours too," Tendo said. 

"Yeah and they'll expect me to be an ass about it. It's my reputation and I plan on taking advantage of it," Chuck said. He shifted the phone from one ear to another as Mako and Raleigh both sat up and began to gather their things. They were due to board the plane soon. "I'll look after them."

"I know you will," Tendo said softly. Chuck knew that Tendo wanted to come along on the tour but he had Alison and a kid to get home to. He already spent enough time away from them and it wasn't fair to ask a young mother and a kid to travel around the world like they were planning. Tendo knew Raleigh and Yancy when they were cocky little kids so there was a sense of paternal protection there.

"We're getting ready to board. I'd say that we'll keep in touch but you're going to be watching all of the conferences anyway," Chuck said. 

"You know it. Have a good flight, Baby Hansen," Tendo replied. 

"Don't call me that." Chuck hung up the phone but he faintly heard Tendo laughing on the other end. Mako and Raleigh were both staring at him when he joined them. They wanted to ask what that was about but didn't. Chuck was thankful for that. Neither of them needed to know that they were just assigned protection in the form of Chuck Hansen. There wasn't a chance Chuck was going to let the press get away with trying to make old wounds bleed. The program was over but Chuck still considered himself a Ranger and a Ranger protects people. 

They had most of the first class cabin to themselves and within five minutes of taking off Mako was asleep. There was a certain tension to her shoulders that Chuck knew the origin of. Mako hadn't spent much, if any, time back in Japan and that was the first stop. Chuck hated the UN a little for that. It would have been better if Australia was first. Then he could deflate everything aimed at him and walk away with a sneer. 

"Press isn't until tomorrow," Raleigh said. "Dinner out and about tonight?"

"Sure," Chuck replied. 

"We're going to be fine," Raleigh said after a brief silence. Chuck wasn't sure who he was trying to assure. 

"Of course we will," he said. Chuck was going to see to that. 

+++

As soon as the plane touched down Mako's entire demeanor changed. There was probably a good chance she hadn't been back in town since the Oninaba attack. The city was like most cities that were attacked by Kaiju. There were sections that had been rebuilt but there were large portions that no one bothered to touch. The Kaiju sometimes did too much damage to try and rebuild the city when most of the funding in those countries went to building jaegers. It was almost like they forgot that they were building jaegers to protect cities. Raleigh reached over and took Mako's hand as they exited the plane. Their press detail wasn't until the next day and Chuck was glad for that. It gave him time to prepare for the vultures. 

"Maybe we should go take a nap," Raleigh suggested. 

"No," Mako replied. "There is somewhere I want to go first." Chuck glanced at Raleigh and shrugged a little. He wasn't about to deny her something like this. They dropped their few bags off at the hotel room, Chuck chose to ignore the strange look when they only got one hotel room but he glared the man into submission, and caught a cab. The driver sputtered and asked them a few questions until Chuck snapped at him that they were being charged by the minute so it would be nice if they got moving. The driver said something unflattering in Japanese which Chuck chose to ignore for now. 

Chuck wasn't entirely surprised that Mako had the driver take them to one of the more deserted streets near the memorial. She kept her head held high but stopped to buy some flowers. There were so many casualties in a Kaiju attack that governments began to erect mass memorials and people could scatter the ashes there if a body was to be found. They were starting to get recognized now and Chuck wanted to shove all of these gawkers away. Mako walked up to the memorial and laid some flowers at the base. She bowed her head and began to speak quietly in Japanese. It was then that one of the gawkers tried to approach her. Chuck grabbed him by the arm. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Chuck asked though he stumbled over his Japanese a little. 

"She is the famous Mako Mori. I want to see her," the man said and he tried to free his arm from Chuck's grasp. Chuck just tightened his grip. 

"She's busy. Come to the press conference tomorrow," Chuck snapped and he shoved the man away. Out of the corner of his eye Chuck saw Raleigh do the same thing but Mako's shoulders looked a little too tense for Chuck. He glanced at her and back to Raleigh to try and communicate that he's got this. That Raleigh should go and sit with her. Raleigh nodded, fortunately understanding what Chuck was trying to say without words, and knelt down next to Mako. Chuck spent the next ten minutes chasing off anyone that tried to get too close or anyone that tried to take a picture. 

He snatchedone camera from someone, deleted the picture, and handed it back with a threat to keep it next time. Several people tried to argue that they had every right to be there but he shot them his 'Chuck Hansen Bitch Face' as the Striker techs had dubbed it over the years. When it became fairly obvious that he was very angry the gawkers started to disperse. By then Chuck's fingernails were cutting into his palm and he was shaking. He hated these people and how they couldn't give a soldier time to grieve for that she lost. 

Mako took him by surprise when she joined him at her side. She took his fist in her hand and slowly unclenched it for him. Chuck wasn't really surprised that he had cut into his hand a little but that didn't mean he was prepared for Mako to run her fingers gently over the superficial wounds. It made a lump form in Chuck's throat and he had to try and swallow past it. 

"Thank you," she whispered. 

"Just because you saved the world doesn't mean you don't get privacy," Chuck replied and he gave himself a gold star for the fact that his voice didn't waver. Mako smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Before he could react to that she turned and did the same to Raleigh. 

"Come, I think a restaurant that my family used to go to a lot when I was a child is still nearby. We need dinner." Mako turned and started down one of the streets. Chuck tried not to notice the way Mako and Raleigh were holding each others hands tightly which he wasn't paying attention and wasn't expecting for Mako to take his as well. He glanced at their hands, then at her, and Mako smiled warmly. Chuck didn't stop her when Mako intertwined their fingers and the three of them walked down the street hand in hand. If there was some policy for dogs in the restaurant they were waved for Max as the three of them sat down. Chuck's ears felt a little red because he just walked down the street hand in hand with Mako and he hid behind his menu a little to keep anyone else from noticing though there was no doubt in his mind that they noticed. 

+++

After a very filling meal and an annoying cab ride back to the hotel Chuck just wanted to collapse onto the king sized bed and sleep for a week. He felt exhausted down to his bones in a way that he didn't often feel. That wasn't a good thing in his eyes because the press conferences hadn't even started yet. The concept of modesty wasn't as much of a problem anymore since they all just kept their backs to one another as they changed. That didn't mean Chuck wasn't very tempted to sneak a peek at Mako or Raleigh just that he didn't. He was fairly sure that they were all sound asleep within five minutes of their heads hitting the pillow. 

The next morning Chuck woke up and didn't feel as rested he would have liked. The press conferences were something that he never really enjoyed. The press loved him because Chuck didn't have a brain to mouth filter and would often give them sound bytes that they could run to make great headlines. That was before though. That was when he had Herc's steady presence at his side and he felt like he could relax even a little. Herc was always willing to shoot a reporter down and tell them off and Chuck realized just how much he took that for granted. Now it was his turn to watch out his fellow pilots. 

The conference room, which was in the hotel thank god, was completely swarmed by the time the three of them arrived. The cameras started to go off and Chuck winced against the flashing lights. Apparently he was out of practice when it came to this. Mako and Raleigh stood up straight, tall, and proud. Chuck didn't miss the way their hands brushed when they sat down, Raleigh on the right, Mako in the middle, and Chuck on the left. There was an official from the Japanese division of the PPDC that was going to point out which reporter could talk and when but Chuck didn't expect any intervention from him where it counted. 

The first few questions were the standard ones. They asked Operation Pitfall and how it went. One of them asked Chuck about Herc which he answered tartly with 'my father was a brave man who died with a great one for the better of the world' and left it at that. This was only getting started and Chuck knew it was only a matter of time before someone decided to cross the line. 

"Miss. Mori," a reporter said. "Marshall Pentecost adopted you after the attack on Tokyo. Could you tell us about what it's like--"

"Next question," Chuck snapped. 

"Mr. Hansen I wasn't done--" the reporter tried again.

"I said next question," Chuck said slowly He met the eye of the reporter and stared the man down. The reporter looked like he was about to argue but eventually sat down. Raleigh and Mako were staring at him like they couldn't believe what just happened. An uncomfortable silence passed until the next reporter raised a hand and a few more standard questions but the tension in the room was palpable. 

"Mr. Becket," another report said. "after you lost your brother--"

"Next question," Chuck said. Once again everyone stared at him with open mouths and wide eyes. 

"I was just trying to--" the report stuttered. 

"And I said next question," Chuck said. Another uncomfortable silence went by and from there on no one asked anymore questions to try and get a rise out of Mako or Raleigh. The conference ended with a few nervous laughs and they were on their way. None of them stopped to take more questions or pictures. Instead the three of them made a beeline for the elevator door and no one seemed to relax until the doors were closed. 

"What was that?" Raleigh asked when they got back to the room.

"What was what?" Chuck replied. 

"You and making the reporters skip certain questions, are you going to explain that?" Raleigh asked. Mako was nearby as well and they were both staring at him, arms crossed, with such similar expressions that one might think they were ghosting. 

"We've done enough. The last thing we need is the press ripping open old wounds just for the sake of selling papers," Chuck replied. "We don't have a Pentecost or my Dad to look out for us so I'm going to look out for us." He wasn't ready to turn around and face the two of them after a confession like that. Chuck felt movement behind him and he tensed up considerably when he felt strong arms hug him from behind. He was about to say something when Mako was suddenly in front of him and hugging him as well. They both muttered 'thank you's' and held on tight. Chuck relaxed into their embraces and closed his eyes. 

+++

Australia was next on the list and Chuck was not looking forward to that. He was already a local celebrity before Pitfall and now he felt like he needed a security guard. There wasn't any time between their flight landing and the press conference to get their bearings which meant that Chuck was already more than a little grumpy by the time the questions started flying. The reporters must have watched the telecast from the last conference because none of them asked about Pentecost and how Mako felt about losing him or Raleigh and how it felt to pilot after losing Yancy. They did, however, bring up Herc a lot which Chuck had prepared himself for. He kept repeating that he respected his Dad and misses him terribly. By the time the conference ended Chuck felt like he was five minutes away from going to homicidal. All he wanted to do was eat dinner and watch a bad movie for the rest of the night while possibly drowning himself in the mini bar.

Which is why, as they were walking across the street to dinner, Scott appeared. 

"Hello dear nephew," Scott said as he walked up to them. He smelled like a distillery and Chuck hadn't seen or heard from him since he graduated. 

"Scott, what are you doing here?" Chuck asked. Mako and Raleigh were nearby to give Chuck some privacy but they were both obviously eavesdropping. If Scott noticed he didn't care. 

"My brother dies saving the world so you're all I have left. We're the only family we've got left, kiddo," Scott said like they had some sort of relationship that could be built or saved at this point. Chuck wanted to punch him but also knew Scott would press assault charges in a heartbeat just for the money. 

"We're not family," Chuck said. "We haven't been family since you drunkenly wandered off before I graduated after you were discharged from the PPDC. Don't act like you're here because you want to reconnect. What do you want so I can say 'no' and we can never see each other again." Scott smirked tossed the cigarette that he was smoking on the ground. He took a few steps closer to Chuck and sized him up. Maybe Scott would throw the first punch and he could claim self defense. That would be the best case scenario. 

“I just wanted to say hello to one of the heroes of the world and yet here you are too. Imagine my surprise. The last time your father came and brought you have when he should have left you behind and this time he should have let you go down there to die.” Logically Chuck knew that Scott was trying to hurt him. He was pissed that he got let go and had nothing now. He was pissed that he lost his paycheck and fame from the PPDC. That didn’t mean that he was prepared for it though and the words hit him like a slap to the face. Scott knew how to cut deep, he always did, and here he was doing it again. Chuck knew he should say something, defend himself, but he didn’t even know where to start. The worst part was that he agreed with him. He should have been down there instead of Herc. He was the one that should have died at the bottom of the ocean. He must have been taking too long to respond because Mako was right there and in Scott’s face before he could say a word. 

“Mr. Hansen I think it would be in your best interest to leave. You’re talking to a dedicated war hero who laid down his life to protect the world. He was willing to go down and die to keep you and everyone else safe. Chuck has never deserved your scorn just because you were ejected from the PPDC.” Mako took a step forward and got right into Scott’s face like he didn’t have several inches and pounds on her. “You are going to walk away and never talk to Chuck again or I’m going to find some way to make your life miserable.”

Chuck wasn’t sure who was more surprised in that moment; him or Scott. Chuck wanted to say something, tell her that she didn’t need to defend him when Scott was speaking the truth, but he also had a feeling that would get him hit with something. Mako knew how to throw a hell of a punch and Chuck quite liked his jaw unbroken. Scott, however, looked like he had no idea what to do with this Japanese woman threatening him with violence. At first he looked like he was about to argue or maybe even throw a punch but decided against it at the last moment. Scott straightened, glared at the three of them, and walked away without another word. Chuck watched him go and couldn't think of anything to say. Mako turned and looked at him. "Don't you dare listen to a word he says." 

"You didn't need to do that," Chuck said ignoring her question. 

"Yes I did and you're not going to listen to a word he says," Mako repeated. "You gave up just as much as the rest of us and I won't let you forget that." Mako kissed him on the cheek and pulled Chuck toward the hotel room. Raleigh put a hand on Chuck's shoulder and squeezed. It was a nice reminder that as much as he was looking out for Raleigh and Mako during this trip they were looking out for him as well. 

+++

Chuck got his second reminder that Mako and Raleigh were just as protective about him as he was about them in England. Chuck spent a good portion of the press telling people to skip that question or to move on so now he was developing the reputation among journalists. They were trying to talk their way around certain issues like Chuck could be tricked into letting them ask a question about Yancy or Mako's family. Chuck knew journalists though and when one told Chuck that he wasn't talking to him Chuck called the man lots of unflattering names right there in front of everyone while Mako and Raleigh tried to hide the fact that they were laughing. They were getting dinner when the journalist caught them outside of a bar. 

"Coward," the man said. He was obviously drunk and Chuck just ignored him but he threw something at him. 

"You should leave me alone," Chuck said as he turned to face the journalist but the man laughed.

"It should have been you in Striker. Then no one would have to deal with this annoying scene you keep causing at these press rounds. I bet your Dad was so embarrassed by you that he jumped at the chance to blow himself up. You're a disgrace." The journalist spit on the ground and Chuck didn't have the chance to react before Raleigh jumped in and started beating the living hell out of the man. It took Chuck and Mako way too long to pull the enraged Raleigh off and by then someone had called the police and an ambulance. The journalist was taken to a nearby hospital while Raleigh was arrested. It took some sweet talking but Mako and Chuck managed to get the police to let them go see Raleigh a few hours later. 

"That was stupid," Chuck said and Raleigh smiled from inside the cell. 

"What's the damage?" he asked. 

"Broken nose, knocked out a few teeth, black eye, and a mild concussion," Mako said. "There are enough people who testified that he was the aggressor and he's not going to press charges."

"However, the police think you could use a night in a cell to cool down," Chuck explained. Raleigh shrugged like that wasn't a big deal at all. 

"It was worth it. No one gets to talk to you like that," he said. Mako nodded like that was the most obvious thing in the world. Chuck didn't know how these two people kept surprising him but just when he thought he had the two of them figured out they did something to throw his entire world off balance. That was a little annoying in some ways but it also made Chuck smile to himself. 

For so much of his life Chuck felt like there wasn't anyone out there that cared about him. Dad needed him but that didn't mean the same thing. At least not in the way Chuck understood it. Now he was with two people who were willing to take on a former soldier in a fist fight or beat a journalist into the ground with complete disregard for the consequences. All because they involved someone else telling Chuck he wasn't worth it. 

He had a feeling that this was going to take some serious getting used to. 

+++

Central Europe was much better than Western in the sense that people seemed to finally get the point that there were certain questions that just were not asked. That was a good thing because it made Chuck relax a little more. He was able to enjoy the sights of the various places he never got to visit during the war. Chuck had been all over the world but mostly to the various Shatterdomes across the world. He wondered if these land locked people felt more safe than anyone who lived on a coast did. He wondered how much this affected them than the countries that were immediately at threat. No one knew that the Kaiju could fly before Otachi, which made the concept of the Wall of Life even more stupid than it already was, so in reality there really wasn't any safe place to run. If they hadn't closed the breach nowhere would have been safe. 

It was the uncomfortable question no one was really ready to answer. The United Nations continued to defend the Wall of Life while raising the three of them to hero status. It made no sense but Chuck managed to hold his tongue whenever it came up in any capacity. All three of them made their feelings on the Wall of Life known and no one in black suits ever came and told them to stop. Chuck figured that the UN knew what battles they could fight and which ones they would lose. There was never a moment that Chuck was going to forget that they were the resistance not the army and that these people abandoned them. 

Chuck was trying not to think about that though as he walked around a small German town with Mako and Raleigh. They had just finished dinner and were making their way back to the hotel room very slowly. No one ever asked about their living arrangements which is good because Chuck isn't sure he could explain to someone who didn't understand. They were healing though and Chuck could see the improvements in Raleigh and Mako daily. They were getting better and, by extension, he guessed he was as well. 

"I bet we could have taken you," Raleigh said. "Yancy and I were badass and I bet we could have taken you and your Dad in a fight."

"With your old rust bucket against my girl? Is that a joke?" Chuck said. This conversation, for example, was something he was 110% sure they couldn't have had even a month ago. Yet here they were arguing over who would have beaten whom in a fight. 

"Rust bucket? Really Chuck? So you didn't have Gipsy stuck on your wall in the academy or am I remembering incorrectly?" Mako said.

"You're remembering incorrectly," Chuck said quickly but he could already feel his ears turning red and Raleigh just looked delighted. 

"That's just adorable," Raleigh said as he threw his arm around Chuck. "Did you have any of the action figures? I bet you did." 

"We're not talking about this anymore Ray," Chuck replied as he tried to escape the one armed hug Raleigh currently had him trapped in. Chuck caught a glimpse down one of the dark alleyways and stopped dead in his tracks. The light wasn't that great but he was almost sure there was someone lying on the ground.

"What's wrong?" Mako asked. 

"I think someone might be hurt down there," Chuck said. Raleigh removed his arm and the three of them began to make their way down the alley. The closer they got the more obvious it became that there was indeed a body. 

"Are you all right? Are you hurt?" Raleigh called down but the body didn't stir. Chuck got to them first; it was a young woman in simple clothes with no purse or ID around. He knelt down and touched her shoulder. She jerked like he just electrocuted her. 

"It's fine, you're safe now, whatever happened we're here to help," Chuck said slowly as to not startle her even more. She blinked a few times and then smiled wickedly. 

"You're the one that isn't safe," she said and she kicked Chuck's feet out from underneath him so he landed hard on his back. He looked up to see four men emerge from the shadows and attack Raleigh and Mako. Chuck got to his feet and blocked a punch from the woman but she was smaller and faster than him. She kicked Chuck in the solar plexus and twisted behind him. There was a rag over his nose and mouth and this was not happening. There was no way he was going to let these people kidnap him or anyone else. Chuck felt a little dizzy but twisted out of her grasp. 

Chuck managed to hit her in the stomach and knocked the wind out of her. He got her by the throat and pinned her to the wall. She grinned at him and there was blood on her teeth. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Raleigh and Mako fighting their own attackers. Raleigh slammed one of the men into the wall face first and he crumbled to the ground in a heap of limbs. He twisted the other attackers arm hard enough that Chuck heard a bone snap. The man cried out and Raleigh hit him hard enough that he fell. Mako moved like she had no concept of physics. She threw one of the men over her shoulder like he weighed nothing at all and kicked him in the temple hard enough that he went still. She used a twist that Chuck was all too familiar with and had the man face down with an arm twisted painfully behind him. 

"Who are you?" Chuck asked. "What do you want?"

"You'll find out soon enough," she said. Chuck wasn't sure how she managed to twist out of his grasp but she got a hand free and threw a flash grenade on the ground. The light blinded him and when his eyes adjusted the four men and the woman were gone. Raleigh's lips was split and bloody and his knuckles were bruised but he looked okay. Mako had the beginnings of a black eye and a cut on her cheek and on her hands. Chuck felt a twinge in his lower back, he could taste blood in his mouth, and he was a little dizzy from the sedative she made him inhale. The three of them stared at each other and said nothing. 

+++

Chuck didn't remember much after that. He remembered the police showing up and being dragged to the station to give a statement. He remembered feeling like someone was watching him everywhere he went and how he didn't feel safe. Chuck remembered standing in front of the faces of the UN as they promised to find out who tried to kidnap them but they were to continue their press tour. They didn't want the public to find out that someone was trying to hurt the saviors of the world and cause a panic. Chuck wasn't sure how that was okay because it meant the three of them were still at risk. He could also tell that there was no way arguing was going to make a difference. For now it was just best to nod along until he felt safe again. The three of them sat side by side in the back of the escort back to their hotel room. They declined going to the hospital and quickly made their way up to the room. 

As soon as the door closed the three of them moved quickly. Chuck locked the door twice while Raleigh shoved a chair against the handle so the door couldn't open. Mako walked out of the bathroom with some towels and shoved them against the bottom of the door. They drew the curtains and locked the windows, unplugged the phone, and turned off the television. Chuck still didn't feel safe though and he hated that feeling. There was no way he was going to get any sleep tonight. 

Alcohol," they all said at the same time. That was how Chuck started doing shots from the expansive mini bar. It wasn't long until the three of them were drunk and Chuck felt some of the tension seep out of his shoulders. 

"Do you think these are the same people that sent the letters to the Shatterdome?" Mako asked. She had her head pillowed on Raleigh's stomach and her legs tangled with Chuck's. Raleigh was close enough that their arms were touching and Chuck wished the room would stop spinning for just a second. He doesn't know how they ended up like this but this is closer than they usually were even if they did sleep together. 

"It would make sense if it was," Raleigh replied. "We're the reason they didn't get the rapture so now they're out for revenge."

"That means they're fueled by righteous fury," Chuck said as Raleigh and Mako looked at him. "It means they won't give up."

"That just means we'll have to be more alert," Mako said. "We'll have to look after each other even more than we already have." Chuck and Raleigh both nodded and they lapsed into a comfortable silence. They didn't need to drink anymore but they were passing a whiskey bottle around anyway. Chuck was getting past the point of no return and needed to sit up or he was going to get sick. He rolled his shoulders to try and get some of the kinks out wouldn't go away. Chuck was about to complain about it when he felt two hands on his shoulders. Raleigh was sitting up and Mako had shifted up as well though she was mostly sitting on Chuck's legs now. 

"You're tense," Raleigh said softly. There was something in his tone that made Chuck's stomach twist into a little knot. 

"I think I have the right to be," Chuck replied. He wanted to look over his shoulder at Raleigh but Raleigh was already so close Chuck could feel Raleigh breath against the back of his neck. The massage was not helping. If anything it was making the room feel smaller. "I won't let them hurt you two." Someone must have cut the oxygen to the room because Chuck didn't mean to say that out loud. 

He could feel Mako watching the two of them intensely and when Chuck caught a glimpse of her eyes her pupils were dilated. Raleigh placed a hand on Chuck's cheek and turned his head so they were looking at each other. They were so close and Chuck felt like his heart was about to beat out of his chest. Raleigh smiled softly and closed the the distance between them. 

Chuck's first kiss with Raleigh was not what he expected. In his private moments, when he allowed himself to think about this, he pictured Raleigh throwing him against the wall and attacking his mouth. This kiss was soft, gentle, and it felt like someone just kicked Chuck in the chest. He vaguely heard Mako gasped quietly but it was very hard to focus as he and Raleigh carefully explored each others mouths. They had to pull away to breath and Chuck immediately had a lap full of Mako. She turned his head and kissed him. It was like no time had passed between their drunken make out as teenager and this moment. She kissed him the same and moan gently when Chuck put his hands on her hips. 

Raleigh shifted behind him and when Chuck and Mako had to break apart Raleigh was at Mako's back. They smiled at each other and Chuck watched them kiss. It was like watching two puzzle pieces falling into place. Raleigh and Mako were truly one half of a whole, they completed each other, and watching them kiss was like watching art. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Chuck wanted to watch them kiss but that didn't mean his self control was iron clad. He leaned forward and began to softly kiss Mako's neck. She gasped against Raleigh's lips and pulled Chuck closer so it was hard to tell where one of them ended and the next began. Chuck felt dizzy but he didn't want to stop. Not now and maybe not ever.

Mako broke her kiss with Raleigh and pulled Chuck up to meet her lips again. This wasn't like their soft kisses they had traded thus far. This one was hard and wet and Chuck let himself get lost in the sensation. He trailed his fingertips down Mako's side until he felt Raleigh's thigh. Their knees were nearly touching and Chuck had to touch him as well. Raleigh was kissing the back of Mako's neck and along her exposed shoulders from her tank top. 

"I want to see it again," Mako said against Chuck's lips and he was momentarily distracted when Raleigh's fingers tangled in his. She sounded breathless and her words were slurred together from the alcohol and Chuck had no idea what she was talking about. She kissed him again and broke away. "I want to see the two of you together again." Chuck's brain managed to catch up with the situation and he realized that Mako wanted to see him and Raleigh kiss again. She broke their kiss and eased out of Chuck's lap. 

Raleigh was there in seconds and they must have opened the cut on Raleigh's lip again because Chuck tasted the faint tang of blood. It made them moan against each others lips and this was the type of kiss Chuck expected from Raleigh. It was like they were fighting in the kwoon all over again, the push and pull for dominance, and who was going to win. Raleigh's fingers threaded through Chuck's hair and he felt a warm body move to his back. Mako touched his waist and slid up his shirt to get to bare skin. 

The harsh knocking on the door made all three of them jump. 

All three of them were so out of breath that it sounded like they had just gone a round in the kwoon together. The sudden knock was enough that they all broke apart and stared at each other like they couldn't believe that just happened. Chuck knew he was still drunk but his head felt a little clearer now. This was a bad idea, such a bad idea, because Raleigh and Mako were the two most important people in his life now. He wasn't going to risk that for a drunken hook up even if he really needed to get laid. 

"Excuse me?" a voice called from outside. "I'm sorry to disturb you but one of your neighbors called in and complained about a dog barking. Is everything okay?" Chuck blinked and realized in his haste to get drunk he forgot that Max was locked in the bathroom. Now that he felt considerably more sober he heard the barking and crying.

"I'll take care of it. I'm sorry," Chuck said and he mentally gave himself a pat on the back for how steady his voice was. 

"No problem sir." Chuck climbed out of the bed and let Max out of the bathroom. He jumped around the room and generally looked happy to be out and about. Chuck knelt down to pet him and when he looked up Mako and Raleigh were sitting on the edge of the bed with a good two feet between them. 

"We were scared," Mako said softly.

"We were drunk," Raleigh said. 

"And it shouldn't have happened," Chuck finished. It was the right decision to make. This press tour wasn't over yet and there was still the issue of someone trying to hurt them. They couldn't lose focus now, not when they were in danger, and what had just happened between them was the definition of losing focus. None of them heard Max barking and this was a distraction they didn't need. There was too much at risk. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” Raleigh said and he sounded relieved almost. 

“We need to focus on this tour and staying safe,” Mako said. It almost seemed like she was implying that maybe they could revisit this when the tour ended but Chuck knew that was a bad idea still. Mako and Raleigh were soulmates, he knew that the second he saw them kiss, and he wasn’t about to get in the way of that. As soon as they wanted space Chuck was ready to give it to them. He wanted them to be happy and if that meant he had to learn to sleep alone again then he would. For now they climbed into bed together but despite the fact that Chuck was locked in a room with Mako and Raleigh in his bed he didn't feel safe. Chuck didn't fall asleep for a long time. 

+++

Chuck had never experienced being embarrassed right away but it was almost instantaneous when he opened his eyes and remember what had happened the night before. He wanted to kick himself for giving in to the urges he had tried to bury so hard. There wasn't a chance he could let this happen. There was too much at stake at least right now. Chuck knew he couldn't make it through the rest of this press tour without some help from Raleigh and Mako. That meant that things couldn't happen between any of them. Something would go wrong and Chuck couldn't stand the idea of that happening. He sat up in bed and looked around; he wasn't surprised to see that Mako and Raleigh were awake as well. 

No one mentioned the night before. He guessed that this meant they weren't going to address it further than that and as far as Chuck was concerned he was okay with that. They didn't need to make this even worse. There was just another attempt on their lives and they were afraid. There wasn't any need to make it any worse. Chuck nodded, mostly to himself, and climbed out of bed. Mako and Raleigh followed a few minutes later; they couldn't stay locked in the hotel room. They still had their orders and they still had to follow them. 

+++

The rest of the European press tour went well. The journalist seemed to realize that there were certain questions they weren't going to get a chance to ask and stopped trying. It made Chuck relax a little in that sense but there was an itch on the back of his neck that wouldn't go away. Chuck knew what it was too; he didn't feel safe. The UN didn't seem too worried about the kidnapping attempt and made sure that there were more bodyguards following them around. That didn't help ease Chuck's mind at all though. The people that were trying to hurt them had so far made it clear that they were willing to try different things to get what they want. Mako and Raleigh seemed on edge as well but Chuck was the one who couldn't sleep. 

He stared at the ceiling and listened to Mako and Raleigh slowly breathing. They were warm presences in the bed with him but even that wasn't enough to quiet his mind. Chuck kept running scenario after scenario through his mind about what could happen if someone wasn't looking out for them. That wasn't something he was willing to just let go either. He knew it was bothering Mako and Raleigh as well but at least they were sleeping. Chuck was lucky if he got a few quick hours here and there. It made him feel sluggish and exhausted which just made him feel even more vulnerable out in front of people. He began to regard everyone around him as a threat and he didn't apologize the first time he snapped at someone to stay away from him. 

"We're okay," Mako said that night. "Chuck, look at me." Chuck turned his gaze up and met her eyes. "We're okay."

"Are we?" he asked. 

"Yes, we are," she replied. There was a time in his life where Mako's certainty would be enough to keep him going but this moment wasn't it. 

"Yeah, it's been three weeks and nothing has happened," Raleigh said. "They did up the security just like they promised that they would. They would have to be stupid to try and kidnap us with half of the local police following our every move." 

Mako and Raleigh weren't pilots during the end days though, they didn't know about the kidnapping threats Chuck and his father received on a near weekly basis, because those didn't happen until after Raleigh left. Mako was an engineer and the extremist didn't bother with those. He wanted to believe them more than anything but there wasn't a chance he could let his guard down. Chuck nodded because it was a lot easier to lie to them than it was to accept that there wasn't much he could do if extremist really wanted to hurt them. Mako kissed his cheek and Raleigh pulled Chuck into a one armed hug.

That night, once Chuck was sure they were asleep, he carefully crawled out of bed and went out into the hallway. It was four in the morning local but it was the late evening for who he wanted to call. 

"Baby Hansen, why are you awake?" Tendo asked by way of greeting. 

"Don't call me that," Chuck said automatically. "What can you tell me about the attempts on us?" 

"I've been looking into them since you called me," Tendo replied and Chuck was thankful that Tendo didn't call him out on the fact that he didn't answer why he was awake at this terrible time of night. "I lurked around some of the old websites where people would post things and see if anyone was mentioning anything."

"And?"

"And no one is taking credit. It could be a more extreme offshoot of BuenaKai but since there isn’t a rigorous belief and it varries depending on location we have no way of knowing. There are a few whispers about the letters and the kidnapping but mostly it's just other people asking the same questions we are. Whoever is coming after you three isn't making themselves known." Tendo paused and Chuck waited. "If they aren't taking public credit then they aren't going for basic terrorism."

"For something to be an act of terrorism there needs to be someone to fear," Chuck said. This was something that he had rolled around in his head after all of this had happened. "The UN has made sure that the general public doesn't know about the attacks. You can't instill fear in people if they don't know what's happening."

"That could mean that this is more personal then," Tendo said. "And that's even worse. They've mentioned God and how you three ruined their chance at Heaven. BuenaKai always said that the Kaiju were this generation's flood. They were meant to clear the Earth of the sinners and leave a new one for the believers. To them, when we closed the breach, we just stopped the flood. That seems like something that would make someone angry in a very personal way."

"They're not trying to terrorize people; they're trying to get revenge," Chuck said softly. That was so much worse than some nut jobs going around and saying how they wished the world was still ending. 

"Look, Chuck," Tendo said. "If these people have made it personal then they aren't going to just stop. In their eyes the PPDC and the jaegers took away their salvation. They're going to attack again. You guys aren't safe."

"The UN won't listen." Chuck hit his head against the wall of the hotel room hallway gently. "They think this press tour is more important. They think if they throw enough security at us everything will be okay." Tendo didn't say anything but Chuck could hear him breathing on the other end of the line. There were other voices in the background, Alison and Jensen, and they sounded happy. "I don't want you to look into this anymore."

"Come again?" Tendo didn't sound very happy at that suggestion but Chuck couldn't protect everyone. 

"You were a commander in the PPDC. You were there and helped guide us to the breach. I don't want them to come after you or your family too. Do you still have Gottileb and Geiszler's contact information?" Chuck asked.

"Yeah, of course, but Chuck--"

"Get in touch with them as well. Who knows what these crazy people will do if they find out that our K Science division Drifted with their agents of god. They need to make sure they stay safe and so do you. You have a family that you need to look after," Chuck said. 

"And what about you?" Tendo asked incredulously. 

"I'll worry about me. I won't be contacting you again Tendo and don't call me either. Stop looking around those websites so you don't paint a target on your back." Chuck didn't wait for Tendo to respond because he was sure it was going to be a fight to end all fights. Tendo never took a Ranger talking down to him well and there was no way he would back off that easily. Chuck didn't want to think about these crazy people going after people who actually had family left. He was alone in the world. Chuck climbed to his feet and crept back into the room. Raleigh and Mako didn't stir when he got back into bed. 

Chuck still couldn't sleep and now he was trying to come up with a way to turn the focus away from those who still had something to lose. If he could get them to focus entirely on him then he could keep Raleigh, Mako, Tendo, he could keep them all safe. That was why he joined the PPDC in the first place, to keep people safe, so no one would have to go through what he went through when he lost his mother.

Chuck closed his eyes and tried to sleep. It never came and he watched the sun rise through the hotel room windows. 

+++

Chuck should have known that America was going to be hard on Raleigh in the same way that Australia was hard on him and Japan was hard on Mako. They all had their baggage but Raleigh was the one who probably had the most in the way of unresolved issues. Raleigh talked about Yancy now but he never mentioned Knifehead or the sensation of having his co-pilot ripped out of his head. They had talked about it briefly when they were healing in the Shatterdome before the press tour but Chuck never pressed the issue. He was just thankful, at least at the time, that someone understood what it was like to lose a co-pilot. Now Chuck was kind of regretting that they didn't deal with this a little better before now. It was like Raleigh was a different person the moment they landed on American soil. Mako noticed as well and held Raleigh's hand as they walked through the airport. Chuck made sure that he was close and brushed his shoulder against Raleigh's at every moment he could. 

They were in New York at the moment but the next morning they would be on their way to Alaska for the day and then to California to have a conference San Francisco. The Alaska detour was Raleigh's idea but judging by the way he looked a little sick he was regretting it now. They were going to Yancy's grave to pay their respects. Chuck thought it was a good idea at the time but as he watched Raleigh withdraw he took back that assumption. There was no way this was a good idea. 

That night Raleigh didn't sleep either and somehow the two of them ended up out on the balcony of their hotel room watching the city. 

"I haven't been back East in a long time," Raleigh said. "There wasn't much of a point. The problem wasn't in the Atlantic Ocean but the Pacific. Why would jaeger pilots go to New York outside of talk show appearances?" 

"The same reason we're here now," Chuck said shrugging. "I imagine people here were just as worried as people on the coast." 

"They were but not in the same way," Raleigh said as he pulled at a loose thread on his sweater. "I liked coming back here before. It was nice to look out at the ocean and not worry about what was going to come out of it. The Atlantic was still safe or at least it felt safe at the time."

"Just like the wall felt safe to some people," Chuck said. "Until we found out that those fuckers could fly. I don't think I've ever seen people more shocked than when Otachi spawned wings out of nowhere." Raleigh hummed in agreement but didn’t look any closer to being tired enough to sleep. Chuck wasn’t going to leave him alone when he was in this state of mind and he wasn’t feeling sleep either. They sat together in total silence for over an hour until Raleigh finally broke it.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Raleigh asked.

“Must be jetlag,” Chuck lied.

“No, you haven’t been sleeping for weeks, why?” Raleigh said.

“I’m fine,” Chuck said probably a little harder than he needed to. Raleigh shrugged and acted like it wasn’t a big deal that Chuck was lying to him. Raleigh didn’t call him on it though and they sat together until the sky began to lighten.

+++

Of the many things that Chuck hated about this trip it was this moment that he was looking forward to the least. The Shatterdome in Anchorage loomed over them like some sort of relic from a forgotten age. There was rust everywhere and the Alaskan wilderness seemed to be consuming the structure as the ocean slowly beat it down until, someday, it would erode and fall into the ocean. Chuck almost wished he could make it happen now so he wouldn’t have to look at these places anymore. There were certainly still belongings and parts in there. 

Somewhere in that abandoned Shatterdome were small parts from fallen jaegers and bunks from fallen soldiers that no one ever bothered to clean out. For some reason that made Chuck even angrier because his fellow soldiers deserved better than that. He wondered if anyone had a key that could let him in. He’d carry those personal items out himself and mail them back to families on his own time and with his own money if he had to. Idly Chuck wondered if he could convince Raleigh and Mako to help him. Raleigh would probably need the distraction.

The graveyard for the PPDC was close enough that the shadow of the Shatterdome shrouded the entire site in darkness. Chuck had been to enough of these graveyards to know that most of those graves were empty. After Knifehead and Kaiju began to go for the pilots it was less and less likely they would find a body. Yancy was one of the few that had a body in the grave though judging from the pictures Chuck saw right before the funeral maybe it would have been better if he’d been lost at sea. Yancy died with an expression of terror frozen on his face from the icy Alaskan water. The fishing boat that Raleigh and Yancy saved were the ones that found the body. According to official records the entire crew attended the funeral.

Unlike when Mako visited the memorial in Tokyo or when Chuck swung by his Dad’s grave in Australia there wasn’t anyone here to bother them. Raleigh knelt in front of the stone and bowed his head. Mako let him sit there alone for all of fifteen seconds before she sat down next to him. She was saying something but Chuck couldn’t hear what it was. Chuck made no move to join them; it was his job to make sure that they wasn’t interrupted. They stayed long enough that Chuck’s fingers and toes were going numb but he ignored it. There were more important things.

"Oh my god he's alive," a voice said. Chuck turned around and saw an old man standing near the edge of the graveyard. He had one small flower in his hand and he was staring at Raleigh like he had just seen a ghost. There was a young man nearby, a kid maybe ten or eleven, nearly hiding behind the man. Chuck didn't want to take the chance of someone having a fan moment while Raleigh was busy but he also didn't feel like yelling at someone who looked like someone's grandfather. 

"We're a little busy right now, any chance you could come back later?" Chuck asked. The man blinked and stared at Chuck. 

"We thought the worst when we didn't see or hear about him again," the old man said. 

"What are you talking about?" Chuck said. 

"We were out on the beach when Gipsy walked back to land by herself after Knifehead. I stayed with Ranger Becket to make sure that he was alive while my grandson here went to go and get help. He wasn't coherent by the time help got here and we never heard about him again. We assumed the worst had happened," the man explained.

"Knifehead was heading for Alaska," the boy said softly. "When we found out what pilot died saving us we decided that we should pay our respects." 

"Thank you for that," Raleigh said softly. Chuck glanced over his shoulder and saw Raleigh and Mako joining them. Raleigh didn't look like he was about to have a meltdown but Chuck was having a hard time reading him. Raleigh offered his hand to the man and boy and introduced himself properly. A lot of people had thanked Raleigh for his services but for some reason the fact that this man thanked Raleigh for joining in the first place and coming back seemed to affect him a lot more. They didn't stay long and when Raleigh offered to sign something for them they both declined. They said that what Raleigh, and by extension Chuck and Mako, had done was enough. The old man and boy walked over to Yancy's grave and left the flower on the stone. 

"With all of the leeches in the press I think we sometimes forget that there are people out there who are just happy to be alive," Mako said. Raleigh didn't say anything but he did nod. They paid their respects to their fallen comrades and left as the sun was beginning to set. Raleigh was very quiet during dinner but Mako and Chuck didn't push him to have a conversation. The three of them all dealt with losing family in vastly different ways and this was Raleigh's. Chuck still made a mental note about finding out if they could help clean out anything left behind in the Shatterdome if only to keep busy after the press tour ended. 

Raleigh and Mako usually joined Chuck on his nightly walk with Max but they both declined this time. Chuck wasn't surprised and he spent his time walking around the block lost in his own head. He couldn't shake the bad feeling that had settled into his gut. Ever since someone had tried to kill and kidnap them Chuck hadn't felt safe but now it felt like something was about to happen. He had no idea if it was something good or bad but whatever it was set his nerves on edge. The hotel staff smiled brightly when Chuck walked Max back inside and Max waited patiently at Chuck's feet as they rode the elevator up. Max was getting up there in age and he tended not to bound ahead in hotels because there was no telling how someone could react. Chuck unlocked the door to their hotel room, turned a corner to look into the suit, and froze. 

Raleigh had his head cradled in his hands and looked like he was having trouble catching his breath. Mako was sitting on the table in front of him as she tried to talk him down. Chuck could barely hear what they were saying but he did hear Raleigh chanting Yancy's name. The visit to the grave must have triggered a flashback to Knifehead. The right thing to do would be to walk further into the room and try to comfort Raleigh but something made him stop. Mako forced Raleigh to look her in the eye and put his hand on her chest. 

"Match by breathing, feel the rise and fall of my chest, and count my heartbeats," she said just loud enough for Chuck to hear. It took a minute or so but the tension in Raleigh's shoulders began to slowly ease. They didn't move away from each other though and Chuck didn't make his presence known. It wasn't right to intrude on something like this but he couldn't help himself. For some reason it felt extremely important that he stay and see what was going to happen. Raleigh and Mako stared at each other and when they closed the distance to kiss Chuck felt his hands turn into fists. 

It was just like the night the three of them got drunk all over again. Raleigh and Mako fit like two puzzle pieces in a way that Chuck knew he didn't. There was something incredibly special between the two of them, something that came naturally to people that were meant to be together forever, which meant that he was the one preventing that from happening. Raleigh and Mako moved at the same time as Raleigh eased her onto the couch and deepened their kiss. Chuck looked away from them because as beautiful as the two of them were together he was many things but a voyeur was not one of them. Chuck eased Max out of the room and closed the door behind him. He felt a little light headed and Chuck was having a hard time catching his breath. 

He didn't entirely remember the ride back down to the lobby but the next thing Chuck realized was that he was standing in front of the night manager of the hotel. 

"How can I help you, Mr. Hansen?" she asked with a bright smile on her face. 

"We need another room," Chuck said though his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. It was like he couldn't quite form a coherent thought quite yet. 

"Oh, of course, we were informed that you only needed one but I'd be more than happy to get you another one," the manager said as she typed on her computer. "Across the hallway from your current room okay? It's a single though."

"A single is exactly what we need," Chuck replied. The manager nodded and typed a few more things on the computer. She handed Chuck two extra keycards and smiled brightly.

"Can I get you anything else?" she asked. 

"If you could have room service send up a bottle of whiskey that would be great," Chuck said. She nodded and picked up a phone which Chuck took as his cue to leave. Max followed Chuck down the hallway back toward the hotel room and looked extremely confused when Chuck didn't go into the old room. "Over here." Max huffed like Chuck was the worst in the world and waddled into the room. It was significantly smaller than the old room and the single bed looked almost intimidating but it wasn't like Chuck was sleeping at all. He fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. Max made a displeased noise and Chuck picked him up so they were both on the bed. A few minutes later room service arrived with the whiskey and Chuck took a few pulls straight from the bottle. 

"It was bound to happen eventually," Chuck said out loud because he needed to talk to someone and it wasn't like he was completely alone; Max was there. "I should have seen it coming a long time ago so this is almost expected really." Max huffed like he didn't believe a word Chuck was saying. Chuck wasn't sure he believed it himself. "Look, the two of them deserve this and I'm not about to get in the way of that. I'll just have to give them the space they deserve. It's as simple as that. It's not like I've been sleeping when I'm with them anyway so really this doesn't make that much of a difference." Chuck felt like his dog was judging him which was probably not a good sign for his mental health at the moment but he decided that now was not the time to deal with that. He drank some more of the whiskey and fell back on the comfortable pillows. Max curled up at his hip like he knew Chuck needed someone nearby but it wasn't quite the same. 

"I've can't become dependent on them," Chuck whispered as he scratched Max behind the ear. "I mean what did I think was going to happen when the press tour ended?" Now that he asked the question out loud Chuck really wasn't sure what he thought was going to happen at the end of the tour. He'd been so focused on keeping everyone safe that he forgot he needed to protect himself as well. "This is for the best." Max huffed again and Chuck didn't blame him for thinking Chuck wasn't being honest. As he closed his eyes Chuck wasn't sure who he was even trying to convince.

+++

Chuck didn’t sleep at all and when the wake up call for their flight came he snapped at the person on the other end of the line. He felt a little bad about it but not enough to stop him from slamming the phone back down on the receiver. Chuck had slept in his clothes from the day before and his bag was in the room with Raleigh and Mako. That just made him crankier because he really didn’t want to deal with this right now. He just wanted to finish this stupid press tour and go lock himself in a house somewhere away from the ocean. Chuck squared his shoulders and opened the door to walk across the hallway to the other room.

“Missing something?” Mako said. She pushed his bag at him a little harder than necessary. She looked deeply unimpressed, maybe even a little angry, while Raleigh stood behind her and looked like a kicked puppy.

“I was,” Chuck replied carefully.

“Imagine our surprise when we had to call the lobby and find out you got your own room without saying anything to either of us. It’s not like we’ve had attempts on our lives or anything like that,” Mako snapped and Chuck winced.

“Why did you get your own room?” Raleigh asked.

“I didn’t want to get in the way,” Chuck said. “It’s fine, I get it, and I appreciate what you’ve both done for me but I’m good now.”

“What are you talking about?” Raleigh asked but Chuck wasn’t going to be deterred. This was like ripping off a band aid; he needed to do it fast and then move away from people who could see how much it actually hurt.

“I’ll have my own room for the rest of the press tour and then I’ll be out of the way. Until then I’m going to give you guys some space and that’s the end of it.” Chuck didn’t want them to ask any more questions so closed he the door. There were two more big press tours and then all of this would be over. Max barked and Chuck glared at him. “No one asked your opinion.”

+++

Raleigh and Mako kept looking at him and it was beginning to irritate Chuck to absolutely no end. They wanted to ask him about the room and why he was giving them space but Chuck had absolutely no desire to talk about it. Instead he focused on the airport and then the view outside the plane. He had made a phone call to the woman who was Pentecost’s second in command at Anchorage. She confirmed that there probably were some personal items left inside the bunks of the Shatterdome. When Chuck expressed interest in helping clean those out she seemed surprised but pleased. He promised to call her back once the press tour was over. It was a good feeling to have something planned, something to focus on, to get through these last few publicity stunts.

California looked completely different from the place that Chuck had seen from before K-Day. The beautiful cities were barren wastelands from the nuclear weapons. No one lived near the ocean, just miles of desert between the coastline and where the city inland. It was safe to go back to San Francisco now but no one seemed to. By the time the radiation levels were safe the second Kaiju attack happened and then no one bothered to rebuild. There were other things, more important things, to focus on. 

As they drove down the various streets to get to where the event was taking place Chuck noted that this felt a little different from some of the other press calls they've done. Everything seemed a little more melancholy and people were less inclined to chase them down. Chuck almost hoped that people would leave them alone more. Raleigh still looked a little haunted from the scene back in Alaska and Mako kept shifting her glances between the two of them. Chuck wanted to tell her that he was fine and didn't need anyone worrying about him but he had a feeling that might get him hit. That wasn't something he was really looking forward to, since it was bound to happen eventually, and Chuck was even preparing himself for it. They hadn't discussed what they would be doing when this tour ended but Chuck had a feeling that Mako and Raleigh were not going to be happy that he wanted to go off on his own. 

It was warm enough that everyone was meeting outside for the first time. There was a barrier that lead to the conference and the police kept people from trying to get closer. 

"We should let them in," Mako said. "This tour is about giving people back their hope and keeping them behind a police barrier isn't going to give them hope."

"No, it won't," Raleigh said. "But it's also safer."

"At least they can keep things relatively under control if they limit the amount of people that are going to be there," Chuck said. As far as Chuck knew no one else had been targeted and there hadn't been any new information on who was claiming credit for the kidnapping and attempts on their lives. 

"We were willing to go against the Kaiju to save people," Mako said as they climbed out of the car. "Shouldn't we be willing to put our lives on the line again to give people hope?"

"I'm not risking you two," Chuck said without thinking. Raleigh and Mako stared at him but Chuck refused to look at both of them. He didn't need to explain himself to them. There were more journalists than usual at this event but it was also the first one they were holding in America so he wasn't too surprised. Something set Chuck's teeth on edge and he couldn't kick the feeling. Whatever it was it wasn't right and the feeling would not leave despite the amount of police and military personnel he saw walking around. 

The cameras were just starting to roll as they walked up to the stage to take their places. There would be a short speech, an introduction, and then there would be a question and answer time. Chuck took his seat and looked out into the crowd. A few people were snapping pictures, taking notes, it looked like every other conference yet something didn't feel right. Chuck reached down and scratched Max behind the ears but even that didn't make him feel better. 

The current governor of California crossed the stage but paused right in front of them when he dropped his papers. He knelt down to pick them up and a crack rang out. Chuck reacted without thinking; he pushed Mako and Raleigh down to the ground, shoved Max between himself and Raleigh, and shielded them with his body. Another shot rang out and the bullet was close enough to them that Chuck felt it. There were people screaming around them and the governor was staring at them with dead eyes and a bullet hole through his head. If he hadn't paused to pick up the speech he had dropped that bullet would have hit Raleigh. 

There was chaos all around them as people fled in different directions and various police and military officers tried to grab the person that had taken the shot. 

"Come with me, hurry!" their driver, a commander in the PPDC, screamed. Chuck did his best to keep himself between Raleigh, Mako, and Max as they kept their heads down and made their way behind the stage for cover. 

"Are you two all right?" Chuck asked and he winced at panicked he sounded. 

"Yes," Raleigh said though there was blood from the governor in his hair and on his sweater. They were so lucky and the thought of Raleigh being the one dead on the stage simultaneously made Chuck so scared he couldn't catch a breath and so angry he couldn't see straight.

"You're hurt," Mako said. She took Chuck's arm and sure enough he was bleeding. The second shot must had grazed him and he didn't even notice. 

"I'm fine. I've had worse from sparring with one of you two," Chuck said dismissively. Mako didn't look convinced, neither did Raleigh, and Chuck inwardly groaned because it was going to be impossible to have any alone time now. Their driver's phone rang and he answered it. 

"They have the suspect in custody," he said. 

"Alive?" Raleigh asked and the driver nodded. "I want to see this person. I want to know who is trying to hurt us." Mako hummed in agreement but Chuck was more inclined to break fingers until this suspect talked. He had a feeling that wouldn't go over too well. 

"I'm not sure that's--"

"We insist," Mako said in a tone that barred no argument. The driver hesitated and lead the three of them back to the car. As they drove to the police station Mako pulled out a bandage from a first aid kit that was in the glove compartment and wrapped Chuck's arm despite his protests. The second time he insisted he was fine she stomped on his toe while Raleigh smacked him upside the head. Chuck let them wrap the stupid cut and tried to will his hands to stop shaking. 

+++

It was chaotic by the time they got to the police station. Various members of the local police and the military were running around and barely paid them any attention. The police commissioner, Adin Burchman, walked over and shook all of their hands. 

"I'd like to apologize that we were unable to keep you safe," he said solemnly. 

"What can you tell us about this guy?" Raleigh asked as they walked to a room with a one way mirror. There was a young man, probably in his early twenties, hand cuffed to the table. His lip was bleeding and he already had a very impressive black eye. He also was staring at them like he knew that they were watching. 

"When you interfere with God's work then you will pay the price," the would be assassin said loudly. "You took away our chance at Paradise and now you must go to Hell." 

"His name is James Tamor," Commissioner Burchman said. "He's twenty one years old and he was reported missing over a year ago by his parents. They said that he met some new friends and one day he drained his bank account and vanished. I guess you could say we know what kind of people he was hanging around."

"Has he said what faction of BuenaKai he's with?" Mako asked. 

"No, not yet, he just keeps ranting about getting revenge and taking care of the people that got in the way of God's work. We have him on three counts of attempted murder and one count of murder so he's not going anywhere. We're hoping to get more information out of him but you know how these people can be," Commissioner Burchman said. Raleigh, Mako, and Burchman continued to talk but Chuck tuned them out. He was staring at this kid, James, who tried to kill the only two people he had left in the world. Chuck clenched his fists because James was smiling like he knew that the people he had attempted to kill were just beyond the door talking about him. Raleigh, Mako, and Burchman walked out of the room talking. Chuck followed but turned a different direction. This kid wasn't going to talk to the police but maybe he'd talk to one of the people that he was trying to kill. 

It was frighteningly easy for Chuck to distract the officer at the door long enough to slip into the interrogation room. All he needed to do was shake a few hands and ask for something to drink. The officer nearly jumped at the chance to help him. Chuck knew that this was probably going to get him in trouble but he didn't care. He wanted answers. 

"Interesting," James said when Chuck walked in. "I'm not surprised that one of you came in here though. If it was going to be anyone it was going to be you."

"Why are you trying to kill us?" Chuck asked as he sat down across from James. They were the same age and this kid was about to go to prison for the rest of his life. 

"You took away our chance at Paradise." James folded his hands and leaned forward on the table. "I'm not going to tell those idiots out there a word but I will share one bit of information with you because you're not going to be alive much longer anyway. We will never stop coming for you." 

"You aren't going to hurt them," Chuck snapped and James grinned like he just heard the best joke of his life.

"'Them' not 'us' Mr. Hansen? Well that's interesting. I have to say it was pretty funny to watch you throw yourself over Mori and Becket like that. What are they to you? What are you willing to do for them?" James asked. 

"I'd die for them," Chuck said and then snapped his mouth shut. It hadn't even occurred to him that he was willing to die for Mako and Raleigh yet here he was admitting it. He would have taken that bullet for Raleigh in a heartbeat, he wouldn't have hesitated for even a second, and that surprised Chuck. James, however, grinned like he just got the best news of his life.


	3. Raleigh

Raleigh was trying his damnest to focus on what Commissioner Burchman was saying but it was proving difficult. He was pretty sure he had a good excuse for not being able to focus considering he still had the blood on a dead man on his sweater and in his hair. Mako was probably the more responsible one and would keep track of everything and Chuck seemed almost too determined to keep them safe. Raleigh turned around to ask Chuck what he thought of this and was surprised that Chuck wasn’t there. Someone just tried to put a bullet in their heads and Chuck was nowhere to be seen. 

"Where did Chuck go?" Raleigh asked. Mako and Burchman turned around and stared. 

"He was right behind us," Mako said. Suddenly, there was a loud slam from down the other end of the hallway and a commotion. Raleigh had a feeling that Chuck was in the middle of this commotion; he just hoped no one was hurt. Raleigh rounded the corner and saw two officers hauling Chuck out of the interrogation room where James was being held. Someone was laughing from inside the room and Chuck was baring his teeth like a wild animal. 

"Someone call a medic," one of the officers said. Chuck forcibly removed himself from the officers grasped and rolled his shoulders. He looked furious; the tips of his ears were bright red and Chuck looked like he was about five seconds away from going nuclear. Mako joined him just as Raleigh walked up to him.

"What happened?" Raleigh asked. 

"Mr. Hansen managed to sneak into the interrogation room and he broke Mr. Tamor's wrist and slammed his forehead into the table. He's bleeding; he'll probably need stitches," one the officers explained. 

"The little fuck deserves worse," Chuck spit out.

"We aren't judge, jury, and executioner," Burchman said. "We don't need him suing you for assault or trying to make a case for police brutality unless you want to help him through some loophole." Chuck scoffed and stomped away. 

"Please keep us informed," Mako said. Burchman nodded and opened his mouth like he was about to say something but Raleigh didn't care much what it was. At this point it didn't really matter since it was evident that all the security in the world wasn't going to make a difference. Raleigh wasn't about to let Chuck walk around a corner only to vanish from sight. These people wanted to make a martyr of them and if they go their hands on Chuck or Mako Raleigh knew that they would make a spectacle of their deaths. 

"Chuck, wait," Raleigh called out. Chuck stopped walking but he did not turn around. "If you clench your fists any harder you're going to break your fingers."

"Shut up Becket," Chuck snapped. 

"What were you thinking?" Mako asked before Raleigh could say something that would really set Chuck off. "Were you planning on hitting him until he told you everything about these attempts?" Chuck's shoulders tensed in a way that telegraphed his intentions.

"That's exactly what you were going to do," Raleigh said. Chuck whirled around and immediately got into Raleigh's space. They were nearly chest to chest and Raleigh suddenly remembered the first time he and Chuck were this close. It didn't end well then and Raleigh had the distinct feeling it wasn't going to end well this time either. 

"That little shit in there nearly put a bullet in your head," Chuck snapped. "The military and police haven't done jack shit to keep us safe. In fact I think today is a pretty good indication that they can't keep us safe. Tamor has someone telling him what to do and we should be doing everything we can to find out who is pulling the strings." 

"I'm not disagreeing with you," Raleigh replied though his voice raised a few octaves. "Do you think I'm not aware that I nearly died today? I still have blood on my shirt, Chuck, blood from a guy that's current in the morgue because someone tried to kill me. I'm aware what the stakes are just as much as you are and don't you forget it. That being said breaking someone's wrist isn't going to make them any more likely to talk and you know it. You're just angry and channeling it into this." 

Chuck jerked like Raleigh had just slapped him. Raleigh wasn't sure where that little rant came from but he also knew that it was a long time coming. Ever since the night Chuck got his own room in Alaska he had been avoided the two of them like the plague. His explanation to 'give them space' made no sense and the distance was making Raleigh cranky. There was no way this conversation was going to end well. 

Fortunately Mako seemed to know this as well and shoved herself between the two of them to break up the fight. 

"That's enough you two," she said. "Chuck, you're right. They aren't keeping us safe but that doesn't mean we have permission to go and torture people. Raleigh, you're also right but now isn't the time to deal with it." Mako took a step back so Raleigh was eye to eye with Chuck again. "Are you two going to behave or do I need to ask the Commissioner to lock you each in separate cells for a few hours?" 

"You wouldn't," Chuck said.

"Try me," Mako replied serenely. Raleigh starred Chuck down again and hated how angry Chuck looked. Raleigh didn't want any of them to have to go through this kind of pain anymore but it was like they could escape hell if they wanted to. For reasons that Raleigh didn't really want to examine he really wanted to pin Chuck to the nearest flat surface and kiss him until they both nearly passed out from lack of oxygen. As Mako said, though she wasn't referring to that particular desire, now really wasn't the time. 

"We need a plan," Raleigh said. "If we can't rely on someone else to keep us safe then that just means we need to keep ourselves safe."

"The best way to do that would be to separate," Chuck said and Raleigh felt like someone had kicked his feet out from underneath him. That was not an option. He could not think of any scenario where he wanted to have Mako and Chuck out of his life. He wanted both of them around always and he was willing to risk too much for that. 

"That's not happening," Raleigh said at the exact same time as Mako. He glanced at her and she smiled warmly at him.

"Witnessing ghost drifting as a third party is just creepy," Chuck said and he winced when Mako punched his arm. "You two know that I'm right though. One person can vanish easily, two people is possible, but the three of us together is damn near impossible." Raleigh didn't have a chance to try and disagree when a large group of men in military uniforms walked down the hallway. Raleigh watched as Mako and Chuck glared at them like it was somehow these particular men's fault that someone nearly took off Raleigh's head. 

"Rangers," a man said. "We have been given order to escort you to a secret location where we will have a meeting."

"I'd like to see some credentials first," Raleigh said. Mako and Chuck stared at him like they couldn't believe he actually had the guts to do. Raleigh walked away from the PPDC once while plenty of people threatened him; there were few people in the world that he was frightened of anymore. 

"Ranger Becket, I'm afraid we don't--"

"Then we're not going with you," Raleigh said. "Sir, someone just tried to kill us. That someone managed to get past the barricade line with a gun. We're not exactly up for trusting everyone we meet right now. I'm sure you can understand." Yancy used to tell Raleigh that, if he focused himself, he would be a good leader someday. He just needed to calm down and remember that while fighting the Kaiju was fun it was still dangerous. Raleigh never did take that to heart and it wasn't until he felt his brother die in his head that he realized it was true. He didn't consider himself better than Chuck or Mako but he did consider himself their protectors. Raleigh was fairly sure if he let anything happen to them Pentecost and Herc would crawl out of the pacific ocean and kill him with his bare hands. After seeing the Kaiju homeworld Raleigh was reluctant to rule something as silly as that out. 

"Unless you want to try and force us in the middle of a police station," Mako said. 

"I'm actually in a spectacularly bad mood so why don't you go ahead and try to force us? I need to blow off some steam apparently," Chuck said as he smiled sharply. Raleigh had never seen a group of professional soldiers look that nervous before and he was a little proud that their reputation preceded them. The man pull out an ID badge and a notice with his orders to take them in and where they were going. Mako and Chuck looked it over with them and it looked legitimate enough.

"Are you convinced?" Lieutenant Peters said. 

"Convinced enough," Mako replied. Raleigh was going to treasure the deeply unimpressed look on Peters face for a long time and judging by the way that Chuck was smirking he was going to as well. 

"Follow me." And just like that they were being lead off by people in uniforms to an unmarked black car. Raleigh thought about making a joke about this being like a movie but decided to keep it to himself. He just finished killing giant monsters with giant robots; Raleigh was pretty sure his life was a movie already. 

+++

Raleigh wasn't sure where they were going but he had a feeling no one would tell him even if he asked. Despite the amount of proof Peters was able to produce he still didn't feel comfortable and even more so when he realized how desolate the world around them was getting that meant that they were heading to the coast and there wasn't anything there anymore. He glanced at Mako and Chuck; Mako nodded because she understood what he was thinking without words and Chuck looked like he was ready to lash out at the first hint of danger.

The car pulled up in front of a small building that looked like it might have power unlike the other ruined structures. Peter's held the door open as another car pulled up and several soldiers fanned out in all directions. Raleigh had a feeling they were going to try and ease his mind and there wasn't any chance of that happened. Instead he reached forward and took Mako's hand because she was always a calming presence if nothing else. Peters opened a large door and revealed what appeared to be a working LOCCENT which made no sense at all. 

"What is this?" Chuck asked carefully.

"The UN kept one LOCCENT working so we could monitor everything that was going on during the war. I was in charge of this facility," Peters replied. 

"You were spying on the jaeger program after you decommissioned it?" Mako asked angrily. Raleigh held onto her hand a little tighter to keep her from going after Peters. 

"You threw us to the wolves to hide behind walls and then have the balls to spy on us?" Chuck was nearly screaming. "You mother fuckers are unreal."

"That's quite enough Ranger Hansen," a voice said. The monitors on the wall were on to reveal the embarastors from each of their respective countries. The Australian ambassador seemed to know that this was about to get ugly. "You need to calm down."

"You should be lucky he's as calm as he is," Raleigh said before Chuck could get himself arrested for threatening a public official. "You had to know that this little reveal wasn't going to go over well."

"We didn't have a lot of time to find a secure location," the American said. "We had to work with what we have in the area and this is what we have."

"So you weren't planning on mentioning this at all?" Mako asked.

"Of course they were going to keep their secrets," Chuck said venomously. "If we had funding maybe we wouldn't have had to go into the water with only two crews after losing two others." The unspoken 'my Dad could be alive right now if you hadn't decommissioned us' hung in the air and judging from the guilty faces all around everyone knew that as well. Raleigh put his other hand on Chuck's shoulder to try and calm him down enough that they could get to the point of this conversation.

"What do you want?" Raleigh asked. "We're kind of dealing with some other issues."

"We're aware," the Japanese representative said. "We are taking the threats on your lives as seriously as we can. There was obvious not enough protection to keep you safe and we plan on rectifying that."

"How?" Raleigh asked. 

"You're going to go into hiding," the American said. "We'll send the three of you to different locations around the world and help you set up new lives somewhere off the grid while we look into this manner. After we locate the problem you can come back."

"You're not splitting us up," Raleigh stated. 

"Ranger Becket--"

"No." Raleigh released Chuck's shoulder and held up a hand to silence all three of them. "You decommissioned our program and then continued to spy on us to make sure that we weren't getting into trouble. You assured us that we were going to be safe but Chuck was hospitalized after those letters nearly killed him. The only reason the kidnapping attempt failed is because we're very well trained and I'm alive right now due to dumb, stupid luck. 

Now you take us to the place where you spied on us, and watched three crews die without sending any extra aid when you knew what was going on, to try and tell us that we're going to get sent all over the world? No, that's not happening. We gave up everything for this program, we saved your lives and everyone else's, and we deserve better than this. You're going to do better than this." By the time he was done talking Chuck and Mako were staring at Raleigh like they had never seen him before and the three representatives were gaping at him with wide eyes. 

"I can see you feel quite strongly about this," the Australian said after a long pause. "And you're right. We did indeed do all of that and you do deserve better. However, we don't want you to die either so we need to find some way to protect you. We thought that spitting you up would be the best option."

"Jaeger pilots work better in teams," Mako said. "The three of us are safer together than we ever could be apart." Chuck didn't look like he agreed about that but he remained silent. Raleigh brushed his hand against Chuck's but didn't quite take it. Meanwhile Raleigh was sure that he and Mako were in the process of breaking each other's fingers. 

"If you truly believe you'll be safer together then you should remain together," the Japanese representative said. "The next problem we need to solve is the location. We need to put you three somewhere safe, somewhere where these people won't think to look, and even if they do look where they can't find you." 

"I have unfinished business in Anchorage that needs to be taken care of," Chuck said. Raleigh blinked because he had no idea what Chuck was talking about, they never discussed anything else that needed to be done, but Chuck looked determined so whatever it was that he was talking about it must have meant a lot to him. 

"I think I know where we can hide just fine," Raleigh suggested as all eyes turned to him. 

+++

"I can't tell if this is a spectacularly stupid idea or a blindingly brilliant one," Chuck said several hours later. They are on their way back to the hotel to get their few belongings and get on a charter plane. It took some convincing to the UN and to Mako and Chuck that his idea would work. Raleigh argued that it was the best to be somewhere where they knew the land. Tokyo and Sydney were too busy and too big but up in Alaska where Raleigh spent a majority of young adult life would be perfect. 

Off of the top of his head Raleigh could think of three towns that no one had ever heard of hidden in the middle of nowhere. If they wanted to stay hidden then this was the best bet they had. Raleigh knew the area and there were people there who would remember and hide them if need be. There were people there he knew he could trust to keep quiet if he explained that they were in danger. Chuck also wanted to go to the Anchorage Shatterdome and clear out any leftover belongs so they could be mailed to loved ones. Raleigh had a feeling that some of Yancy’s things were still there but he didn’t bring it up.

"Pretty sure that description could be applied to all of my ideas," Raleigh replied. Chuck scoffed and Mako smiled. She hadn't released his hand since they walked into the building and it didn't look like she had any intention to start now. Raleigh wasn't sure how he ended up in the middle but here he was. 

"If you get me killed I'm going to come back and haunt your ass," Chuck said. Raleigh laughed and put a hand on Chuck's knee.

"That's not possible," Mako said rolling her eyes. 

"We just finished a war where we killed giant monsters with giant robots," Raleigh pointed out. Mako looked thoughtful and then nodded. 

"Good point." 

"Maybe we could find some weird ass urban legend out in no man's land Alaska," Chuck said. "If we find Bigfoot then I'm pretty sure that would be exactly the type of distraction the UN is looking for to keep people from realizing half the world is already fucked all to hell." In the driver's seat Peters made a choking sound and Chuck looked a little too pleased with himself because of that. What he didn't do, however, was remove Raleigh's hand from his knee. Mako glanced at the hand and then at Raleigh with a raised eyebrow. 

The night that they visited Yancy's grave was hard for Raleigh and he had his first true flashback in a long time. He was fortunate enough that Mako had sensed that he wasn't right and didn't go out on the walk with Chuck and Max. When he fell into the panic Mako sat down in front of him and placed his hand over her heart. He could feel her steady and soothing heartbeat under his palm and how her chest would rise and fall with every breath. 

"Match my breathing, feel the rise and fall of my chest, and count my heartbeats," she said to him and it helped. It was grounding and enough to bring him back to reality. When everything came back into focus they were forehead to forehead. Raleigh wasn't sure who reached for whom but all he knew was one second they were staring at each other and the second they were kissing. It was different from the time they kissed while drunk. This time it felt like something was sliding into place. Raleigh realized, in that moment, that Mako was someone that completed him in the best possible way. Their kisses turned a little deeper and soon enough he had a lap full of Mako. They traded kisses back and Raleigh sucked a bruise into her skin just below the collarbone. 

Raleigh was far too exhausted to do anything else that night. Mako laughed but they crawled into bed and he held onto her like a lifeline. Chuck would be back any second and hopefully he would be quiet enough that he didn't wake them. Only Chuck wasn't in the room in the morning and thus began Chuck staying in his own room. He mentioned giving them 'space' which made no sense to Raleigh. He didn't want space from Chuck; he wanted Chuck around all the time. He loved their banter and how he reacted whenever they called him Charlie Boy. He was pulling away from them though and Raleigh didn't know why. It bothered him and it bothered Mako because they hadn't spoken about the kiss or what it meant since. They were both too worried about Chuck. 

Now Mako was trying to ask Raleigh without words what he was doing. She always went out of her way to touch Chuck but lately he would shy away from the kisses she would place on his cheek or temple. He'd let her hold his hand only a moment and pull away. Raleigh decided it was time to show Chuck how much he didn't want space and began to go out of his way to touch Chuck as well. Raleigh already knew that he was attracted to Chuck and the drunken kisses they had shared ranked up there with the top five hottest things that had ever happened to him. Chuck had seemed into it at the time and every now and then Raleigh would catch Chuck watching him or Mako. He wanted to take Chuck by the arm and shake him while screaming 'we don't want space we want you!' until it went through Chuck's thick skull. That probably wouldn't go over well. Raleigh winked at her and kept his hand on Chuck's knee the entire trip to the hotel. 

+++

They didn’t linger at the hotel very long for security reasons. It made total sense to Raleigh and if he was in charge of his own security he would have done the same thing. He wasn’t in charge though and that’s what made him nervous. The UN didn’t exactly have a good track record in keeping them safe. Raleigh had to take a shower to get all of the blood out of his hair and he had to throw away his shirt. There was no way the stains were coming out. Raleigh tossed it in the trash but he knew someone would come running and snatch it as soon as he left the room. There was some much secrecy and now they were going underground. He was glad Mako had spoken up about the three of them staying together because Raleigh was too busy panicking when that conversation took place.

The charter plane they took from California had nothing but a bunch of government types that kept shooting the three of them suspicious looks and whispering into cell phones. Raleigh knew that Chuck was already on edge but all of the not so subtle glances just seemed to make him angrier.

“They’re just doing their jobs,” Mako said without looking up from the book she was reading. It was like she had a sixth sense when someone was angry.

“Then why do I feel like I’m the one under the microscope instead of their suspect?” Chuck asked. “Raleigh almost got shot so I assume they have better ways of wasting their time.”

“As soon as we get to Alaska we’re going to be more or less on our own,” Raleigh said. “They’ll have new ID’s for us and we’ll have to get rid of anything that could give us away. That means no jackets with emblems on them and no dyed hair.” Chuck and Mako both tensed but didn’t say anything. Max made a grunting noise from the carrier that was under Chuck’s seat. “We don’t have to throw anything away but we can’t be seen wearing them.” He was mostly referring to Chuck’s jacket and their dog tags but Raleigh knew those were going to be the worst. Even when he wasn’t in the PPDC he still wore his tags underneath his shirt. Mako and Chuck practically grew up in the program so he wouldn’t be surprised if they never took their tags off.

“It’ll be fine,” Mako said after a moment of silence passed. Raleigh nodded but Chuck remained silent. Raleigh wasn’t entirely sure who he was trying to convince but he appreciated the sentiment all the same. One of the men glanced at them again and Raleigh glared. He looked away quickly and didn’t look back. 

+++

When they landed Raleigh managed to keep Chuck from punching someone until they met up with the agents that gave them new ID’s. Mako vanished into another room for over an hour and came back with jet black hair. Chuck handed over his bomber jacket reluctantly and looked angry about it. There agents looked like they wanted to say something about the three of them together but wisely kept their mouths shut. Raleigh knew that the three of them staying together wasn't in their best interests and Chuck seemed almost eager to go off on his own but as far as their mental health was concerned Raleigh was confident that this was the best for them. At the end of the day Raleigh wanted the three of them to heal from the trauma and baggage that they carried and they all had deaths to deal with.

"Hello, I'm here to take you to the Shatterdome," an agent said without offering a name. "There will be some officers there to help you do with the possessions as you see fit."

"Thank you," Mako said. Raleigh caught her looking at her own reflection as if she knew something was missing. He took her hand and laced their fingers together. The snow started to fall and it was nearly a blizzard by the time they got to the Anchorage Shatterdome. There were a few people waiting for them and Raleigh watched Chuck immediately started ordering people around. There was bunks with people's things left in them and if relatives were alive they needed their things. 

It wasn't his best idea but Raleigh walked through the halls as if on autopilot and blinked when he realized he was standing in front of his own room. Raleigh left in a hurry and never took all of his things. He wondered if he was another one whose room was left alone with all of his Yancy's things behind. This was a good thing, he told himself, this was he needed to do to help himself work through Yancy's death like he needed to. Raleigh opened the door and tried to swallow past the nausea.

The room looked exactly the same right now to the unmade beds. Yancy's things were in the same place as if he was going to walk through the door any moment and that hurt a lot more than Raleigh expected. There were a few boxes in the corner as if someone tried to come in and take care of everything but decided to leave everything untouched. Raleigh opened the box and began to separate his things from Yancy's. He wasn't sure if it was exactly cathartic like he wanted it to be but it was something that needed to be done. He was only halfway through everything when Max nudged his hand with his nose. Where Max was meant that Chuck wasn't far behind and Raleigh looked up to see Chuck leaning against the doorframe.

"It had to be me," Raleigh said as if Chuck of all people wouldn't understand.

"I know it did," Chuck replied. "but maybe alone wasn't your brightest idea." Raleigh smiled because he could hear what Chuck was really saying beneath the shark. 'I'm here to help you do this.'

"I seem to have a lot of those," Raleigh replied. Chuck nodded and before long they were working in near silence with the only breaks in the quiet being Chuck clarifying who's an item was. Chuck frowned when he found their bomber jackets.

"You marked your kills too," Chuck said slowly as if he couldn't believe that. "You gave me shit for my ego and you did the exact same thing."

"You would have liked pre-Knifehead Raleigh. I was a lot like you only more like an excited puppy," Raleigh said. Chuck raised an eyebrow and stared like he was trying to picture that.

"I can see that. You did follow Mako around like you were five seconds away from begging for a treat. I bet Max would be willing to share if you asked nicely." Chuck grinned and the smile was infectious enough that he was still smiling when Mako found them some time later. The room was completely packed up and Raleigh felt a lot better.

"We've found a lot," Mako said. "Mostly hidden in closets or lockers but the paperwork for this place shows more or less what area belonged to whom. We'll be able to send these things to someone if there is anyone left."

"Good. These ghosts deserve to be put to rest," Chuck replied. Raleigh knew that Chuck was referring more to than just their comrades but to Yancy as well. Raleigh looked at the three boxes that were taped up and had Yancy's name on them. He thought about maybe throwing some of it away but he didn't want to forget his brother. Yancy was his entire world for so long that it didn't feel right to try and cut him out of his life. Raleigh needed to learn to live with the good memories without losing his mind. Chuck and Mako were discussing how much more they had to go through but he wasn't really listening to them. A tension in his chest that had been there since Yancy died seemed to loosen the more he stared at the boxes.

"Raleigh?" Mako asked and snapped Raleigh back to reality. She was staring at him like she just asked him a question.

"I'm good," Raleigh said and for the first time in a long time it didn't feel like a lie. Chuck knocked their shoulders together and Mako walked over to place a kiss on his forehead. He was good, he was fine, and it felt good to say those words and mean them.

+++

It took three days to box up everything in the old Shatterdome. They found artifacts from many people that were still alive, mostly engineers and maintenance, that were shipped off to their proper owners or loved ones. There were a few items that didn't have anyone left and after some deliberation Mako shipped them off to California so they could join other things in a museum. It was only a matter of time before they were forgotten like any other war relic and Raleigh wasn't sure he liked the idea of being a dying breed. 

At the same time he felt lighter than he had in years and that was good. Mako and Chuck also seemed better even though Chuck continued to place more and more distance between them. Raleigh wasn't sure what he wanted to ask but he also had a feeling that the potential fight could be worse. Instead Raleigh continued to try and tell Chuck without words that he wasn't a burden, that they wanted him to be there, and that they were all better off if they stayed together.

After the Shatterdome Raleigh threw a dart at a map of Alaska and that was the town they went to settle into. It was in the middle of nowhere and the drive was long and cold. The government finally gave them their own car and told them that they would ship another in a few days.

"We probably won't need it," Mako said as she looked over the small map of the town. Raleigh tried to steal a glance but Chuck pushed his eyes back to the road.

"Eyes ahead Rals," Chuck said. "She wasn't kidding. You picked one of the smallest towns in all of existence. I'd be surprised if we have any way of contacting the outside world there."

"Good," Raleigh said with feeling and he could tell that Mako and Chuck were staring at him. "The whole point of this was to fall off the grid. The less of the outside world we interact with the less chance of those people finding us."

"At the expense of interaction with the rest of the human race?" Mako asked.

"If it keeps you two safe then I'm willing to give up the rest of the human race." Raleigh wasn't sure if he said the wrong thing because Mako and Chuck were both quiet and the only sounds in the car was Max moving around in the backseat.

"And you," Mako said. "If it keeps all of us safe, not just Chuck and I, but you too, Raleigh." Mako said as she took his hand into hers.

"Besides, I can take care of myself," Chuck said which seemed to alleviate any tension in the car as Mako and Chuck began to argue about how well Chuck could actually take care of himself. Raleigh held up his hands in a surrender when they asked him to choose sides which easily lead into the two of them chastising him for taking his hands off of the wheel. The thought of losing either of them made Raleigh want to run to the furthest corner of the world and hide for the rest of his life. Raleigh had lost too much to the Kaiju and he wasn't about to lose more to their supporters. 

He tuned out the bickering and focused on getting them home safely. There was an address, somewhere to call home, with three bedrooms and enough room for all three of them. When they brought confirmation that there was a house they asked if Raleigh wanted them to continue to look for a one bedroom apartment as well. Raleigh guessed that was Chuck's doing and canceled the order without saying a word about it. Chuck was probably going to be mad about that but Raleigh didn't want him to leave and if that meant that Chuck was angry with him for a little while then that was a price he was willing to pay.

The house was in the middle of nowhere which is what they wanted. The chaos of the press tour and the attempts on their lives was going to make Raleigh have a stroke before he turned forty. He just wanted to be somewhere where he could keep the only two people he had left in the world safe and if it meant they had to hide from the rest of the world to accomplish it then that was what they were going to do. Chuck was half asleep in the backseat of the car but he kept petting Max in his sleep. Mako was dozing in the passenger seat and she jumped when Raleigh touched her hand.

"Don't do that," she chastised but she was smiling so Raleigh knew that she wasn't really mad. 

"I just wanted to make sure that you were paying attention. I might need someone to help me figure out where I am," Raleigh replied. That wasn't really true; he knew exactly where he was going but he wanted some company in the quiet of the car. He was getting lost in his own head and nothing good ever came from that.

"Becket, some of us like sleep," Chuck grumbled. Raleigh glanced in the rear view mirror; Chuck's eyes were still closed and to anyone looking he would be asleep. 

"Yeah and some us don't want to get lost on the way to the house. You can sleep once we get the room set up." Raleigh said and if he didn't know Chuck as well as he did he would have missed the way Chuck twitched. It seemed he was under the impression that he was going to get his own place which meant there was a fight on the way.

"Do we have a budget for the bedroom?" Mako asked. Raleigh glanced in the mirror again and saw Chuck twitch again; he didn't seem to like that Mako was using the word "bedroom" like there was only going to be one. This tension between the three of them needed to be addressed in a very specific way or Chuck would find some way to run off and leave Raleigh and Mako behind. This was not an option. 

"They better. I'm not spending my money on furnishing a fucking house that we have to move into because they don't know how to keep their only jaeger pilots safe," Chuck said. Raleigh hummed in agreement as the small town they were staying in came into view. A few people glanced at their car as they pulled in but no one seemed to linger on them too long. They were far enough away from the main street but not so far that people would notice three people secluding themselves.

The house wasn't anything special but it was nicer than the barracks. There was a large front yard with an unattached garage. It was two stories tall and the paint looked new and shinny. Max seemed to like the yard as he bounced out of the car and ran around like it was the best thing in the world. Raleigh got out of the car and began to gather their things. Raleigh tossed the keys to Mako and between the three of them they managed to empty the car. 

It seemed the PPDC got there before they did because there were pieces of furniture spread throughout the house. It looked brand new and some of it still had plastic and tags on it. While Raleigh appreciated the gesture it also made him a little nervous. No one was supposed to know where they were and the fact that someone had been in the house before them set his teeth on edge. Mako and Chuck were eyeing the various things around the house with the same trepidation and if Raleigh wasn't already sure these two people completed him then that might have convinced him. That or they were all becoming far too paranoid. 

"Sweep the house?" Raleigh asked. 

"I'll take the upstairs," Mako said. 

"I'll take Max and look outside," Chuck said.

"And I'll take the main floor and we'll meet back here in half an hour," Raleigh finished. Without another word they each broke off to check different sections of the house for anything unusual. As he checked every corner he could find Raleigh briefly considered just throwing everything away or taking it into a nearby city and donating it but that kind of generosity could draw attention their way that they didn't need. It was a little ironic that they couldn't donate furniture because there was a chance someone could notice who they were. He didn't like this paranoia but there were too many close calls and he didn't want to take the chance of the next attack working.

The ground floor of the house seemed clear but Raleigh checked everything a second time, just to be sure, and then a third time after that. By the time he was finished Chuck and Mako joined him.

"I wasn't able to find anything. Max, however, found a nice puddle of mud to jump in so he's outside until I can find something to clean him off with," Chuck said.

"The second floor also seems clear," Mako replied.

"Same here," Raleigh said. He noticed the way that Chuck and Mako were carrying themselves that they weren't exactly comfortable but the sun was going down and there wasn't much they could do about it now. "Let's get some sleep and we can look into getting things taken care of in the morning. We've been traveling all day and need some sleep."  
"The master bedroom has a bed but there don't seem to be any sheets. I did find a few blankets and the couch pillows should work well enough," Mako said.

"What about the guest room?" Chuck asked.

"It wasn't made up yet," she said as they locked eyes. Raleigh could see some form of communication happening between the two of them and he didn't like the feeling he was getting.

"I'll take the couch," Chuck said after a moment.

"That's silly--" Mako said.

"I said I'll take the couch," Chuck repeated a little louder. Raleigh put a hand on Mako's arm and she closed her mouth as if she was going to argue with him again. Raleigh squeezed her arm and tried to tell her that now was really not the time.

"Okay, let's find something to wash Max off with," Raleigh said. Mako didn't seem too happy to drop the conversation but it was for the best right now. Chuck was trying to put distance between the three of them for some time now and Raleigh and Mako were doing their best to keep him from pulling away completely. Raleigh knew that Mako felt the same way he did; the three of them were all they had left in the world and they needed to look after each other.

It didn't take long to find a hose which was going to have to be enough to keep Max clean for now. Mako managed to find a towel in one of the bathrooms and between the three of them they managed to get Max clean and dry enough that he wouldn't destroy their new home. Chuck began to make up the couch to sleep on and did his best to ignore the glares he was getting from Mako. Raleigh took her hand and lead her upstairs after they said their goodnights.

"I'm not happy about this," she said as they began to put the bed together. "He's been acting like this for weeks and I don't understand why. He's acting like he wants to leave."

"I think he does or at least I think he thinks he does," Raleigh said. Mako sat down on the bed and Raleigh joined her. "Chuck is an adult and he needs to make his own choices. I canceled his request for an apartment out here so it will take some time for that request to go through again. We have time to figure out what's wrong with him, why he wants to leave, and maybe we can even fix it."

"And if we can't? I've lost everyone, Raleigh, I can't lose either of you either," Mako said softly. Raleigh put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.

"Nothing is going to happen to any of us and that's a promise. We're not losing anyone." Raleigh knew that was a promise he couldn't keep because no one could keep Chuck from doing something once he put his mind to it. Raleigh also knew that he had to do anything to keep this family he made together. Mako leaned in and he kissed her on the forehead. Mako tensed for a moment and then moved so fast that Raleigh was on his back on the bed before he could say anything. Mako smiled like Christmas came early and leaned down to kiss him.

Raleigh wanted to tell the entire world how much he loved kissing Mako Mori but that wasn't an option at the moment so this was going to have to be enough. He let Mako maintain control as she kissed him as hard or as soft as she wanted. That was okay as far as Raleigh was concerned. Despite how much he wanted to go further than this there was something in the back of his mind that told him to hold back for a little while longer. He hadn't lived this long by ignoring that voice and after a few moments he pulled away. Mako smiled and they got their things ready for bed. 

Raleigh walked back into the living room to make sure the front door was locked and saw that Chuck was already asleep on the couch. Max was on the floor and he looked up when Raleigh walked in the room. Chuck put his hand down on Max's head as if he knew his dog was awake. Raleigh smiled to himself, checked the doors and windows, and crawled into bed with Mako. He wasn't calm though and it felt like a piece of him was missing.

+++

The next morning was spent trying to get the house put together and after a brief breakfast at the nearby dinner they went to various stores to buy the things they needed to get settled. That meant a lot of large bills but the credit cards, under new names, didn't fail once and no one looked at them twice. That didn't stop Raleigh from checking over his shoulder every chance he got and it was a little weird to try and remember the new names they had to call each other in public. His new name was "Josh" while Mako was "Rika" and Chuck was "Oliver". It made Raleigh stumble over his words a few times and often they wouldn't come when their names were called. It was going to take some time to get used to and he was worried they were going to have change their names at home too.

"I don't think I can do that," Raleigh admitted as they drove back to the house. The car was so full Chuck had to sit in the front seat with Mako on his lap. "In public I'll do it but I don't think home should be different."

"If we don't use the new names at home then we have a better chance of messing up out here," Chuck pointed out. He looked a little uncomfortable to have Mako in his lap but she looked pleased with herself.

"We'll be fine," Mako said. "It is bad enough that we've had to give up everything to the BeunaKai I will not let them take our names."

"We just have to be careful," Raleigh said. The rest of the day was spent unpacking and turning the small house into a home. Raleigh hadn't lived in a house since before the PPDC so it was a little odd that they had to divide up chores and things that they hadn't had to deal with before in the past. Yancy did most of the maintenance in their bunk and most of the places Raleigh had lived since weren't worth the time to clean or keep up. It was an all day event to get most of the house in a livable state and Chuck spent most of that time setting up his own room. The first time Raleigh walked by to a closed door something dark settled in his stomach. He hated this distance that was being put between them and he really wanted to find out why. Now didn't seem like the time though.

That night the three of them settled onto the couch with a large pizza and a working television. The plan was to watch a movie but the first thing that appeared was the news and their story blaring around them.

"As we continue coverage of the attack on Mako Mori, Charles Hansen, and Raleigh Becket in California this week the PPDC has issued the following statement: our three remaining pilots are currently back at our headquarters where they are being kept safe. At the moment we are working with various police forces to find the source of these attacks and bringing those people to justice," the female reporter read.

"What a lovely lie," Chuck deadpanned as he clicked over the the Bluray player and started up the movie.

"If it keeps us safe I could care less," Mako said. She was in the middle of the couch with Chuck and Raleigh on either side. Raleigh had his arm across the back of the couch and would brush his fingers against the back of Chuck's neck every now and then. He could feel how tense Chuck was and he wished they could just touch like they used to. Mako, forever the devious person that she was, wasn't even a little tired but halfway through the movie she put her head down on Chuck's lap and fell right asleep. She had never fallen asleep during a movie before and it wasn't like her to do so which meant that she was trying something. Perhaps she was trying to see where the barriers of touch were now that Chuck seemed to be pulling away from them. Raleigh wasn't sure and he was going to ask her about it later.

"Why is she doing this?" Chuck grumbled.

"Doing what?" Raleigh replied and he smiled to himself when Chuck twitched at his hand brushing against the back of his neck.

"She doesn't sleep during movies so why is she sleeping now?" Chuck shifted like that was going to be the thing to wake Mako up but she seemed to be really sleeping now that she was comfortable.

"Maybe she feels safe," Raleigh said and Chuck looked at him. "We're in the middle of nowhere under new names. No one knows where we are or even that we're still alive. It wouldn't surprise me if our deaths aren't announced soon. We don't answer to anyone or anything anymore. We're just here and we can do what we want. No more press tours or smiling for people that tried to defund us. Maybe she's asleep because she knows she can." Chuck frowned like he hadn't thought of that before which made sense. Chuck's entire life had been the Kaiju, the war, and the PPDC so it made sense that he didn't really know how to live without them.

"So what are we supposed to do then?" Chuck asked like he couldn't comprehend this new world they were living in where they didn't need to risk their lives every day.

"Actually have a life. Maybe go back to school or take up a hobby. You know, live like a normal person," Raleigh said.

"I fought giant aliens from another world in a giant robot while psychically linked to my father, do you really think anything about our lives is normal?" Chuck turned back to the movie but he didn't try to make Mako move again. By the time the movie ended Raleigh could tell that she was well and truly asleep and carried her up the stairs to the bedroom. He was about to say goodnight to Chuck when he closed the door to his bedroom without another word. There had to be a reason behind this cold shoulder and Raleigh was determined to find out what it was.

+++

It turned out that determination didn't mean much when it came to someone as hard headed and stubborn as Chuck Hansen. Raleigh tried to talk to him over the next few days but Chuck seemed keen on ducking out for whatever reason instead of talking. Raleigh was at the end of the line and ready to just confront him when he saw Chuck sitting on the porch glaring at his phone like it had personally offended him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Raleigh asked.

"I just called about the request for an apartment that I put in. I was wondering why it was taking them so long to find me something," Chuck replied in a calm and even voice that set every one of Raleigh's nerves on edge. This was not a fight that he was looking forward to and Mako wasn't nearby to get in the middle and keep them from punching each other. They were going to have to use their words like adults and that was not something that Raleigh thought that Chuck knew how to do.

"Did they now," Raleigh said because he wasn't sure if Chuck knew it was him that canceled the request.

"Yes, they did, and they said it came down from you which is weird," Chuck replied as he glared down at his phone. "I wasn't aware I gave you the right to speak for me, Becket. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who gets to decide when I want to cancel a request that I put in."

"Look, Chuck, I--" Chuck didn't give Raleigh a chance to finish as he stood up and got directly into Raleigh's face. It reminded him of the time they got into a fist fight after Chuck called Mako a "bitch" before all of this had happened. Chuck was looking at him with that same level of contempt like Raleigh wasn't worth the dirt on his boots.

"You aren't my old man. You don't get to decide what I do with my life and where I live so don't think that just because we're friends means you are in charge of me," Chuck said. Raleigh opened his mouth to try and defend himself but Chuck held up a hand to silence him. "I don't want to hear any shit excuse you think you might have. You can fuck right off for all I care." Chuck slammed his shoulder into Raleigh's as he walked back into the house. Max didn't follow him and instead looked up like he didn't understand what was going on.

The rest of the day was an exercise in learning how to walk on eggshells. Chuck spent the majority of the day away from Raleigh and, when she got home, Mako and when they asked what he wanted for dinner he said he wasn't hungry. Ten minutes later Chuck got his things and left without a word. It made Raleigh uneasy because he didn't like the idea of Chuck being out, on his own, at night in that state. 

"We can't tell him what to do," Mako said as they ate dinner. "You shouldn't have canceled that apartment without request telling him."

"I know but I panicked and someone just took a shot at us and I'm pretty sure I still had blood in my hair." Raleigh sighed because Mako was giving him the side eye which meant that she didn't entirely believe him. "Okay, okay, you're right. I shouldn't have gone and done that without saying anything to him."

"We both know how much Chuck hates it when people tell him what to do, why did you think this would be any different?" Mako asked. 

"I guess I thought I would have figured out why he was putting distance between us by then and he wouldn't want the apartment," Raleigh said. Mako reached over and ran her fingers through his hair. 

It was late when the front door opened and Chuck stumbled in. Raleigh was upstairs reading and he was about to go down to the living room when he heard Mako and Chuck talking. He didn't really want to spy on them but Chuck seemed much more inclined to open up to Mako than anyone else in the world. He crept down the stairs and stayed hidden as he watched the two of them in the living room. The first thing he noticed was that Chuck had been drinking which is never a good sign. He had collapsed onto the couch and was rubbing his temples. Mako reappeared and handed him a glass of water as she joined him on the couch. 

"Thanks," Chuck said as he chugged most of the water down. Mako watched him fondly and got him a second glass once he finished. "You don't need to do this. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can," Mako replied. "I don't mind helping though."

"Are you here to try and defend Becket canceling my request without telling me?" he asked. 

"No," Mako replied which seemed to surprise Chuck as he if assumed that Mako would take Raleigh's side. "I know what he did was wrong and I'd go so far as to say that Raleigh knows what he did was wrong as well."

"Yeah, apologies don't mean shit," Chuck said lowly. Mako frowned as she inched closer to Chuck. She put her hands on his head and moved it so they were looking into each others eyes. It was a very intimate position and suddenly Raleigh was reminded of the night in the hotel when the three of them got drunk. "What are you doing?" Chuck's voice was so soft that Raleigh could barely hear him from his vantage point. 

"You're trying to pull away from me again and I'm trying to get you to understand that you don't need to do that," Mako replied. "Look at me, really look at me, and tell me to my face that you really believe this distance is what's best."

"But Becket--" 

"I didn't say Raleigh; I said you and me. We came to each other first before we brought him in because we needed comfort. I know you're mad at him and maybe even mad at me but if you can tell me right now, with certainty, that you don't need me anymore I'll leave you alone." Mako's words hurt a bit more than Raleigh thought they would. Mako and Chuck had known each other since they were kids and their bond was a lot deeper. They didn't make it obvious, however, so sometimes Raleigh forgot. Chuck didn't reply right away and the silence made him uneasy from his hiding spot as he spied on the two people that meant the world, and more, to him. Mako, however, didn't seem to share his anxiety as she sat completely still and waited for Chuck reply to her. Raleigh wasn't even sure she was blinking.

"No, I don't," he said after several minutes of dead silence. Raleigh slowly let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and relaxed considerably. Mako grinned and rested her forehead against Chuck's. Raleigh thought she whispered "good" but it was so quiet and he was far enough away that he couldn't tell. He expected the two of them to stay like that for a moment and then break apart then he'd have to somehow beat Mako upstairs so he didn't get caught. Instead they both shifted a little closer and Raleigh felt a lump form in his throat. She leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the corner of Chuck's mouth.

"What are you doing?" Chuck whispered.

"Whatever I want," Mako replied. "Because I answer to no one but myself. Should I stop?" Chuck blinked and frowned like he really wasn't sure which boggled Raleigh's mind. He had kissed Mako, on multiple occasions, and he could not understand turning her down for even a second. He shook his head after a long minute and Mako grinned like a cat that just got a cup of cream. She climbed onto his lap and settled down. Raleigh felt a bit like a voyeur as he watched the two of them but they were so beautiful that it felt like an insult to art to look away. Mako wrapped her arms around Chuck's neck as he put his hands on her waist.

"Why is it that you're always on top on me?" Chuck blurted effectively ruining the moment but Mako laughed.

"Feel free to change that if you can," she dared. Chuck had some sort of retort, Raleigh could see him open his mouth to say something, but Mako covered it with a soft kiss. Raleigh remembered Mako telling him about the time when they were teenagers and they ended up making out in Chuck's quarters and he wondered if anything had changed between them since. They were exchanging slow and soft kisses like they had all the time in world which, as he thought about it, they really did. Mako shifted a little closer and Raleigh could see their kisses get deeper, wetter, even from the relative distance of his hiding spot. Chuck moaned softly and Raleigh mentally file that noise away for the next time he had some alone time. Mako laughed as Chuck broke their kiss and began to make his way along her jawline and to her neck. His hands were beginning to sneak up her shirt as he if couldn't resist touching her skin.

A loud knock on the door and Max going absolutely insane was so surprising that Raleigh wasn't sure who jumped higher; him, Mako, or Chuck. They pulled away and blinked a few times.

"We should probably check on who that is," Chuck said.

"I'll watch your back," Mako replied. They broke away and moved with the ease of soldiers. They rarely got visitors and the knock on the door was reason enough for Raleigh to make some noise like he was coming down the stairs. Mako was hidden in the nearby shadows no doubt ready to defend them from intruders at any cost.

"Who is it?" Chuck called out.

"I have a package from a Tendo Choi," a voice called out. Raleigh narrowed his eyes because he hadn't passed their locations on to anyone.

"Don't know who that is," Chuck said equally paranoid as Raleigh pulled out his phone to call Tendo.

"I understand sir. I will leave the package on the doorstep until you receive confirmation. This will be our final communication." Raleigh listened as the sound of heavy boots walked off of their wooden porch and a car drove away. Chuck looked at Raleigh as he waited for the phone to ring.

"About god damn time you got in touch with me," Tendo said by way of greeting. Raleigh sighed and put the phone on speaker.

"You're on speaker Tendo, what were you thinking sending us something to a secure location?" Raleigh asked.

"Better yet how did you even get this address?" Chuck asked.

"I've had Geiszler and Gottlieb tracking you from day one," Tendo said as if it wasn't a big deal.

"I thought I said you should cut all ties and go into hiding," Chuck said and he was glaring at the phone like Tendo could somehow see it.

"Stop glaring at me Hansen, did you really think we'd leave you high and dry after everything we've gone through? Also I outrank you so you don't tell me what I get to do." Tendo was more than a little smug sounding which make Chuck's eyes twitch but Mako smiled.

"It's good to hear your voice," Mako said. "Is everyone safe? If the BeunaKai really believe we stopped them achieving paradise they could target all of you and I know Doctor Gottlieb has a baby."

"We're all safe. Gottlieb and Geiszler have some sort of weird mental link so they're in Germany trying to test the boundaries of it and have maintained consistent contact. They check in every day and report to me any movement the three of you might have. And before you ask the only reason they knew where to look is they might have hacked into PPDC database but that would be impossible to prove and I don't really know one way or another." Raleigh rolled his eyes because plausible deniability could only go so far. "Anyway the box has only been in the hands of that delivery man that I trust. It's safe." Chuck grumbled something under his breath but went out and brought in a decent size box. He was frowning as he looked it over.

"What did you put in here?" he asked.

"I know you guys cleaned out the Shatterdome in Alaska so I made sure to do the same in Hong Kong. You guys forgot some of your stuff so I'm returning it," Tendo replied. Raleigh noticed how still Chuck and Mako suddenly got because there was a chance these were items from Herc or Pentecost.

"Thanks Tendo. I'm assuming you're going to keep in touch no matter what I say," Raleigh said.

"Of course. You three stay safe and don't try to fall off of the grid again. I have zero issues calling Geiszler and Gottlieb to track you down again." Tendo hung up without so much as a goodbye but that was pretty typical for him. Chuck turned the package over his hands a few times and the three of them went into the living room. Raleigh trusted Tendo but he was still on edge as Chuck opened the package. Much to Raleigh's relief it looked like a few items that they must have left in the odd place, a trinket or a book, and at the bottom were three thick files that appeared to be the files that the PPDC had on their entire lives.

"They managed to get our medical records, our military history, everything," Mako said as she looked through the file.

"That is hilariously illegal," Chuck said as he looked it over as well. Raleigh glanced between the two of them and hoped that they would talk about what just happened on the couch. It was apparent that they weren't going to do it in front of him though.

"I'm heading upstairs," he said.

"I'll be up soon," Mako replied without looking up from her file. Chuck grunted some sort of reply and Raleigh made his way to the stairs so he could listen in on their conversation.

"It shouldn't have happened," Chuck said.

"But it did and we can't take it back," Mako replied.

"Yeah but we can make sure it doesn't happen again. It's not going to happen again." Chuck sounded almost angry which was worrying.

"I don't understand--"

"Look, it's not going to happen, so it's best if we just let it go. You need to let this go." Chuck paused for a moment and heaved a loud sigh. "I'm going to let Max out. I'll be back in a little while." Raleigh continued upstairs after he heard Chuck open and close the door. He was lying in bed when Mako joined him and he put his arm around her instinctively. Mako fell asleep without saying anything to him but Raleigh stayed awake until he heard Chuck's bedroom door open and close. He decided in that moment that pushing Chuck to reveal why he was pulling away from them would probably make him run. If he wanted to keep Chuck safe and close then he had to let it go for now.

+++

It was strangely quiet for the next few months. Raleigh talked to Mako the next morning about Chuck and she agreed with him. When they stopped pushing it Chuck seemed less stressed as well and they were able to enjoy themselves. Raleigh was fairly sure that none of them really knew how to just relax. It took some getting used to but, after a little while, it seemed natural. They found the local movie theater and started seeing movies. They caught up on all the television from before the war and did a lot of reading.

None of them seemed able to break the workout regimes instilled in them from the military so they would go on long runs together and hike the nearby mountains. The locals didn't seem to mind them much and once they found a bar with decent beer selection they began to frequent it as well. Mako once mentioned being worried someone there would recognize them but no one ever said a word. The news stopped reporting on them eventually as the world began to move on. Raleigh watched a world once united against one enemy slowly begin to place borders between countries and people again. It was depressing to think that just because the Kaiju threat was gone now the old war and feuds had to start again as well.

"I'm not surprised," Chuck said one night over one too many beers in the bar. "Humans don't know how to exist without war and just because we all got along for a little while doesn't mean it's going to continue."

"We fought for peace and what we got was a world free of Kaiju so it's time for more human wars," Raleigh said softly.

"The world will be fine," Mako said and the three of them drank to that. They were getting along and living their lives. It was a good way to pass the time. It was early one morning that Raleigh woke up before Mako and found Chuck awake and outside with Max. Max wasn't moving as fast as he used to and that fact was making Chuck sad. He had a lot of energy and Raleigh figured it was time to get rid of it. The one year anniversary of the attack on the breach and deaths of Herc and Pentecost were coming up. It wasn't going to be a good time for any of them and Raleigh wanted to take care of the two of them like they took care of him when Yancy's anniversary happened.

"What do you say to a spar?" Raleigh asked. Chuck turned around and blinked.

"Me and you?" Chuck asked. "I'm not really in the mood for something easy. Maybe send Mako down and I'll have a challenge."

"Very funny. Come on; the gym is close by and it'll be fun." Raleigh knew that Chuck was going to say "yes" and when he finally rolled his eyes and went inside to change Raleigh wasn't surprised. They walked to the gym which was open but empty by the time they got there. There was an empty training room which was excellent because the first time they sparred the staff thought they were trying to kill each other and nearly called the cops. It was an awkward moment.

"So what are we playing for today?" Chuck asked as he rolled his shoulders. He was in a tank top and his arms were breaking Raleigh's concentration.

"Yard work," he said.

"All right then I hope you're in the mood to cut some grass," Chuck said. He rushed at Raleigh without waiting for a response. The first punch that Raleigh blocked sent a vibration down his arm that made his entire body come alive. Chuck wasn't holding back which was good because Raleigh wasn't planning on holding back either. He ducked and tried to land a punch on Chuck's stomach but Chuck managed to move out of the way. He was smiling, almost laughing, which was a nice sight to behold. It was nice enough that it distracted Raleigh enough that Chuck managed to land a decent punch on Raleigh's face. His nose hurt and when Raleigh touched it there was a little blood on his hands.

"I'm going to make you pay for that," he said.

"I'd like to see you try," Chuck replied. He was always faster than Raleigh thought he was going to be but he managed to keep up just fine. It didn't take long for Chuck to have split lip or for Raleigh to have what he was sure was going to be a very impressive black eye. Chuck might have been faster but he also used a lot of energy at the beginning of fights. Raleigh took more hits but he had more stamina. Chuck was getting tired and Raleigh used it to his advantage. He kicked out and knocked Chuck onto his back then pinned him down.

"I told you I'd make you pay for that," Raleigh said.

"Whatever, I let you win," Chuck grumbled but he was smiling. Raleigh was so overcome by how blindingly beautiful he found that smile that he was kissing Chuck before he even realized was he was doing. Chuck froze against him but relaxed mere seconds later. Raleigh could taste the blood from their spar and it made him kiss Chuck even harder. He released Chuck's wrists and moaned against his lips when Chuck tugged on his hair. Their gym clothes felt like far too many layers that were not hiding anything. Raleigh wanted to get his hands and mouth on Chuck's skin and he thought he was going to get the chance when he slipped his hands under Chuck's shirt. One minute they were kissing and the next Chuck had shoved Raleigh back so hard he nearly knocked the wind out of him. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I thought it was pretty obvious," Raleigh replied. "I'm not going to keep pretending I'm not attracted to you, Chuck. We've been dancing around this since the Shatterdome and I'm sick of it."

"The answer is “no” and it’s going to stay that way. I swear to God Raleigh if you try anything like this again," Chuck said.

"I don't want you to leave," Raleigh blurted out. "I'm worried you're going to leave and I don't want that. That's why I canceled your apartment request. Mako and I, we want you to stay, we wouldn't ever want you to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere, Becket. If I wanted to leave I would have done it a long time ago. You're not keeping me anywhere I don't want to be." Chuck sighed as he pushed himself to his feet and offered Raleigh a hand. Raleigh took it but didn't let go. "I'm not going anywhere but I'll catch up later."

"Okay," Raleigh said. Chuck nodded and grabbed his things to leave the training room but he paused.

"I'm not going to get in the way either so don't worry about that," Chuck said but he left before Raleigh could ask what he meant by that. It was probably not the time since Chuck seemed on edge but Raleigh wanted an explanation. It was fairly obvious that there was something more between the two of them, between even him and Mako as well, but Chuck seemed to be in denial about it. It wasn't his place to push through and if it kept things just the way they were right now he could handle it.

Raleigh walked slowly back to the house and wasn't surprised to find Mako waiting for him. She took one look at him, rolled her eyes, and went into the house. Raleigh followed her to the kitchen as she pulled out a first aid kit and handed him an ice pack.

"Sometimes I wish you two could come up with another way to get all of this energy out," Mako said.

"He's not leaving," Raleigh said. "I asked him and he said he isn't leaving so I think we need to just leave it alone."

"I thought that's what we were doing," Mako said.

"We were and I kind of fucked it up again," Raleigh confessed and winced when Mako punched him on the arm. "Everything is fine now and he's not leaving so I think everything is going to be okay." Mako didn't say anything else but she did glare at him more. Chuck returned a few hours later and she tended to his wounds as well. When she kissed Chuck on the forehead he only looked a little awkward about it. That night Raleigh had dreams that Chuck was in Striker instead of Herc and died. When he woke up he had to look in Chuck's room to make sure that he was okay. They all had their nightmares and they all dealt with them in different ways.

+++

The one year anniversary of the attack on the breach crept closer and closer. The locals were getting ready to celebrate the same way people used to celebrate the fourth of July before K Day. Chuck and Mako were both becoming more and more withdrawn the more they saw images of their father's on the news and in the paper. By the time the day finally came Raleigh was genuinely worried about both of them and insisted they go out for a nice dinner. Mako and Chuck were both drinking more than they probably should have been but Raleigh wasn't about to stop them.

"He would have liked to see this," Mako said as they watched people set off fireworks in the nearby park. There was music playing from a block party that was being held nearby, "He would have liked to see all of these people so happy."

"My old man would be sitting here in the bar in the corner grumbling about how these people need to go to bed so they can wake up and be productive in the morning," Chuck said. "But he'd have plenty of drinks with people and enjoy himself."

"Everyone can enjoy themselves because of us and because of them," Raleigh said. "I know how much it hurts but we need to remember why they both agreed to detonate that day; to give us a chance to live. To give all of us a chance to live." He pointed outside to a group of kids chasing each other around with sparklers. "They have a future because of them, because of us." Mako suddenly laughed.

"That reminds me of one how Pentecost reacted to one of the celebrations after we killed a Kaiju." Mako went on to tell them stories about Pentecost and how much he not only cared about her but about everyone that served under him. They all smiled and laughed as Chuck told them about how Herc hated the journalists and when he punched one that mentioned a jaeger team got what was coming to them. The tone of the evening shifted from melancholy and sad to happy and fond. Raleigh knew from experience that it took a long time to think of a lost loved one with happiness instead of pain. If he was completely honest with himself he wasn't entirely sure that he was able to do it all the time. It was hard, he knew that, but Raleigh also knew that having someone else there to hold your hand helped too.

The bartender kept the drinks coming and before long it was last call and they were all extremely drunk. They hadn't drove in the first place but Raleigh laughed the first time Chuck stumbled as they got outside.

"You okay?" Raleigh asked.

"Better than you," Chuck said. Mako laughed and jumped on Chuck's back. She could walk but she seemed quite happy to let Chuck carry her back to the house. "This will not be a regular thing, Mori."

"It might be," Mako replied in a sing song voice.

"I'm not carrying you everywhere. I'm making an exception because you'll probably fall on your face if I don't."

"If you say so." Mako hugged Chuck tightly and he slumped a little. "Oh, were you hoping that would make me jump down? You poor dear." Chuck and Mako were a few steps ahead of Raleigh and he smiled as he watched them. They were both so beautiful when they smiled like that and he could stare at them for hours. It made his heart skip a beat and his stomach felt a little queasy. He knew this feeling, he had read about it in the countless trash novels Mako liked to read, but it still took him by surprise. Raleigh was in love with Mako and Chuck. He didn't think he could ever love anyone again let alone two people but as he watched Mako and Chuck it was undeniable; he was in love with them. That realization made more things fall in place for Raleigh.

Chuck said he "wasn't going to get in the way" a few weeks ago. At the time Raleigh didn't understand what he meant but he understood now; Chuck didn't want to get in the way of Mako and Raleigh's relationship. That was why he was distancing himself from them was like someone who cared about two people enough to let himself be unhappy. It all made sense as Raleigh watched Mako and Chuck look fondly at each other; they were just as love with each other as he was with them. The reality of the situation was overwhelming enough that Raleigh stumbled so he was even further behind Mako and Chuck now. They were bickering though and Raleigh could listen and watch the two of them for days. He wanted be with the two of them for years. He was certain that he, Raleigh Becket, was in love with Chuck Hansen and Mako Mori and he couldn't imagine a life without either of them.

"Do I need to send Chuck to carry you too?" Mako called from front porch.

"Becket can walk his own ass back to the house," Chuck said. "I can't believe I carried you." Mako laughed, she was nearly giggling, as Chuck opened the front door and they stumbled into the house. Raleigh was sure his feelings were mutual and if they weren't he was tired of this. He had expelled so much energy trying to hold himself back from Mako and Chuck that he was exhausted. They were living free and safe now, all three of them had given enough and deserved whatever they wanted, and if Chuck and Mako would have him Raleigh wanted them.

He was going to tell them. Perhaps it was the alcohol making him braver than he usually would be but Raleigh was going to tell them today. As he walked up the stairs to the house he could hear Chuck calling Max's name and Mako moving around in the kitchen. It was a little odd that Max hadn't run out to greet them but it wasn't unheard of. Max was the type of dog that could lock himself in a bathroom. Raleigh closed the front door and frowned when he realized how quiet everything was. He was about to call out to them when he heard a slam.

"Raleigh watch out!" Chuck screamed from somewhere in the house. Raleigh turned and felt a prick on his side. The taser made his entire body seize and fall and whoever this was kept it on long enough that the edges of the world began to darken. The last thing he remembered was someone walking up to him before everything went too blurry to keep track.

+++

Raleigh had never been tasered before but it felt a bit like the first time he tried to drift. He wasn't unconscious but he couldn't make his arms and legs move. The world was a blurry mess and he felt like he was underwater. Someone was dragging him across the floor and Raleigh kicked out to try and defend himself but his limbs were not working. Whoever was dragging him dropped him rather suddenly and everything went quiet. The feeling in his limbs slowly started to come back and he could hear people talking but all Raleigh could do was wait.

It felt like years before Raleigh could blink and even hear properly the first thing he heard was someone swearing loudly and a noise that sounded like someone getting punched. He panicked and struggled to push himself up. He was in the living room, on the floor, and there was an older man standing nearby smiling. The man had a gun in hand and Raleigh didn't move.

"Good evening Ranger Becket," the man said.

"Who are you?" Raleigh asked.

"My name is Xopher and I'm the high priest of BuenaKai. You've been a hard man to find but you had to know that we would find you eventually," Xopher said. He smiled warmly but Raleigh could feel how angry this man was. He was nearly vibrating with it and it set Raleigh's teeth on edge. He also didn't like how quiet the house was. A million worst case scenarios ran through his mind but Raleigh tried to remain as calm as possible.

"How did you find us?" he asked.

"We are legion and God is on our side. God is angry that you took away His avengers angels," Xopher said.

"The Kaiju were aliens from another dimension. They weren't sent by your God or any other God," Raleigh said but he snapped his mouth shut when Xopher pointed the gun directly at his head.

"You took away our paradise, you took away Heaven, you took everything from us," Xopher said. He gestured for Raleigh to kneel in front of him and smirked when it took a few tries for Raleigh to stand. "You took everything from us so I suppose it's only fair that we take everything from you as well. Bring them in." Raleigh felt like he was going to be ill when two men pushed Mako and Chuck into the room and shoved them to their knees. Mako's knuckles were bloody and her lip was split and bleeding. Chuck's head was bleeding and his nose looked like it was broken. The two men were both limping in ways that indicated that both Chuck and Mako fought back against their attackers.

"I'm going to break your fucking neck--" Chuck started but Xopher hit him with the gun hard enough that Chuck nearly fell over. The two other men laughed as Chuck spit blood onto the floor. Xopher pulled out another gun and stood behind Mako and Chuck and pointed the guns at their heads.

"Mr. Becket, for your punishment for defying the will of God we will take away one of the people you care about. However, for your punishment, you have to chose who will live and who will die." Xopher smirked as Raleigh felt his entire body go cold.

"We don't need to do this," he said but somehow he knew there wasn't any reasoning with these people. "No one had to die. We can all just walk away right now and no one else has to get hurt."

"We are far beyond that, Mr. Becket," Xopher said as he looked at his followers. "I'd like you two of wait outside. This is a personal matter." The two men bowed and left the room. Mako looked more angry that Raleigh had ever seen her but she didn't waver for a moment. Chuck's hand was twitching like it was taking all of his control not to do anything stupid.

"Please, don't hurt them." Raleigh refused to believe that this was happening, that there was no way out of this situation, there had to be some way to save them both.

"Who is it going to be, Mr. Becket?" Xopher asked. "Will it be the damaged little boy that you've been trying so hard to fix? Or the woman that you've shared your memories with? I know they both mean a great deal to you."

"They mean everything to me," Raleigh said without thinking about the consequences of those words. Xopher grinned like that was the best thing he had ever heard. Chuck looked like someone had just punched him in the gut and Mako looked like there was a very good chance she was going to be ill. Raleigh tried to ignore their faces the best he could so he could focus on trying to figure out how to save all of their lives.

"Everything you say. And what do you mean by that?" Xopher asked as he looked at the two of them like he was just seeing them for the first time.

"I love them, both of them, I'm in love with both of them." Raleigh was surprised how easy it was to say those words out loud. He thought they would stumble off of his tongue in a mess but they came out as naturally as anything. It was just a fact that he was in love with Mako Mori and Chuck Hansen.

"That's unfortunate because one of them is going to die," Xopher said. "Make your choice or I'll kill them both."

"Please, just wait, there has to be something I can do to stop this. I'm not above begging, I will beg, to save their lives," Raleigh said. He was beginning to think that there might not be a way to save them both but he couldn't focus on that right now. There had to be a way out of this, there had to be, he just hadn't thought of it yet.

"There is nothing you can do. You took paradise from us so now I'm taking something from you. You have one minute or I'm going to shoot them both and leave you with their blood on your hands," Xopher said. He began to mumble a countdown from sixty under his breath as Raleigh began to panic. Raleigh looked at Mako and Chuck both of whom looked resolved as if they were fine with dying for the other but that wasn't allowed. He was the one who said he was going to keep them safe and that was what he intended to do. Raleigh would do anything for them.

"Shoot me instead," Raleigh said and Xopher stopped his countdown. Mako whispered "no" under her breath and Chuck moved like he was about to do something stupid. Xopher shoved the muzzle into Chuck's head and he stopped.

"Why?" Xopher asked.

"Because I'm the one that closed the breach in the end. Chuck was injured and didn't even go on the mission and I sent Mako up through the emergency hatch. I was the one that passed through the breach and triggered Gipsy Danger to explode. I'm the one that killed your avenging angels and stopped your paradise so I'm the one who should die. Kill me instead," Raleigh said. He was terrified that Xopher wasn't going to listen to him. "I loved every second of watching your precious Kaiju get blown to pieces. I would do it all over again if I could just to watch them all die." Xopher smiled like he knew that Raleigh was trying to antagonize him.

"You took heaven from me so now I'm going to send you to hell." It was like several things happened at once. Raleigh watched as Xopher moved the gun from Mako's head to point at him as if in slow motion. He also saw Mako and Chuck both move to knock Xopher to the ground. Raleigh opened his mouth to tell them not to do it, that they were going to get hurt or killed, but it felt like someone punched him in the stomach. Xopher was probably aiming for his head but he missed. There was another shot and Raleigh looked up to see a bullet tear through Chuck's shoulder. Chuck managed to subdue Xopher as Mako wrapped her arm around his throat in a choke hold. The sound of cracking bone seemed far away but Xopher was lifeless on the ground. Raleigh blinked and realized that he was falling over and the impact made him see stars.

"Raleigh, Raleigh, look at me," Mako said. She seemed to materialize by his side. He wanted to ask about the other cult members and how they might be armed, how they weren't safe, but the words got caught in his throat. "Don't talk, you're going to be fine, you're going to be fine." Raleigh thought he heard sirens which didn't make sense since no one had time to call the police or an ambulance. He was having trouble breathing or see straight and everything was beginning to feel cold. Raleigh knew he was dying but Mako and Chuck were safe. They were going to be fine and that was what mattered.

The world went dark as Mako screamed his name.

+++

Raleigh had flashes of the world around him but he wasn't sure what was real and what was a hallucination. He thought he remembered someone telling him to open his eyes and talk to him but he wasn't sure. Raleigh thought he remembered someone moving him and pain but it was all so blurry that he couldn't grasp what was real and what wasn't. It was just easier to ignore it all and go to sleep. He was so tired so he just slept.

Raleigh opened his eyes and was nearly blinded by light. He thought maybe he was dead but the light hurt and he was fairly sure he wasn't supposed to be in pain if he was dead. Then he was sure he was dead when his entire body began to hurt.

"It's okay, it's okay," a soft voice said. Raleigh blinked a few times and slowly the world began to come into focus. He was in a hospital and covered in bandages with various tubes and wires sticking out of him. Raleigh immediately thought that he didn't even look human. He was also incredibly thirsty and the nurse seemed to realize that. She fed him a few ice chips and after some time his throat was wet enough that he felt like he could talk again.

"What happened?" Raleigh asked and he was surprised by how weak his own voice sounded.

"You were shot, Ranger Becket," she said. Raleigh immediately panicked because no one was supposed to know his real name but the nurse placed a hand on his shoulder and her touch managed to calm him down. "You're safe here. We have guards watching the room and no one is going to hurt you again. You were very lucky, sir. Your friends across the country got alerts that you were being targeted and we got to the house not long after you were shot. You might not have made it if they hadn't figured it out."

"What about Mako? And Chuck? They were hurt and there were others there. Are they all right? Are they safe? Are--" Raleigh's voice gave out and the nurse fed him a few more ice chips.

"They're fine," the nurse said and she gestured across the room. Raleigh managed to turn his head and it felt like someone removed a weight from his chest. Chuck and Mako were fast asleep on a hospital bed so wrapped around each other it was hard to tell where one of them ended and the next began. "They refused to leave. We had to roll that bed in from another room because they would not leave your side even when we told them that only family could see you. We got a few calls and they were allowed access to you."

"And their injuries?" Raleigh asked.

"Superficial and mostly healed unlike yours. You are going to need a lot of physical therapy before you're going to be running around. Fortunately you're in very good health so it shouldn't be an issue." The nurse fed Raleigh a few more ice chips and then left the room. He was tired, so tired, but he wanted to wake up Chuck and Mako to ask if they were really all right. They looked so peaceful as they slept and Raleigh was a little jealous at the rest they were getting. He could tell them the next time he woke up. They weren't going to leave his side and Raleigh fell into an easy sleep with the knowledge that they were close.

The next time Raleigh opened his eyes Mako and Chuck were still on the bed next to him but they were both awake. Chuck was reading a book while Mako was typing on her laptop. They were still practically wrapped up around each other and Raleigh noticed that they both looked extremely comfortable. He had only been awake for a few seconds when Mako turned and looked at him. She practically threw her laptop to the ground as she scrambled to be by his side.

"You're awake," she said softly. "The nurse told us you woke up but I didn't believe her, I had to see you for myself, I can't believe you're awake."

"You are not allowed to ever pull some shit like that again," Chuck said as he joined them.

"I wasn't going to allow him to hurt you two," Raleigh said his voice hoarse.

"If you hadn't nearly died I would punch you for that," Mako snapped.

"You're not allowed to do anything like that again and that's the end of it," Chuck repeated. "Now we have to deal with your ass getting better for god knows how long." Raleigh wasn't sure what to say to make the two of them feel better so he said nothing. Instead he let the two of them berate him for risking his life like that. He wanted to try and explain to them that, in his mind, their lives were so much more important than his but the words would be meaningless. Raleigh also noticed that neither of them were bringing up his confession that he loved them. He almost hoped they didn't think it was a heat of the moment type of thing because it was true. Raleigh loved Mako and Chuck so much. 

He slept for a few hours and when he woke up there were more people in the room. At first Raleigh didn't like it until he realized just who it was. 

"I was hoping you'd be awake when I got here," Tendo said. He looked the same and he smiled the same smile that he gave when Raleigh was in the hospital after Yancy. The one that said Tendo was both proud of him and wanting to smack him upside the head. "We weren't sure everyone was going to get there on time." 

"You need to have more faith in me, man," Newt said from across the room. He waved from his chair when Raleigh looked at him. "Hey Becket you look terrible." 

"That is not how you address someone in the hospital Newton," Gottlieb said as he limped back into the room. Raleigh was feeling a little overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people that were in his room to see him. The last time he heard anything Tendo, Newt, and Gottlieb were all halfway across the world. Raleigh didn't want to imagine how much it must have cost them to fly out to see him on such short notice. He wanted to tell them that it was unnecessary but Mako glared at him like she knew what he was going to say. "Ranger Becket, I'm glad to see that you're still with us." 

"Those three are the reason you're still alive," Chuck said.

"I put Newt on surveillance when you three went to ground as you already know," Tendo said. "I also put him out on the various Kaiju message boards and the darker corners of the internet to keep track of the BeanaKai as well." 

"They were super easy to track once you knew what you were looking for," Newt said. "I just didn't realize how close they were until it was too late. By then I figured it was best to just SWAT the house just in case." 

"To "SWAT" someone is to encourage a SWAT team to look into a particular house using the internet," Gottlieb explained. 

"So Newt handled that and I got the local hospital to send an ambulance just in case," Tendo said.

"Thank you," Raleigh said. Gottlieb and Tendo's wives and children were also in town but they were going to wait to do proper introductions until Raleigh was out of the hospital. Newt seemed to be tagging along in Gottlieb's family and their connection was impossible to miss now. When they were working together they always seemed to be on the same wavelength but now they seemed to be finishing each other's sentences. He saw what Tendo meant when he said they were exploring the bond. 

Raleigh's nurse, Nurse Jenn, came in not long after and shooed almost everyone away insisting that Raleigh needed to get some rest. Raleigh also insisted that Mako and Chuck go back to the house and get some proper sleep there. They both tried to argue about it but Raleigh got Jenn on his side and she said it was best that they sleep at home as well. Chuck and Mako begrudgingly left and said they would be back first thing in the morning. 

"Thanks for that," Raleigh said as Jenn adjusting his pillows and got him a glass of water. 

"They've barely left since you got here so my motives weren't totally altruistic," Jenn replied. "I'm going to get you some broth from the cafeteria and I want you to try eating something. The sooner you're back on your feet the sooner the three of you can go home." 

"Are you saying you don't like us?" Raleigh teased. 

"You three are lovely but I have a feeling you have some things that need to be discussed," Jenn said. "I'll be back in a moment. Try not to fall asleep." Jenn was gone in seconds despite the fact that she just saw right through Raleigh's act. They did have plenty to talk about and this was not the place to do it. 

+++

The next few days were not easy on Raleigh. He managed to keep the broth down but the first time he tried to eat real food Chuck had to dive to catch his puke in a pan. Raleigh felt terrible but Chuck told him about the time that Max puked in his lap and all was forgiven. By the end of the third day Raleigh was getting a little antsy and wanted to be out of the hospital. The internal damage he sustained was bad enough that they were worried something would happen if he tried too much too fast. He understood that but that didn't stop him from pouting in his room.

"You can't keep food down," Mako said. "and you want to go home."

"I'm just so bored here," Raleigh complained.

"Suck it up buttercup," Chuck said from his chair across the room. He was reading a book that had the title "Now That We Have An Attempted Murder Survivor In The Family" which was A: almost certainly not real and a joke and B: kind of sweet since that was Chuck admitting that Raleigh was his family. He was okay with that.

After Raleigh was able to keep food down they started to ween him off of the pain medication which was one of the worst experiences of his life. He didn't remember coming off of the medication when Gipsy went down so the withdrawals symptoms were terrible. Mako, Chuck, and Jenn all helped him through it the best they could. Whenever Chuck or Mako weren't at the hospital they sent Tendo or Newt to visit. They were both good at conversation and it was enough of a distraction that Raleigh was able to make it through the worst of it with his sanity in tact.

Raleigh was so stir crazy by the end of his three weeks in the hospital that he almost didn't let them roll him out in a wheelchair. He wanted to insist that he could walk if a bit slow but they refused. Mako and Chuck glared at him until he sat quietly in the chair. Tendo was waiting in a rental car to give them a ride back to the house. Raleigh didn't want to admit it but just the walk to the car wore him out a bit. There were people waiting for him when they pulled up.

Raleigh hadn’t seen Alison Choi in years but she smiled and embraced him like he was an old friend. She had long, dark chair and bright green eyes. She guided him into his house which was more full than he had ever seen it. Newt appeared to be playing with Tendo's two year old son while Gottlieb sat next to who Raleigh assumed was his wife Vanessa and their baby girl. Vanessa was just as beautiful as Newt would describe her with long, dark curly hair and dark skin. She did not get up when Raleigh entered but she smiled warmly at him and nodded.

"Oh hey look who decided to join us," Newt called. He has a marker in his hand and he appeared to be letting Tendo's son color his tattoos.

"Are you all staying here?" Raleigh asked.

"We've managed to make it work," Alison said as she joined Tendo and wrapped an arm around him.

"Hermannn and Vanessa using my room while Tendo and Alison are in the guestroom and Newt is sleeping on the pullout in the family room," Chuck said. That made sense since there were only so many rooms but that also meant that Chuck was sharing with Mako. Gottlieb looked up from his phone and nodded.

"Very well, I've ordered the pizzas and they will be here soon," he said.

"Did you get the--" Newt began.

"Yes of course," Gottlieb finished.

"Sweet." Raleigh knew that kind of connection, he had seen it with various people in the drift before, but it was a little more extreme than he was used to. Vanessa, however, just looked at the two of them fondly like she knew that she had inherited Newt for life.

The rest of the night was spent consuming an outrageous amount of pizza, talking, and laughing though Raleigh did his best not to since it hurt. He was on the couch between Mako and Chuck and they were both sitting close enough that they were touching him at all times. Raleigh had a feeling that they were not going to let him out of their sight anytime soon. It was the same thing he would have done. Despite how tired he felt Raleigh did his best not to show it. It seemed like everyone was having such a good time and he didn't want to ruin it. Jensen, Alison and Tendo's son, fell asleep on the floor after playing with Newt most of the night and slept through all of their conversation. Alyssa, Gottlieb and Vanessa's newborn, would wake up and fall asleep every now and then but didn't seem to mind the adults around her.

Raleigh began to doze off and stop listening to the conversations around him but whenever Mako or Chuck would shift next to him it would wake him up. By the time everyone else was starting to wined down Raleigh wasn't sure he'd be able to make it up the stairs without falling over and busting his gut open.

"I think we should all get some sleep," Mako said. Raleigh blinked and realized that everyone was staring at him because he was asleep mere seconds before.

"I didn't mean to--" Raleigh said but Tendo waved his hand to dismiss the conversation.

"You're injured. We're actually surprised you managed to stay awake as long as you have," he said with a smile.

"Oh!" Newt said loud enough that Alyssa stirred in her mother's arms. Gottlieb looked extremely annoyed by this but didn't say anything. "All of you owe me twenty bucks. Pay up." Nearly everyone in the room frantically looked at watches, phones, and clocks and they all groaned loudly as they all realized what time it was. Raleigh had no idea what was going on as nearly everyone fished out money from their wallets and pockets and handed the bills to Newt who was grinning like a madman. "I knew you had it in you to stay awake this long, Becket."

"You all placed bets to see how long I would stay awake through all of this?" Raleigh asked. "And Newt of all people won?" He looked at Chuck and Mako who should know him well enough to predict how long he could stay awake.

"They both assumed you would fall asleep instantly," Gottlieb said. "I did not partake in such a silly little bet."

"But I did on his behalf so he wouldn't be embarrassed," Vanessa said as she expertly went through her purse while balancing a baby in her arms like it was no big deal. Raleigh found everything that Vanessa managed to do with a baby in arms fascinating because he was afraid he'd break her if he even held her. If he was going by the way Chuck seemed leery to hold her as well he felt the same way. Mako managed to hold Alyssa but she looked a little uncomfortable. It made Raleigh smile that they could all jump in giant robots and punch aliens from another dimension but they were all afraid of holding a small human being.

"I had faith in you Becket," Newt said as he counted the money. Gottlieb sighed heavily and hit Newt on the arm with his cane and glared. "What?"

"You know what," Gottlieb said.

"I'm not--" Gottlieb just glared at him. "Now come on--" Raleigh was almost impressed how imposing a man with a cane could make himself look. "Oh fine will you just stop." Newt counted out half the money and handed it to Raleigh. "I guess you can have this for getting shot or whatever."

"I think this is enough playtime," Alison said as she went into 'mom mode' that Raleigh recognized from his own childhood. She was taking control of a bunch of adults that were acting like children instead though. Chuck helped Raleigh get to his feet and began to help him toward the stairs as Mako helped clean up the living room and the kitchen. Chuck only laughed at him a little when Raleigh began to curse every single stair on the way up to his bedroom.

"You do what you need to do in the bathroom. I'm going to go help Mako get everything squared away," Chuck said

"Hey Chuck?" Raleigh called out as Chuck paused at the door. "Thanks for all of this. I really liked having everyone here to see me. It helped. A lot."

"Don't mention it." Chuck closed the bedroom door and Raleigh hated him a little when he heard how easily he went down the stairs. Those were going to be become the bane of his existence very quickly. Raleigh decided not to think about stairs too much and focused on getting himself ready for bed. He couldn't wait to sleep in his own bed for the first time in weeks. It wasn't until he got into his bathroom that Raleigh realized just how bad he looked. He hadn't shaved and was sporting quite a beard. He was pale and sweaty like he was running a fever. He looked half dead. There wasn't anything he could do about the pale skin or clammy look but he could take care of the beard at least.

It turned out that "taking care of the beard" was a lot more work than Raleigh thought it was going to be. He was only about halfway done when he had to sit down on the toilet and take a break. Raleigh didn't remember it taking this much energy to shave before but he was recovering from a gunshot wound. He was still contemplating how it wasn't fair that he has so little energy when Chuck found him in the bathroom with a half shaved face. 

"You decided now was a good time to shave?" Chuck asked from the doorway. Mako popped up behind him, as if out of nowhere, and smiled. 

"Yes, I decided now was a good time," Raleigh replied. "That was probably not a good idea though." Chuck sighed like Raleigh was the worst person in the world while Mako laughed softly at him. Chuck grabbed the razor from the counter and knelt down in front of Raleigh and began to finish shaving his face. Chuck was so close Raleigh could see the various shades of green that made up Chuck's eyes and the heat coming off of his body. Mako stood at the counter and began to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. The bathroom was not exactly big so they were all in each other’s bubbles. It made Raleigh's heart beat harder and his mouth go dry. 

"Stop swallowing or I'm going to cut you," Chuck chastised as if he was completely unaware that he was making Raleigh more than a little crazy right now. Raleigh managed to calm his heart down enough for Chuck to finish shaving. He watched as Mako and Chuck moved around each other and it was different from before he got hurt. They moved as if they weren't even aware that the other was there, effortlessly avoiding bumping into each other, and it reminded Raleigh of how drifting partners would get. 

It took more effort than Raleigh was willing to admit to stand up, wash his face, and finish doing everything he needed to do to go to bed. His large bed looked so welcoming and he couldn't wait to sleep for the next day or so if that was what it took. He had to avert his eyes quickly when Mako changed into her pajamas and then had to do the same for Chuck. They didn't normally change around each other anymore and Raleigh's brain was having trouble keeping up. Mako took his hand and guided Raleigh toward his bed and helped him lie down with his injuries. He was expecting to be on the edge but Mako helped him move to the middle. Raleigh was about to ask where Chuck was going to sleep when he climbed into bed with Raleigh and Mako like it was no big deal. 

"What's going on?" Raleigh asked suddenly wide awake. 

"What do you mean?" Mako asked. 

"You two know what," Raleigh said as he looked at each of them. "Chuck doesn't sleep with us anymore and you two are acting differently. What happened?"

"You died that's what happened," Chuck snapped. "On the operating table your heart stopped and you were dead for a few seconds." His voice broke in a way that hurt Raleigh to his core. "Mako and I had to stand there and wait for them to bring you back." 

"Did you mean what you said?" Mako asked. "When you told Xopher you were in love with both of us, did you mean that?"

"Of course," Raleigh said because he had already said it once so it was easy. "I love you," he said as he looked at Mako and then turned to Chuck. "and I love you too but that doesn't explain this." Chuck leaned in so his lips were nearly touching Raleigh's ear. 

"The feelings mutual," he whispered. 

"So we had a talk while waiting for you to wait up and it turned out Chuck was staying away because he thought he was getting in the way of you and I," Mako said as she eased closer to Raleigh and turned his head so he was looking at her. "So, to put it as Chuck did at the time, "fuck it". We work at a unit, the three of us, so why should loving each other be any different?" Raleigh's mind was slow to catch up because of the exhaustion and the painkillers but Mako closed the distance between them and kissed him soundly. Then he was being turned the other way and Chuck kissed him as well. Two hands were just over his heart and Mako and Chuck linked their fingers together. 

"It's too bad you're injured," Chuck said against his lips. "But we have plenty of time for everything once you're better. We're not losing you again."

"We're not losing each other," Mako corrected. They carefully leaned across Raleigh and he got to watch them kiss. It was stunningly beautiful and he wanted to watch more but he was so tired. Mako and Chuck seemed to understand that and they settled close to his body on the bed. Raleigh was between the two people that he loved and he got to keep them both. The sense of happiness that had been missing since Yancy died seemed to settle into his heart. He had Mako, he had Chuck, and he had all of his friends nearby. Raleigh had everything he could ever want and he fell asleep smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [tumblr](http://safaiagem.tumblr.com) and [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/katiesmovies).


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